


Rabbit Karma

by OberonTitanicusRex



Category: Zootopia (2016)
Genre: Action & Romance, Alternate Universe - Reincarnation, BAMF Judy Hopps, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Soulmates, Supernatural Elements, Zistopia Fanverse
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-02-02
Updated: 2021-01-07
Packaged: 2021-02-28 00:01:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 56,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22534393
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/OberonTitanicusRex/pseuds/OberonTitanicusRex
Summary: Judy WildeHopps have lived to be 101 years old. In that time she has served as Chief of precinct one longer than anyone, she has saved more lives than than she cares to count, and she was married to the Mayor of Zootopia for almost a quarter of a century. Now she stands to receive the greatest award Zootopia has to offer. But is that truly enough reward for such a well-lived life?
Relationships: Fangmeyer/Wolford (Zootopia), Judy Hopps/Nick Wilde
Comments: 94
Kudos: 162





	1. Death of a Legend.

Foreword by the author:

So, after reading many tens of thousands of fanfics over the last twenty years I have finally gotten around to writing one of my own. Fair warning, I love my clichés and will not hesitate to use them. Also, after reading so many fics I am certainly doomed (DOOMED!) to steal someone elses ideas and/or characters. I will give credit where it is due if I remember it though. Whats more English is not my mother tongue and I don´t have a beta sooo , again, you have been warned.

Now for my first fic I have chosen Zootopia as the medium, having been inspired by many great predecessors such as (but not limited to):

Cimar of Turalis Wildehopps, DrekkDeina, sarsis, Bluelighthouse, VariableMammal, HawkTooth, MrFallenAngel, ayziks, MinscLovesBoo, Fox in the hen house, ScaraMedn, Zanrok, Nitemage256, GusTHeBear, Armae, WANMWAD, BoneyM, ADeadMissionary, and so on and so forth.

Before we start the story a few messages to some of my fellow writers:

To MinscLovesBoo: I fully intend to uphold the threat I once made in my PM in later chapters of this story. BWAAHAHAHA!!! #DCP

To sarsis: Rereading the whole of Guardian Blue for a fourth time seems kind of silly, please write more of it so we can avoid that. Even if you don´t use my idea 😉.

Finally, to Zanrok: I hope you haven´t lost your taste for writing as your productivity has gone way down the last year or so. If not, its time to finish The Conspiracy and continue Derailment, One hundred boops and Old arrangements. Christmas is over Grinch, so get back to writing or no coffee for you! ….please?

Now just one more thing; Later chapters will assume the reader has some knowledge of the early draft of the movie, often referred to as Zystopia. If not, google or youtube is your friend. Here we go.

**Rabbit karma Chapter one.**

It was a beautiful day in Zootopia, the most modern, futuristic, accepting and in many ways simply best city on the face of the planet. “Where anyone can be anything” was nowadays no longer just a slogan but as close to the literal truth as you could reasonably ask.

Of course that had not just happened. No no, many _many_ mammals had worked their tails off for nearly a century to make it so. Naturally some had worked harder and longer then others. This story is about the one mammal who topped that list by a _huge_ margin.

To find the mammal in question we go now to the Zootopia town hall, a building so majestic that it regularly could be found on top-ten lists of impressive architecture around the world. Having been regularly upgraded to modern standards but still keeping in line with its cultural roots it had amazingly managed to not simply become garish but remain a true icon of the city, a fact many visitors found rather astonishing. And no, visiting dignitaries were not just jealous, no sir!

Anyway, this iconic building had just been the venue for a celebration of the citys most famous living resident, paying respect to her unparalleled contributions to Zootopias prosperity and, on several occasions, its very survival.

As the front door open wide out to the town hall square allowing the guests to exit and form two spreading lines down the sides of the entry’s stairs, a hush spread across the assembled mammals. Then, walking besides the thin cougar that was mayor Arthur Sleekfur, a real-life living legend stepped from the building and out into the sun.

At one hundred and one years old, ZPD Chief Judith Laverne WildeHopps (retired) walked slowly but with a dignity that could best be described as a shroud of majesty to be greeted by the masses. The mayor had heard the saying that you should never meet your heroes because you would only be disappointed, but with this small bunny that was clearly false. Her sheer presence was enough to make him feel very young and foolish, _insignificant_ even. How a mammal of such diminutive stature could seemingly cast a shadow over the whole city was beyond his understanding, but then again so was most of her many accomplishments. Where her fur had once been a silvery grey it had now turned mostly snow white with age. Once only flesh and blood she was now… more. Or less, some would say. She was, in fact, a _cyborg_. She had been lucky in that respect, just as cybernetics had reached a point of being truly viable she had for the first time needed some spare parts.

As the mayor walked beside his childhood hero he could not help but be aware of this, as for each step she took there was a quiet mechanical whirring coming from her legs. The soft sound made his spine tingle as he was almost forcefully reminded of why she was still his personal Hero with a capital H. She had in fact lost her original set of legs in her mid-forties when she had stopped a terrorist attack by an armoured vehicle. Somehow she had managed to destroy it with nothing but her standard duty equipment reducing the tracked monstrosity to a burning husk. Unfortunately her legs had been crushed beyond all hope in the fight. Which had _still_ not stopped her from taking on the last surviving terrorist.

‘Well, _taking on_ might be a bit much’, the well-dressed feline thought. There was still video of the confrontation:

 _A white-tailed deer in his late teens had been lucky enough to just escape before the specially-made APC had gone up in flames. Staring in horrified disbelief the young stag could do nothing else as his dreams, such as they were, along with his comrades went up in flames. At least until a small form had crawled out from under the burning wreck on its elbows, violently shaking its head to put out the flames on its ears and back, and slowly locked eyes with him. When the still smouldering being had seemed to stare right into his soul through pools of eldritch amethyst fire, let out a hiss of fury and begun to crawl towards him with surprising speed he had done the only things he felt appropriate: Soil himself, scream in absolute terror, turn around and run like all the Hordes of Hell had come out to sodomize his ass. As he ran, a terrifying scream echoed behind him: “YEAH YOU BETTER RUN! IF I CATCH YOU I´LL_ BITE YOUR KNEES OFF _!” Six miles away he simply passed out from exhaustion._

The mayor watched the small bunny from the corner of his eye, musing; ‘She´d have done it, too.’ Quite a few civilians had lost their lives in the attack and the bunny had acted with extreme prejudice in ending it. In the aftermath the entire ZPD had fallen on the rest of the responsible organisation like the wrath of a heathen god in the name of their wounded chief, avidly cheered on by the mayor of the time. Considering the then-mayor had been named _Nicholas Piberius WildeHopps_ one might rightly claim bias on his part. It had not mattered, all of Zootopia had cheered when mayor WildeHopps had declared in a famous speech “Zootopia will not **ever** bend to terrorists!” and allotted a large sum of city funds to “get our finest officer back on her feet”.

The ‘getting her back on her feet’ part had been expensive, time consuming and ultimately extremely successful, replacing everything below her upper thighs with cybernetics. For the next ten years Judy WildeHopps had been the single fastest landbound being to have ever been recorded, outstripping a cheetahs top speed by more than 10 mph and becoming a source of hope for handicapped mammals everywhere. (Fun fact: when a cheetah with similar enhancements to Judy had finally beaten her record for land speed he had raised his arms in victory and declared: “Yes! I did it! I beat that little… middle aged… bunny doe…” looking less and less triumphant as he spoke, finishing on nearly a whisper, eyes going glassy. Luckily his trainer had been present to smack him upside the head. A shout of “You just outran JUDY WILDEHOPPS you fool!” had the runner smiling like a… fool… again repeating his yell: “YES! I did it!”)

Unfortunately the rise of cybernetics had proven to be a double edged sword. While they made life better for many mammals they also made Zootopia more dangerous over all due to the wide spread of such advanced tech, making it easily accessible for even the least discernible individuals. This was a fact shown clearly on the bunnys body. Her right paw had been bitten clean off below her elbow by a bear driven mad by faulty wetware in his head and replaced with a cybernetic one. Her left one had had extensive repairs done after being crushed by a rhino. Her entire torso was riddled with battle scars and replacement parts after being shot, stabbed and otherwise damaged during the longest career in the ZPD:s history. Fifty-two years as chief of precinct one was simply unprecedented, the many alloy ribs and artificial organs that made it possible was both the cost and the proof of it.

‘And even that is not the end of it.’ The mayor considered as the two stopped at the top of the stairs in front of the gathered crowd. No, the most noticeable damage was her ears. All but the two inches closest to her head where clearly artificial, made from a matt black substance with a network of softly glowing purple circuitry in them. Those had been necessitated by “The _un_ sane samurai” as the news had dubbed him; a tiger with extensive cyber-enhancements of his own and armed with a katana. Declaring himself a symbol of true justice he had gone vigilante in Zootopias underworld, leaving a trail of blood and death in his wake. When the ZPD had protested his actions he decided that the police was a threat to his honour and needed to go. Unsane indeed. His attack on precinct one had left eight officers dead and five wounded before Judy got to him. She was over seventy years old then, which might explain why she miscalculated when she dodged the only sword swing the tiger got to make in her direction. The end result was a bunny with her chopped off ears held in her right paw and a tiger that would not walk under his own power for ten months, cybernetics or not. (Those where HER officers he cut down, dang it!) When an EMT had approached her she had held out her ears to him and calmly asked if he could do something about them. Him puking in the nearest waste-bin was taken as a no. Her simply dumping her own ears in the trash on the way to the precinct’s cybernetics department to “Get something better installed” firmly established her moniker of “Chief Bamf-bunny” in the minds of her subordinates until the day she retired and beyond.

The much-younger-than-his-guest mayor at last turned fully to the bunny, who calmly met his gaze. ‘Geez, even her _eyes…_ ’

It was true, long after her retirement there had been attempts to give officers who lacked such, night vision. Now, the eye is one of the trickiest parts of the body to manipulate; even the brain was not as difficult to get to grips with at this point. Then in her early nineties, Judy had volunteered as a test-subject for this experimental treatment because “I´m old, this might be the last time I can assist the ZPD in my life. Besides, if worse comes to worst it’s no big deal, it’s not like I need my eyes anymore.” Strictly speaking that was true. She had interfaces directly into her brain allowing her to access any and all digital media, and the highly advanced sensor arrays that now replaced her ears gave her a perfect 360-degree awareness of the world around her in all light conditions. Amazingly the procedure had been a total success, giving her eyes both low-light and infrared abilities. The only cost was a far more intense eye-colour than ever before and the fact that her pupils would become slitted like an ancient feline ( _or a fox!_ ) if she activated them. This cost was accepted with a “Meh” and a casual wave of the paw. (They would also give off a bit of a glow if powered up sufficiently. She had gotten a _lot_ of mileage out of that, giving the occasional disbelieving/disrespectful youngster a deathglare with suddenly s _litted and glowing_ eyes _._ Add in a little growl and she could make predators ten times her size wet themselves with disturbing regularity.)

“Meh” had been her standard answer to most threats to her life and limb ( _I´ll just get em replaced!_ ) ever since she lost her husband of 23 years, sadly. After losing Nick she just could no longer be bothered to care as much. Paradoxically this allowed her to make decisions with an almost clinical detachment, quickly making correct assessments where others might have doubted themselves due to fear, thus letting her survive and succed where she should not have been able otherwise. Really, only her duty and her friends kept her going for so long, which was somehow even sadder since she had outlived so many of the latter. Mayor Nicholas Piberius WildeHopps had served in the ZPD beside her until she made Chief, and then two more years as her second-in-command until he finally decided that he was bored and needed new challenges. She had supported him wholeheartedly in his mayoral campaign and they made a formidable team as mayor and chief of precinct one; he knew intimately what the police and the city needed and the ZPD still saw him as one of them and backed him to the hilt. With Judy first in line, of course.

That was what got him killed in the end; his close ties to law enforcement and strong stand against terrorism made him a danger to certain extreme elements. Just before the ZPD mopped up the last of them they performed a hail Mary assassination attack that had manage to mortally wound the mayor, just allowing him enough time to say his last goodbyes in the hospital before his passing. Chief WildeHopps had later arrived to a deathly silent bull pen, given the whole precinct a thousand-yard-stare and said: “I want to grieve my husband. You know what to do. Dismissed.” Every officer present had simply stood up and trooped out to do what was needed. Zootopia was declared terrorist-free within seventy-two hours in a show of brutally effective police-work that sent ripples across the globe. It was a testament to how popular the late mayor had been that the average Zootopian greeted any police officer they met with a simple nod and helped with whatever were asked of them for months after his death. Criminal activity was at an all time low for several years thereafter.

Mayor Sleekfur looked into those ancient pools of eldritch fire and could see nothing but an old, tired sadness, despite the kind smile displayed beneath them.

‘Damn those fanatic bastards! They cost all the city so dearly, and for what? That manifesto they spread was little but a confusing word salad, not even professional linguists could make heads or tails of it! For crying out loud, not two of them seemed able to agree on what they were fighting for, just that the fight was critically important! Gah! Siiigh, that was before my time though, only thing I can do today is, well, this I guess.’

With that last depressing thought, Arthur Sleekfur gave the citys greatest hero his best smile.

“Are you ready for this, Mrs WildHopps?”

That old, tired smile wavered not one iota.

“As I´ll ever be, Arthur.”

“Mmmm, very well then.”

With that, the mayor turned to the square, where mammals had begun to whisper excitedly to each other, parents pointing out Judy to their young, cameras and phones at the ready.

To this, the mayor raised his paws and spoke loudly into a conveniently placed microphone.

“Ladies and gentle-mammals, I give you Judith Laverne WildeHopps! As of today, she is officially declared as the _Grand Hero_ of Zootopia!”

Judy took a step forth as the mayor turned to her and hung a large, ornate, golden medal around her neck.

The cheers where booming and seemingly never ending.

-RK-

Several hours later a rabbit in non-descript dark grey pants and hoodie walked slowly along Old Sequia street, a heavy golden object weighing down one of her pockets. She had eventually felt forced to utilize her long unused but still remembered undercover skills and a set of dress blues made from programable fibers to slink away from her own celebration. A few seconds out of sight and her old resplendent uniform as if by magic turned into something completely forgettable. Then she simply faded into the background and left, internally giving thanks to her long lost foxy husband for insisting that all officers should have the ability to go undercover at a moments notice and damn the cost. Those uniforms where not cheap, but in the end almost the entire ZPD had been issued the new fabric. It had been a smash hit out in the streets.

‘Sweet cheese and crackers, kitten, you know I love you like a grandson but when your age hit triple digits you loose a little bit of stamina! A five hour street party after a two hour official reception is just a little bit much.‘ Such was the tired bunnys thoughts. She could not help smiling a bit at the thought of the ruling mayor, though.

‘Oh, he was _sooo_ cute the first time I met him! He was shorter than even me back then! Just a little ball of hyper fluff, all eager and happy to see the big hero cop. Can´t believe he became mayor because of me.’

Thinking back, that had been around the time she finally retired. She had been walking home from work when a four year old cougar cub had seen her and immediately slunk away from his parents to run up to his hero, a hundred questions spilling from his mouth. Long used to dealing with the public in all manner of ways, the aging doe simply smiled at the exuberant youth and waited for his already approaching, and not looking entirely happy, mother to collect him. However, just as the larger feline came up to them, the cub stated a question that hit close to the rabbits heart:

“Can I become a police officer _just like you,_ and make the world a better place?”

A gasp from his mother made Judy look up into her eyes; her face a mask of terror. Understandable, as the last twenty to thirty years had seen much of the civilised world pioneering a whole lot of advanced technology, not just cybernetics but everything else needed for it: New materials, new power sources, new and better everything really. An exciting time to be alive, for sure, but pioneers living on the border lived dangerously. _May you live in interesting times_ was a **curse,** after all. By now society had begun to adapt and stabilise, calming down, but for the likes of the cubs mother it probably seemed like the citys public servants had always been in need of the sort of medical miracles that kept Judy on her feet, being constantly in physical danger. She had most likely grown up never knowing anything else.

Understanding this, Judy wanted to calm the worried mother. She had just the solution too.

Taking a knee in front of the cub, she smiled as gently as she could. Grabbing an ear in her left paw and wiggling the fingers on her right she clearly showed off their artificial nature.

“Being an officer _just like me_ is not really something I can recommend. If you want to make the world a better place I suggest you do it like my husband instead, he truly made some lasting changes.”

The poor mother was visibly sagging with relief as the cub curiously observed the bunny. Confused, the cub had an important quiestion:

“How do I become Mayor, ma´am?”

Still sporting her kindest smile the old doe began to lay out a lengthy path of what education, knowledge, backing, liquid assets and so on one would need to become mayor and to be a good one at that. The cub listens quietly the whole time, carefully burning every word of his hero into memory. Once she had finished both cub and mother had thanked her profusely, the female cougar was especially happy that her beloved cub had been shown a far less risky path in life. Contact information had been exchanged, calls and messages had been sent back and forth in the following months, Judy had somehow ended up cub-sitting several times, and the cub had never ever wavered from the path he´d been sat upon.

_The rest, as they say, is history._

Lost in her memories, the slightly smiling lagomorph was taken aback when she looked around and realized she had walked on auto-pilot for several blocks and had now arrived into a rather different part of the city. The buildings seemed softer here, built as they were with gentle curves and pastel colours. The roads were empty of heavy traffic as all such had been relegated to a system of monorails that hung far above street level, thus freeing the streets for pedestrians and light vehicles. It was also far quieter here than a normal busy street, as all vehicles and the monorail were al-electrical and whisper-quiet. As such the most noise came from mammals speaking, walking and doing all the things that made a city.

This was The New Town.

As Judy looked up to see a monorail-car passing above her as it hung suspended under the specialized rail, she could not help feeling her eyes moisten. This part of Zootopia had been razed almost to the ground during the terrorist attacks and had been rebuilt to its current form as the brainchild of the ruling mayor of the day, Nicholas Piberius WildeHopps.

The Grand Hero of Zootopia felt a single tear run down her cheek as the never forgotten pain of losing her mate stabbed through her once more, however the thought of him in this place brought up another, far more cheerful, memory.

Suddenly our dear rabbit has to cover her face with her paws to hold back her laughter, shoulders quivering in helpless mirth.

**Flashback, half a century earlier:**

“Nick, I´m home!”

SLAM!

“In here, Carrots! Come look at this!”

Having properly presented her return from yet another day in precinct one and kicking the door to their home shut behind her, Chief WildeHopps follows her mates exited voice through the mayoral residence to his home office.

“I´m here Nick, now what got you in such high spirits?”

Her beloved old fox was standing in the middle of the room surrounded by a number of large covered, freestanding picture frames. His tail was wagging rapidly with excited happiness and had he been a rabbit Judy was convinced he´d be binkying right now. She found it amazing how little the years had left their mark on him, if he were to hide the grey fur on his muzzle with some fur-dye he would probably be believed if he claimed to be twenty-five.

‘Nah, that left eye of his would give him away. There isn´t a mammal in Zootopia who doesn´t know their mayor from _that!_ ’

Nicks left eye was not so much an eye as a small camera mounted in his skull, miraculously the only cybernetic the fox had needed in spite of a long, dangerous police career. It had taken him _months_ to teach himself to see out of it, eyes were just hard that way. It was a feature of his face that had actually served him well in his campaign for mayor, his appearance instantly recognisable with his one green natural eye and one artificial, red-glowing one. The younger generation loved it, he was clearly the coolest mayor ever. (The red light was not a strictly necessary function, no matter how much the fox insisted it was so, but rather just an optional extra for appearance sake. His wife had rolled her eyes **_hard_** when she learned about that.)

“The plans for rebuilding the part of Zootopia that were lost in the fire are finalized at last! These here… ” The fox places his paw on the covering on one of the stands… “…are an artist’s rendition of how it´ll look. Voilá!” So saying, he yanks the covering off in a classic magician´s reveal.

“So, what do you think?”

Under her fox´s expectant watch the doe takes a close gander of the now visible street view. It depicts two rows of buildings with strange hanging railcars in two lines between them. The houses are in seemingly random shades of pastel colours and shaped in smooth curves and organic lines. It seems like a very friendly place, nice and soft and so very, very…

The rabbit tilts her head like a curious canine, or perhaps rather a vulpine. So many years married to a fox has left its mark.

… _familiar._

‘Okay, what’s up with this feeling of _déjà vu_ , it’s not like I´ve ever seen something like thi…’

Suddenly her eyes snaps open, her mouth forming an ‘O’, and then…

“Snrrk… hehe… pffft… hehehhahahahHAHAHAHAHHAAAHAHHAHHHHAAHAHAAAHHAHAHHHHAA!”

…she is overcome with such hilarity that she ends up performing a good old fashioned ROFL.

Nick is understandably shocked at first, but as his bunny seems intent on staying on the floor for the foreseeable future he soon switches to annoyance. Arms crossed, tail stiff and ears back. And of course, right foot tapping a staccato on the floor. So many years married to a rabbit has left its mark.

“What´s so funny, bunny? You know how long I´ve worked on this, and… _will you quit laughing!”_

“Haahaaheee.. sorry Nick…*snort* gimme a moment… _hehehehe…_ okay I´m good now.”

“…”

“ … _funnybunny_ *snort* ”… _hihehe_..”

“…”

“Okay for real this time!”

Finally getting herself under nominal control and with a minimum of snickers Judy gets to her feet to face her less than happy husband.

“Explain, Carrots!”

Somewhat sheepishly, not really wanting to antagonize her mate further, Judy points to the far wall and activates a big wall-mounted screen with her built in wetware-systems.

“Let me show you, ´kay?”

With a mere thought, she connects to the houses Wi-fi and performs a picture search. Barely a second later the screen lights up with the pic she wants.

The fox´s eyes snaps open, his mouth forming an ‘O’, (many, MANY years of marriage) and then his snout rapidly tracks several times between his picture and the one Judy brought up. Same colour palette, same organic lines, same friendly feeling, less high-tech for sure, but…

Poor fox can only stare at his grinning mate in silent wonder.

“Congratulations, Mayor WildeHopps! Thanks to you, Zootopia will soon, _finally,_ start catching up to us _truly_ civilized mammals! BWAAAHAAAHAAAHAAA!!!”

…aaand she´s off again.

An exasperated fox looks down on his literary floored wife and then up on his big office screen with a tired sigh. He can´t help but read the terrible caption on the bottom again, just to make sure;

Nope, still reads: **Zoogle street view: MAIN STREET, BUNNYBURROW.**

**Flashback end.**

Softly cackling to herself, Judy continues on her way in far higher spirits.

‘Of course, when he got asked on that talk show about the resemblance of New Town and Bunnyburrow he put his paws under his chin, gave them his best puppy eyes and implied it was all for _me!_ Everyone went “ _Daaawww”_ and he climbed two percentage points in the popularity ratings! Damn tricky foxes!’

Thwip!

Ka-klunk!

…vrrrrrt.

“YAAHOOO!”

It’s a good thing Judy’s heart is a bit more durable than mere flesh and muscle, or the sudden shout could have given the distracted old doe problems. As it is, she leaps a good two foot straight off the street in shock.

‘WHAT IN TARNATION…oh…’

Realizing she has reached the edge of New Town and is just passing a small school, she spots the source of her scare; As young mammals of all types are leaving for the day by whatever means, be it walking, cycling, skateboarding or other, some are using the unique for New Town transportation: the pogo-ped. The vehicle in itself was deceptively simple as it looks like little more than a futuristic hockey-stick with a large bulb on the top. It was never-the-less a combination of very advanced technologies that allowed it to work at all. First, you needed a device, like a smartphone, to connect to the pogo-ped and input your destination. Secondly, you required a pair of nano-fibre pants, so that when you pressed the angled part of the stick to the outside of your thigh it would adhere firmly and cause the pants to stiffen and form a seat. Thirdly, the shaft of the stick was just a tubular housing for a singular strand of hyper-elastic, artificial muscle fibre. Fourthly, the ‘knob’ was a compact wheel-assembly with a track-sensor. Lastly, and most importantly, you had to have access to New Towns special up-side-down monorail.

No matter how complicated it sounds, using it was kits-play.

  1. Connect to the pogo-ped by Wi-fi and input your destination. You can have any number of pre-planned destinations saved in it like contacts in a phone.
  2. Press the stick against your leg until it confirms a solid connection, or it will not activate.
  3. Stand under the monorail and slowly sweep the stick past it. When the rail-sensor picks up that the stick is pointed directly at the rail the artificial muscle will automatically extend and launch the wheel-assembly up into it, locking in place. It will then immediately take off down the track as the muscle contracts, lifting its user up and away.



That _up and away_ -part was always exhilarating, which naturally made the whole thing a hit with the youngsters. The fact that a kit hanging alone so far up was pretty much untouchable to any ne’er-do-wells that might assail them on their way to and from school, made the pogo-ped a most attractive gift from many a worried parent. The completely unobstructed view from so high up also made it a smash hit amongst the more adventurous tourists. The monorail was rapidly spreading across the rest of Zootopia and Judy herself could not wait to see the old ground-bound cars go the way of the dinosaur.

‘ _Parking duty go bye-bye!’_

Not that such a thing as parking-duty had worried her in many a year, it had been something that she had inflicted on others for the longest time, but still! Then again, she was partial to the pogo-ped herself, using it almost daily and it had nothing to do with her late husbands’ role in its conception.

…almost nothing.

She had even convinced her cousin Hannah Leapsson to try when she had come to visit some years ago. It had not been easy, Hannah had been most reluctant, no matter how much Judy had insisted that “ _its easier then using a ski-lift”_ and “s _chool-kits use ‘em every day”_ or _“it’s perfectly safe”,_ she had not been impressed. Only when an elderly armadillo gentle-mammal had come in for a perfect landing, placed his pogo-ped on his shoulder and tipped his hat to the two cousins before slowly walking off _like a boss,_ had the visiting doe huffed a “fine!” and hefted her own stick against the rail.

The loud “WHEEEEEEE” the eighty-six-year-old doe had let out as she took off down the street had made it all worth it. Judy had teased her with that for the rest of her natural life.

All these old memories came to Judy as she stood and watched as the kids dispersed from the school.

One of the last mammals to leave was a little otter girl, pogo-ped on her right shoulder and happily chattering with a small mammal on her other shoulder. Curious, Judy used her advanced eyes to zoom in on the two and smiled. A small male vole was eagerly waving his little paws as he had a lively conversation with his otter friend/ride. It always warmed the bunny’s heart to see friends of different species getting along like that. She followed them with her eyes as the otter lined up her pogo-ped and headed for the edge of New Town where the monorail passed across an old fashioned high-way.

The two had just left the ground when disaster struck. With a loud _twang_ their upwards motion abruptly halted as most of the line hoisting them upwards suddenly snapped. They were still hanging about five feet above the street and now moving at full tilt towards heavy highway traffic. The little otter was screaming in terror while desperately jabbing the controls of her stick, to no avail. The poor vole could only hold on for dear life.

Judy was already accelerating past 40mph in hot pursuit.

‘That’s impossible! The lifting fibre is ONE fibre, it should be either whole or not! The safety systems should have shut down the pogo-ped the moment that fibre was compromised! Unless…DAMN CHEAP FOREIGN KNOCK-OFFS!!!’

The now furious rabbit reached top speed and allowed her cybernetics to do their thing. The world around her seemed to slow to a crawl as her thoughts and perception was overclocked to their limits, allowing her to assess the situation in a timely manner, pun intended. Her built in Wi-fi connected smoothly to traffic-control, letting her have complete awareness of every vehicle on the crossing highway. Her sensors calculated the speeds and positions of her, the kids and any vehicles on a collision course, and…

...and Judy WildeHopps knew _despair._

She was already at top speed, there was nothing she could do! Before she could catch up, the kids would reach the highway, the lifting fibre would hit the edge of the plexiglas safety-roof above it and snap, tossing the kids across two lanes until _that_ truck would intersect with their path at 88mph. She could see it in her mind, clear as day and calculated to within inches and milliseconds. She could do absolutely NOTHING.

**_NO._ **

Judy WildeHopps _blurred_.

The pavement under her feet rent and shattered as she retook her title as the worlds fastest mammal for about two seconds. Her legs _visibly_ _glowed_ as every component in them were stressed far passed their technical specs. Her core temperature reached decidedly unhealthy levels almost instantly as raw power was shunted through every moving part of her body. The moment she reached the end of New town she planted her feet for an instant and _jumped._ As she soared away from the half-foot-deep crater she left in the road behind her she watched the fibre break and fling the kids into highway traffic!

‘Now for the tricky part!’

Angling herself _just so_ , the old bunny reached out and wrapped herself around the little otter and the vole just as she attempted to body tackle them past their destined Death-By-Truck-Splat.

She was mostly successful.

The front corner of the truck smashed into her back as she had interposed herself between it and the little ones, sending them all spinning over the rest of the road to land in a heap on the other side. She managed to take that hit too.

Laying there, her arms wrapped around her precious ones, Judy looked up at an almost completely blue sky in a daze. For but a moment though, she had important things to do. Raising her ears and her head, she focused every sense and sensor she had on the little ones she had given everything to save.

‘Two heartbeats, fast but strong, no blood, no broken bones, a few bumps and scrapes but nothing apparently serious. Amazing, a bit worse for wear but apart from the scare of a lifetime they’ll be fine.’

The _tick-tick-tick_ of cooling metal and the fact that her left arm suddenly gave up the ghost and fell to her side finally reminded her of her own condition.

‘Okay lets see, system diagnostic, lets see… legs, total write off, so much scrap metal… power systems overloaded until fubar, only 12% functional and 0,037% energy left… sever injury to spine and left side of my back, thus no control of my left arm… and of course, the heatsinks were completely overloaded so all organic tissue left below my neck got cooked to medium rare. Even my supplementary logic processor got fried, so diagnostics can only run on backup wetware. Fantastic. My head is mostly OK and my right arm still works... mostly. Does this mean I´m done?’

As if to answer her, a notification popped up in front of her mind’s eye.

_“ALERT! ALERT! ALERT! Total systems shut down in 78 seconds! ALERT!”_

The old doe lets herself relax as a small smile graces her lips.

‘Yeah, okay. I´m done.’

“Are you okay, ma’am?”

Opening her eyes, Judy looks up into the face of a young otter and her little vole friend, still perched on her shoulder. The thought that they are alive because of her, even if she has to pay with her own life, fills her with satisfaction.

“No, little ones, I´m afraid I´m really not. But that’s okay, I´m way past my warranty anyway.”

As she speaks, she notices that quite a few other mammals have gathered around them, but completely contrary to what is normal in a situation like this they are silent and keeping at a respectful distance.

‘What’s up with that? It´s the opposite to what I´ve seen mammals do at the place of an incident, ever. Bah, don´t look a horse in the mouth when he´s giving you a gift, an all that.’

The girl is not happy with this, however. “But, aren´t you the Grand hero of Zootopia? You can´t just die! Not for us!” Her little vole friend says nothing but nods rapidly.

Realising her time is almost up, Judy decides to set this straight right now.

“Now you listen to me and you listen good, for I´m not long for this world. I am a very, very old rabbit, I´m tired and worn and almost all my friends and family are long gone. Above all my husband left me almost half a century ago and I miss him most of all. As for me not dying for you? My life, my choice. Besides, two younglings for the price of an ancient cyborg like me? Meh. It’s a steal. Now, promise me you two are gonna live your lives to the best of your abilities, be the best you can be and not cry too much for me, then I can leave this world in peace.” Steely eyed, she raises her fist. ”Promise?”

Hesitantly, the otter slowly puts her paws on Judy’s. “I… I promise.” Then, as if Judy’s determination had seeped into her by quick osmosis, her eyes sharpen and her voice gains composure. “I promise!” The young vole suddenly scampers down the girls arm and places his tiny paws on top of Judy’s fist also. His small black eyes showing nothing but determination, he speaks the first word Judy ever heard him say: “Promise!”

“Good.” The rabbit lowers her arm and smiles one last time. “Now off with you, I´m going to my well-earned rest and my mate.”

_“ALERT! ALERT! ALERT! Total systems shut down imminent! ALERT!”_

‘Finally.’

The tired old bunny reaches her paw towards the blue sky.

“I´m coming, Nick!”

-RK-

There were many cameras on site to record the last moments of Judy WildeHopps that day, they recorded her every word and her dying breath. In doing so, they created a great mystery and added to the legend of the Grand Hero of Zootopia. For you see, at the moment of her death, every mammal present staggered away from her, some shouted in surprise and many raised their paws to cover their eyes. Strangely, no camera captured anything other unusual, no sound or light of any kind.

Everyone who were present, however, would swear to their dying day that at the moment of her passing Judy WildeHopps lit up in an intense golden light for an instance, before it shot straight up into the heavens with a sound that could only be felt in your spine.

-RK-

**This is the end of the first chapter of Rabbit Karma.**

**It´s a long, rambling infodump of a chapter but it had to be done for the setup.**

**Next chapter is going to be much shorter whenever I get around to it.**

**But Judy just died, you say?**

**Next chapter: The afterlife!**


	2. The Afterlife

**A/N: In the first chapter I mentioned that it was long and rambling, but I realised after the fact that it had to be since much of it is given to us from Judy’s point of view. She’s old enough to be a little dotty and she has had a long and exhausting day, thank you very much!**

**Being a spinmystro FTW.**

**Rabbit Karma chapter 2.**

The Keeper of Souls resided for the moment in the Garden of Souls, where new souls are born and old souls return to when they die.

Somewhat unexpectedly considering her title this was unusual for her, as she normally seldom left her own domain.

Today she had suddenly felt compelled to come here, for some reason.

A reason she did not know.

This bothered her.

It was her nature to know such things.

About everyone.

Everywhere.

_All the time._

Her, the second most orderliest of the beings of Order there was, and suddenly she was acting out of some kind of… of… what?

Intuition?

Hunch?

Instinct?

Gut reaction?

Sixth sense?

She had no guts and far more than merely six senses, it was antithesis to her to not know why and yet here she was.

_And she still did not know WHY._

Was it mentioned this bothered her?

She hadn’t come here for an _exemplar,_ had she? No no, that couldn’t be it. She was a zoothropological manifestation of a basic concept of order, damn it! This kind of existential uncertainty were for mortals, not the likes of her!

Trying to make sense of it she had thoroughly searched the garden and inspected all the souls, but they were behaving just as usual and nothing seemed out of place. Still, she had a lingering feeling that something was wrong, that something had disturbed the very tapestry of existence.

As she was taking a closer look at a small cluster of souls, the tiny pinpricks of light that they were in this realm, something changed. The entire garden was suddenly lit up with a golden light and a strangely _heavy_ feeling filled it. Surprised like never before, the keeper spun and looked at the Source, the great crystal tree that was the birthplace of new souls.

Had something new and amazing been unexpectedly spawned, perchance?

She realized immediately that she had guessed wrong, this was nothing new. No, this was something old. A single soul hung high over the Source, _heavy_ with the experience of many years and shining like a miniature sun. This was unprecedented. Sure, some souls were brighter than others, but never like this. Normally a soul had all the candlepower of an overzealous firefly, but this one shone like a military grade searchlight in comparison.

Like a cloud of overly clever moths all the souls in the garden seemed to gravitate towards the light but stop at a certain distance, as if afraid to be burned, forming a halo around the newcomer.

Fascinated, the Keeper of Souls stepped forth into the halo to have a closer look. She got the distinct impression that this soul was searching for something, thus why it was floating so high up as if to have a better view range. 

When the keeper stepped forward and held out her hoof, however, the soul seemed content to come down and settle just above it.

Getting the closer look she was after, the keeper got a distinct feeling of familiarity. She had seen this mortal soul before. The fact that it shone brighter than any soul should threw her off, however.

Thinking that a more direct approach might bring better results, she posed a question.

“So, what are you searching for, my dear?”

//Mate.//

Having expected a vague feeling of some kind or some other small sign as was normal for disembodied souls, she twitched in wide-eyed shock at the firm answer. While it wasn’t spoken as such, the meaning was unequivocal and unmistakable.

Quickly composing herself, she decided this was still insufficient data.

“Well, aren’t you an articulate little one? I’m afraid I’m going to need a bit more than that to help you though.”

//MATE! //

This time it felt as if her ears should flap like flags in a stiff wind from the force of the answer. However, with it came the description of this ‘mate’, a feeling of all that made him, him. The feeling described a soul she recognised, and with that she realized to whom she was speaking.

She remembered; the last time the soul of ‘mate’ had returned to the garden he had made a bit of a nuisance of himself. Not in a big way, but enough that her friends and colleges that had passed through the garden had seen fit to comment. Apparently, when he had returned he had waited; as in, appeared and not moved an inch. Ever. He just hung there, not flinching or blinking or anything, still like a led light in a light fixture. ‘As if he were trying to put the very North Star itself to shame for being so flighty and impermanent’, as one had put it. Normally souls are never still for long, always moving and flashing and fluttering about, so this behaviour stood out like a middle-aged streetwalker at a Nobel-price dinner.

It had gotten to the point that she had gone herself to take care of it in her capacity as Keeper of Souls. She was pretty sure what he was waiting for and she knew how long he would have to wait; There were better uses of that time than trying to out-do fixed stellar constellations, so she had sent him on a short trip. He would be back in plenty of time to meet up with the one he was waiting for.

Or so she had known.

Apparently her knowledge was flawed, another thing she was unused to. Another thing that went contrary to her nature.

What now? If all had gone as it should, ‘mate’ would have been back here within six to eight months and this oh so bright soul should not have returned for at least another four years, easily allowing them to reunite right here.

This was clearly what had gone wrong that had so irked her all day, somehow this soul had ended it’s mortal life far earlier then planed in some way. Not that such things were unheard of, mortals had free will as a matter of course, but there were normally patterns to their existence that they should not go beyond. Dying almost five years before her allotted time was a real doozy.

It should be understood that to the keeper and her ilk predetermination and free will were not in any way mutually exclusive but rather intimately interlinked, seeing as their understanding of reality were so far above mere mortals that it was laughable.

Giving her confusion a swift kick out of her mind, the keeper decided to handle the situation at hoof and then seek assistance from the others of her kind. This whole thing warranted a close investigation in her honest opinion.

Trying to be as gentle as possible, she leaned in towards the soul and spoke softly to it. “I’m sorry, dear, but you will have to be patient for a while. Your bonded is doing a stint of soul-cleansing at the moment and won’t be here for at least half a year. Just wait and he’ll be with you again, you’ll see. “

Her words did not have the desired effect; Disembodied souls may be the essence of sentient beings but without a brain to think with they should really only be able to express the most basic of feelings and desires. In the same way as telling a hungry toddler to be patient while their food is warming up is unlikely to silence a tantrum, even such an unusually verbose soul as this one was basically incapable of understanding such a nebulous concept as the passing of time. Like a toddler it came down to _have need now_ and _want now_.

All that was clear to this poor lonely soul was that it had been denied. It tried again.

//... mate? //

The request, previously so forceful, was now the equivalent of a pleading whisper. The keeper couldn’t help but feel it tugging at her heartstrings, especially as it should have already been granted if not for some strange circumstance beyond even her ken.

With a heavy sigh, she attempted to explain again. “I know it’s not what you want, but he simply isn’t here and there really isn’t anything I can do. I’m sorry. “

The bright soul seemed to still for a moment, then it flickered. And then, it began to quiver and flash more and more violently.

//... _paindespairsorrowpaindespairsorrowPAINdespairSORROWPÅ1NdEsPAiRZoRr0WpainpainPAINPAINPAINpA1nPÄJNnonononononoNoNoNoNoNoNONONON0N00N000 **NoNoNoNONONON0000...//**_

It went down hill from there.

-RK-

Judy Hopps had always been a pioneer. First rabbit police officer, longest serving chief of ZPD, first fully functional cyborg, first rabbit in recorded history to officially marry a fox. She had never let anything stop her from something that was important to her. She had always found a way.

So, when she found herself without a respiratory system and an irresistible need to vocally and loudly express her feelings, she... continued apace.

She did so by the very first ever incident of a horrible phenomenon;

**Soulscream.**

-RK –

The Keeper of souls, one of the seven primordial beings of order, found that her day had filled with chaos. It did not sit well with her. At all.

The latest expression of chaos was a sudden view of the sky of the astral plane ringed by the worried faces of her fellow beings of order and chaos. And again she had no idea _why._ That was becoming a worryingly regular occurrence. She closed her eyes in annoyance.

“Are you okay?”

A male voice, other than that she was loath to say which of her fellows who had spoken. Just great, another thing she didn’t know.

‘ _No, bugger that with a thirty-foot pole, I AM going to figure out how I ended up like this. Screw this not knowing stuff, I refuse to do it anymore! ‘_

Focusing her mind, she forced her memories of the last five minutes to stand at attention in neat lines, ready for inspection.

‘ _Okay, I had just told the bright soul that I couldn’t produce her mate due to exceptional circumstances, at which point it seemed to go unstable and expressed great sadness. Then it kind of... imploded? It’s happy golden glow seemingly inverted into an explosion of pure dark despair. Was sent rag dolling across the garden. Last thing I remember before a period of blackness is seeing all the other souls scattering to the four winds. Annoyingly incomplete. Need more data. ‘_

Having unknowingly channelled a certain Salarian doctor, she raised her hoof and demanded: “Help me up.”

Sharing a few nervous glances, the two largest of her colleges stepped forward to help heave her onto her feet; Slightly unsteady she immediately took a good look around.

‘ _Eleven of them are here, plus me makes twelve, which two are missing? Let´s see, oh it’s those two? Curious that, didn´t think anything would keep HER from something like this, and were one goes the other normally follows, need to ask later. Hmm, that soul is still here, still looking like a small black hole of misery but apparently isolated in some kind of bubble. Good that, it seems to have scared off all other souls, I can´t see a single one in the whole garden. Now, to questions!’_

Having done her best to regain her equilibrium, she began her search for knowledge. “Can I surmise that the barrier around that black soul is the work of one of you?”

“No, it is in fact the work of ALL of us, we had to pool our combined skills to supress that thing, your saying it´s a soul? Peculiar, even all together we just barely managed to contain it.” The one who had chosen to speak for the group of astral beings appeared as a stately equine, a good choice of speaker since he was one of the most cerebral of the bunch. “Anyway, MOST of us…” Here he gave the stink- eye to his most fiery brother who looked a bit sheepish. “… deemed it unwise to do anything more drastic than to contain the situation until we could speak to you, seeing as you were on the scene already. Yes indeed, MOST OF US did not think that ‘BURN IT WITH FIRE!’ was a good alternative to handling a completely unknown phenomenon of unknown but _obviously great power_!” Another stink-eye, answered with a roll of fiery orbs and a circular flaming paw-wave.

Ignoring the by-play as inconsequential, the keeper was pleased. “Yes, wise of you, and most prudent. I believe that we will be able to handle this situation in a timely manner if one of our missing members were to assist. Now, where are…”

That was as far as she got before a series of rapid paw-falls and a sudden small dust cloud announced the arrival of one of their two missing members. “WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?” And boy was she agitated; ears back and tail stiff, the long-tailed canine that had just rushed in did not look to be in a mood to screw around.

Of course, there is always one asshole who just have to yank your chain at the most inopportune of times; In this case a large spotted predator with an inclination for mayhem. “Oh you know, just handling a little problem. Speaking of, where is _your_ little problem? I would never have believed that your better, or maybe worse, half would miss out on this kind of action?”

The newcomer answered the smirk of her antagonist with a snarl. “My _mate_ is currently resting in our home! At her very core she is _unexpected joy._ That aura of _certain despair_ that washed over this plane earlier is _anathema_ to her existence! I got to watch helplessly as she whimpered and almost _faded away before my eyes_!”

The pain in her voice caused a heavy silence to fall over the garden. The spotted one who had messed with her even lowered his muzzle in slight shame, most unusual for him.

The keeper quickly decided that this was no time for drama; Now was the time for getting down to business. “In that case I assume you will want this situation dealt with post haste. The cause of your other half´s condition is contained but not resolved, I believe you can help with that.”

Worried and confused, the newcomer expressed her doubts. “Me? Why, and _how,_ do you think I can be of help with _that?”_ So saying she waved her tail in the average direction of the containment field, where the black souls pained miasma could still be felt ever so slightly straight through it´s prison.

The answer was short. ”Because the source of this despair is the soul of your exemplar.”

“WHAT!!!”

The shout came as a simultaneous reaction from everyone present bar the keeper. The long-tailed canine felt this needed more details. “Are you sure? And _how_ can a mere mortal soul do this, exemplar or not? Nothing I´ve ever heard of suggests that a mortal could ever gain such power.”

The keeper lifted her hoof towards to core of the problem. “You tell me? Have a better look and see what you can make of it.” Still not entirely convinced but ready to do anything for her mate, the canine stepped forward to do just that.

Getting closer to her supposed exemplar her worry raised, she could begin to recognise this soul as her exemplar, even if only because she had already been told so. Sticking her head as close as she dared, she began to try to make sense of what was going on. It only took her moments to figure it out, her eyes going large in shock, only to be instantly reduced to slits. Growling lowly, her long tail came up to sweep across and around the soul, the very air around it coming alight with glowing archaic runes and symbol. These symbols then coalesced into a sort of free-floating document that she proceeded to study intently. After but a few moments of careful consideration, she turned to the waiting group and spoke. “Short of a few details I believe I understand what has happened now. But to get to the heart of the matter, this dark miasma of despair she is exuding is basically her karma.”

Confused mutterings and a question from the keeper was the response she got. “Her karma? Are sure? No, forget I asked, silly me.” A single pointed look made the keeper back pedal.” Of course you know that, but how can it behave this way? “

In answer the canine used some of her Power to enlarge the data she had gathered from the trapped soul into a big, white screen in mid-air. Sitting down primly in front she used her long tail to Point to it and with an air of a teacher began her Presentation, indicating each relevant part in order. “This is a karmic reading of the life of my exemplar. As all kits, it starts off with some ups and downs until she properly learned right from wrong and matured enough to be responsible for her actions. Then her karma starts improving rapidly until _here, (taps tail to relevant information)_ where she gave that damned press-conference. That was literally the worst thing she ever did, there were a few things that could be considered questionable in the chaos with the Night Howlers, but she always learned from her mistakes and more importantly, she always owned them. For the rest of her life, she did her damndest to do the right thing, even when she had to make the hard choices of a leader. She might have sometimes gotten too absorbed in her work and thus neglected time with friends and family, or she might have ‘borrowed’ a few doughnuts from that big cheetah, but at the day of her death her total karmic balance was in the top ten of any mortal who have ever lived. This is, paradoxically, part of the problem. “

As she silenced for a short breather, a confused mumbling arose from her audience. A long-legged feline felt this was taking to long; “That doesn’t make any sense! How can it be a bad thing to have great karma? “

“Yes, normally you’d be right, but she somehow managed to save two innocent lives at the cost of her own. Let me repeat that, she _willingly paid the ultimate price_ and _sacrificed her own life_ in some way to save the lives of _two innocent young ones!_ Important distinction, she didn’t just _risk_ her life, but truly _sacrificed_ it. No, don’t ask me how, that will need further investigation. Anyway, that increased her karma to a whole new level, above anyone ever before. Now this is where it gets tricky, you know how stars are born? A ball of gas accumulates, until it gets big enough to collapse in on itself and ignite under its own gravity. At that point her karma was dense enough to be on the ragged edge of collapse, and then there was a problem. She saw a pair of little ones suffering from survivors’ guilt, so she used her _dying breath_ to _absolve them_ of that guilt and then _set them upon the best possible path their young lives could take! IGNITION!! “_

Panting slightly after her impassioned speech, her peers appear to be struck speechless. The keeper is the first to regain her wits. “Well, that certainly explains my observations of her when she returned to the Source, but not how she turned dark or how she gave up the time she had left in the mortal realm in defiance of her path. “

The equine took up the thread this time. “Well, we were waiting for you to tell us what happened before the rest of us arrived, now seems to be the time. “

Nodding, she agreed. “Agreed.” Like that. “I had a most vexing feeling earlier that drove me to come here.” Many looks of disbelief were shared that collectively said ‘ _a feeling? You? Really?_ She felt her fellows were quite vexing in their own right, at the moment. “Yes really, thus, vexing. Anywho, when our little exemplar arrived at the Source she was indeed glowing like a new born star... “ Cue recap of her interaction with soul-Judy.

When she was done, the youngest-seeming participant raised his hoof for a question. “Question?“ Like that. “You kinda sorta implied that her mate should have been here already? Why isn’t he?” The keeper felt a small jolt of happiness, finally something she knew for certain! Feeling her world start to return to an even keel, she started in on her area of expertise, the predetermined paths of mortal souls. “Correct, he should have been here to meet her at her passing. Now, I am sure many of you will remember how he was waiting for her, well it seemed unsatisfactory to just leave him like that since I knew how long that would be. Thus, I decided to send him for a short stint to one of the side branches of creation to atone for some of the things he did in his last life, you all know he had a troubled youth. Its not a very nice place, his current path should have him back here well within the year.” The canine nodded emphatically at this, balancing your scales were all to the good in her book. “Everything was on track for their reunion until _this one...”_ Points to Judy. “... Somehow breaks free from her path and comes back here _at least_ three years too early.”

A small long-eared female was next to take her turn. “So what drew you here was most likely her defying you, then?” The keeper squinted her eyes and thought hard. “The feeling I got was most likely the tapestry being disturbed, yes. But more like she defied my basic nature, you very well know I have no say over the life paths of mortals. I only watch and see to it they follow them.”

Their canine friend, who had been patiently sitting by her presentation, decided it was time to get to the heart of the matter. “That’s good, but let’s get to the heart of the matter.” Like that. “How did my exemplar do it? My dear Keeper of Souls, I think this is right up your alley. Show us the last few minutes of her life.” Having just stated that fact herself, the keeper thought nothing of stepping up beside her canine friend to open a large astral window for all to see a repeat of the death of the Grand Hero.

Several ‘ohh’s and ‘ahh’s, even a spontaneous applaud from the larger of the two present felines when he saw Judy run, culminating with a few sniffles at the end was the response to the showing. The smallest of the audience had watched carefully though. “Hey, show me the part where she got that speed boost again, I have an idea.” Curious, she did as asked, and then turned to the previous speaker for an answer. “Yes, yes, I´m sure I know what happened now, but before that, can you tell us what she _should_ have done?”

A peculiar request, but the keeper scrounged up her face to try to see into the possibilities. “I… see only three roads this could have possibly taken. From worst to best, she could have patched in to the monorail to engage an emergency stop on the whole system, but then the pogo-ped would have come to a sudden stop, snapping the lifting-fibre and sending the kits flying in an arc…” She shuddered at the grief Judy would have suffered for such a screw-up. “No, that would not have ended well, for anyone. Second, she could have kept running and failed to catch up. She would have grieved for her failure but accepted it, se la vie. Lastly, the best option, she could have used the big medallion in her pocket like a shuriken to break the fibre, the kits would then have fallen much faster and hit the wall separating the highway from New Town. They would have been hurt, the vole seriously, but they would have lived.” She gave the small being a sharp look. “Now please tell me how she managed to kill herself but save the kits.”

He answered with a smile. “Just as you just amply demonstrated your speciality, her cybernetics falls within _mine._ So, I can tell you with certainty that what she did; overloading her power distribution and energy core, overclocking her nervous-system and bosting her legs until they were turned to _slag;_ all this far beyond any technical specifications to the point most of her remaining organic parts were all but roasted _, its impossible!_ Her systems simply didn´t have any such functions, it would have been like trying to play a CD on an old gramophone; NOT! HAPPENING!” He was really getting into it now, gesticulating wildly with his small paws. “All this only leads to one conclusion: It´s a MIRACLE!”

Shocked silence. Many of the present felt this day was having a little too many shocking revelations. 

Not everyone bought it though. “Okay, I call bullshit on that one, mortals can´t cause miracles! And if they did, what kind of miracle causes the user to die?” This time, the talker was a black furred ursine. This latest revelation beggared belief, to his mind. Others, though…

“Yes, that makes perfect sense.” It was the wolf-like being, again. At the doubtful looks she got, she scoffed. “What? I told you she _sacrificed_ herself, but now that I know what to look for, I see she didn´t so much sacrifice her life but instead her _life-time,_ all she had left bar about two minutes. I postulate it was her already exceptional karma that allowed it; she concentrated almost her entire existence to a single point and _denied_ any other outcome than her saving those kits. So in short, she caused a small break in the fabric of reality to let her perform something miraculous; she isn´t a higher being like us though, so it cost her dearly.”

With a somewhat careful smile, the smaller of the two present felines made himself heard. “You are certainly on the ball today, my friend! Do you perhaps also know what happened to your exemplar to make her like this?” Waving his paw in the direction of the still pitch-black soul of Judy.

“I do.” The looks she got, _again_ , made her hurry to explain. “No really, it´s called karmic inversion, it can happen to exceptionally deserving individuals that are denied something that was clearly theirs! It´s rare but not in any way unique, her, ahh, _extreme_ karmic state just exacerbated the problem.”

“Then you know how to handle her? I´m assuming just leaving her in that containment field is not an option.” The keeper felt they were truly making progress here.

The answer was decidedly flat. “No. No, we can´t. According to my calculations, she will stay in her current state in excess of twelve thousand years if we do not interfere. And seeing _that,_ I do not feel non-interference to be the wisest choice.” She pointed her tail at the containment field. It was visibly deteriorating, blemishes and cracks all over it. And worse, the closest branch of the Source-tree had wilted ever-so-slightly.

“Shit.” The keeper’s response was succinct if out of character.

“Quite so. No, the only way to get her back to normal… -ish is to give her her due, her mate as it were.”

“This is bad, we can´t interfere on the mortal plane so he will be here in six months at the earliest, and we can´t possibly reincarnate her in a branch of atonement, not with her karma!“ The tallest being of them all felt they had reached an impasse. “Normal- _ish_ , by the way?” But she was not about to let that deprive her of knowing things. Not today.

“Yes, even if we get her back to the state she arrived here in, we still have to address her karma; if she were to go back to the mortal realm as is, she would be a demi-goddess that subconsciously imposed her will on everything around her, she just wouldn´t be a _dark_ demi-goddess. You all saw how mammals behaved at her death, all still and quiet? She subconsciously wanted her passing to be dignified, so that was what she got. And that was before her _ignition._ No mortal should have such power.”

The smaller feline piped up again. “Can we expect you to be on the ball on this too, maybe?”

“Why, certainly. We bless her.” Those looks, _again!_ “Oh come on! Good karma means good things come your way, thus diminishing it! Being blessed by a higher being is about as good as good gets! This is NOT rocket-science, people!” A short, thoughtful paus. “A sevenfold blessing should reduce her to merely a bit above average karma, I believe.”

They all felt a bit silly, in hindsight it really was quite simple. The keeper saw the problem, though. “That is all fine and dandy, then. Unfortunately, we still can´t get her to her mate. I mean, there is already a soul living out the life of ‘Judy Hopps’ in that reality. Look.” With that, she changed the astral window to show a grey bunny.

A bunny in a bathtub.

A naked bunny.

Not that anyone noticed, they were all too preoccupied with her chosen bath accessories; a big bottle of strong sedatives, clearly meant for a bigger mammal and an exacto-knife. Any mammal taking a bath at two in the morning with such things could only have one plan. Her eyes looked dead already.

The keeper found herself the centre of attention yet again. Everyone was looking expectantly at her. She sighed, closed her eyes and concentrated. “Unfortunately, it seems like the current soul in that body has made a decision. The possibilities have already collapsed to a certainty and she will be here in less than six minutes.”

At that moment, they all shared a single, more than slightly ghoulish thought:

‘Chance!’

The long-tailed wolf-like being took command immediately, this was _her_ exemplar after all.

“You!” Pointing at the keeper. “Get a connection to that body open and make sure it´s in prime condition, as soon as the current occupant vacates it we will have a new one lined up! You!” Pointing to their calmest and fluffiest member. “Help me keep Judy calm while I prep her for her new home! The rest of you, I want seven of you ready with a blessing on the double! GO!”

They scrambled, and soon a slowly changing soul was carefully guided towards her new life and her mate; the mere understanding that she was on her way to _him_ caused the despair-aura to recede and glimpses of gold to shine through. Just in time too, the containment had mostly given up the ghost already. A flick of a long tail reduced it to dust.

As they approached the Keeper of souls, the smallest and the biggest of them stepped forward for their blessing. “We decided to do this together, it seemed appropriate.” The small one said.

With a nod the bigger one began and raised his massive hoof over the quickly brightening soul. “Judy WildHopps, you have always impressed me with your strength, mental and physical. I fear you shall need all you can have were you are going. So, even though you shall remain flesh and blood, I grant you all the strength, stamina, resilience and everything else that your former body gave you. **THIS IS MY BLESSING TO YOU.”** A flash, and it was done. The enormous being left his spot for his small companion. “Judy WildeHopps, you have chosen a difficult path for such a small mammal. In that, I feel for you, and grant you my boon; no matter what, you shall never lack the tools of your chosen trade, and they will be the finest! **THIS IS MY BLESSING TO YOU.”** Another flash.

The next pair was the felines of the group. Bigger before smaller seemed to be the pattern again.

“Judy WildHopps, you have impressed me, simple as that. If you run away, you will not be caught! If you give chase, they will not get away! **THIS IS MY BLESSING TO YOU.”** Flash.

“Judy WildHopps, you have a tendency to leap before you look, even if only in defence of the innocent in your later years. I don´t think you´ll stop, so I´ll help you with that. **THIS IS MY BLESSING TO YOU.”** Flash. Judy was starting to look a bit less glowy by now.

The larger feline was a bit miffed with his fellow cat, though. “Mysterious, much?”

*Sheshire smile* “A bit, yes. But I have my reasons, you will see. It´ll be a surprise.”

For some reason, the next two had also paired up, but a strange pair this time. The two largest predators, the bear and the big smiling one. Not that he was smiling now for some reason.

Noting the sceptical look he got from the chosen soul-bringers, he felt compelled to explain. “Yes, _me!_ Have you seen where she is going? That is what too much order can do to a place, she is going to need all the chaos she can get over there! Ugh, you order guys…”

Another shocking statement on a day shock full of them. Of course no one could help but see for themselves if this could possibly be true. They had all shared a belief that order was good and chaos was... less good. To be told that order could be less good as well, that demanded a follow up. Even a quick look through the astral window showed that yes, an order that is uncaring and cruel, upheld with pain and fear only for the sake of the higher ups, can indeed be straight up bad. This revelation might have far reaching consequences for them all at a later date. But not today.

Today a canine with a long tail humbly bent her head and allowed her exemplar to be blessed.

The bear began, according to the established pattern.

“Judy WildeHopps, you have never feared going against the grain. When you felt it necessary you would defy tradition and society for the right of all. Where you are going next, that is far more dangerous. Henceforth, you will slip past such patterns and be unseen by their enforcers. **THIS IS MY BLESSING TO YOU.”** Flash. Next.

“Judy WildeHopps, you’ve caught much flak for being what you are and for what you are not, as well as what you want to be. Where you’re headed it will be so much worse. From here on, let your detractors know confusion and indecision, and let the doubters stand in bewildered awe! **THIS IS MY BLESSING TO YOU! “ Flash!** That one had some real _omph_ to it.

By now, the keeper was waving, indicating a single newly arrived soul by her side. Their window of opportunity was closing, they had a minute more, tops!

“OKAY, WE NEED ONE MORE BLESSING ASAP! WHO’S UP? “

“Me.”

“Wait, you? Really? I mean, uh, really? You know what, fuck it, no time! Bless away! “

And so the seventh stepped forth. “Judy, **YOU HAVE MY BLESSING. “** Flash. And it was done.

With that the wolfish one all but tossed a now normal looking Judy-soul to the keeper, who didn’t really need to do much as the speeding soul raced up her neck to shot away from her horns like a tiny inversed shooting star.

Off to her new life.

-RK –

In a cozy little nest, a multi-coloured lapin rests.

“Feeling better, my love?”

Only to be disturbed by a wolf like entity hovering over her.

“Yeah, much better now. I think I’ll be up and about in a few days. Did ya find out what that awful whatever-it-was was? It luckily diminished to almost nothing pretty quick and disappeared completely a little while ago. “

With a perfectly straight face the larger of them answered.

“Yes, it appears the source was my exemplar, returning to the Garden of Souls.”

“What?”

“But don’t worry, we all pitched in to ensure she wouldn’t become a fully realised dark demi-goddess and sent her off to a reality meant for atonement. “

“Whut.”

“Indeed, you have nothing to fear. We all also learned today that Order can be even more bad than Chaos can ever hope to be.”

“...”

Looking up into the eyes of her beloved mate, the bunny raised one finger indicating her one question. “One query.” Like th... or not.

Feeling a sudden inexplicable desire to smirk, she asks her mate: “Are you having me on right now? “

She is the most chaos-y being in existence, you try to anticipate her!

“Every word I just said was the truth.”

“I feel like something got lost in the retelling, why don’t you make me company and tell it from the start. “

Now openly smirking, the larger of the two wraps her mate in her tail and stretches out beside her.

“Very well, it all started when... “

Letting her beloveds words wash over her the rabbit cuddles up as close as possible.

All is right in her world.

-RK –

**End of chapter 2**

**If you are confused you need to read ‘The Celestials’ by VariableMammal.**

**All credit for the creation of most of the characters in this chapter bar Judy goes to him as well. I PM:ed him to ask for permission to borrow his mammals but no joy, he hasn’t been active on ffn or here since May last year so I might have to ask for forgiveness instead if he doesn’t like what I have done. The Celestials have done their part and are unlikely to appear any more except for a quick cameo. Help me out by reading his works and favourite a few.**

**Now the setup is finished and we can finally get to the meat of the story in chapter 3: Judy’s new life. (chapter name is liable to change on the authors discretion.)**


	3. Judy´s new life.

**A/N: … … Nope can´t think of anything, on to the story.**

**Rabbit Karma chapter 3.**

With a startled gasp and a splash, Judy began her new life by flailing her limbs in the air in panic.

Coughing up some water, she quickly calmed down when she decided that the luke-warm water she was sitting in was not nearly deep enough to drown her. She was very confused, though. Where was she? This looked like some dirty and worn public bath. Hadn´t she died? She could clearly remember her body shutting down after she rescued those kits. This couldn´t possibly be heaven, but it was far too low-key to be any kind of hell.

Focusing herself, she let all her senses go to town on her surroundings, but didn´t really learn anything that wasn´t readily apparent. She was alone, this room was exactly as it seemed and there was no surveillance-equipment in range. She did hear other mammals of small to medium size in the building, but according to all but two, their heartrates and breathing indicated deep sleep. The exceptions seemed to be in close proximity with each other and their heavy breaths and elevated heartrates indicated some form of hard exertion. Oh. Never mind. Despite her age, she lowered her head in embarrassment. Her shock when her eyes fell on her paws made her focus in on herself, instead.

Her fur was grey.

A dark, rich silvery grey where last she looked it had been an almost translucent white from age. And her limbs were completely covered in it.

Where was the metal, the polymers and the hyper-strong alloys covering synthetic nano-fibres?

_‘Well I guess someone got a hold of my body before I suffered brain-death and either built or cloned me a new body. This could be a safe house they dumped me in then. Did they at least leave any messages in that case?’_

With a fleeting thought that a cloned body might not have one, she attempted to activate her inbuilt in box. To her relief she found that, yes, she still had one. It contained a single priority message, the header read ‘listen to this’ and had an attached audio-file.

Curious, she felt it best to do as instructed. When she opened the file, her head seemed to fill with a powerful but pleasant female voice.

**“Hello Judy, I am your spirit-guide of a sort. First off, before you get any silly ideas, yes you died. Died all the way, and your soul passed on to the astral plane. The problem with that is that it was your fate to live another few years before you were reunited with your soulmate. In this life and the next, I believe you promised each other. Well, he is serving a short stint in a branch reality meant for atonement, because of some indiscretions in his youth that tarnished his karma. With you pulling off a small miracle to save two innocent kids, you defied your fate and arrived in the afterlife before his destined passing. So you missed each other. This created a catch 22. Your karma was beyond good after the life you lived, so you could not be reincarnated in such a harsh reality. We cannot interfere in the mortal realm, so he is beyond our reach. Worse still, your karma did not allow us to deny you your reunion either, so we were stumped for a bit. However, a closer look allowed us a bit of… serendipity, you might say.”**

Judy felt the speakers´ voice softened a bit at the last part.

**“The soul that inhabited the body and lived the life of Judy Hopps in this reality could no longer handle her deep depression and chose to end her life. We… jumped on the chance and inserted your soul into this body moments after it was deserted, thus sidestepping reincarnation. Technically, you are possessing this body, but with no other inhabitant it´s all good.”**

Judy was not at all sure how she felt about that. A bit queasy, at least.

**“Your karmic state still would not have allowed it if we had not taken drastic action. You, Judy, are blessed no less then seven times. Listen.”**

A new voice, male and brimming with power took over.

 **“Judy WildHopps, you have always impressed me with your strength** … **”**

Seven voices and seven blessings later, our intrepid rabbit felt overwhelmed… and a little annoyed.

_‘” I will help you with that.” What does he mean? Annoying! And that last one? “Judy, you have my blessing.” That’s nice and all, but in what way? Something tells me that’s not going to be explained for a long time. I hate not knowing stuff like that!’_

**“To give you a leg up as you start your new life, I have left all the memories of your body’s previous occupant in your mind for your perusal. They won´t be _your_ memories but you will have the necessary information. Also, as a small boon my college who sent you here made sure your body is as unblemished as a new-born since in this reality, you are just that. **

**I have no more to tell you, except to wish you luck and that you find your soulmate soon. I hope you feel we have done right by you in a difficult situation.**

**Farewell.”**

And then the audio-file and the message simply disappeared, as if they never existed. Judy had just enough time to goggle at that before her mind is full of a life she never lived.

For a few minutes, all she could do was sit in the cooling water of the bathtub with her head in her paws. It wasn´t painful, luckily, just overwhelming. It was at least instructive. More luck, the memories were like remembering a movie you had seen, the sensations and feelings were there but they were diluted and removed from herself. As promised, and a good thing it was, for the other soul had had ample reason to commit suicide. Judy learned something very important.

This world is horrible.

Or rather, a lot of mammals are horrible here. Little barbs were sharper, the malice came easier and corruption was rampant and ubiquitous.

Finally, the bunny gets a hold of herself and sits up. A coppery smell, far too familiar from too many crime scenes, fills her nose. The bathwater is almost solid red.

With a jolt, she… remembers a memory? Is that correct? …of downing most of a big bottle of pills and slitting her wrists open. Even done correctly, with the cuts running in the direction of her arms. A quick inspection reveals arms without a single scratch, though. She feels neither nauseated or dizzy, so no effect from either the drugs or blood loss, the latter of which she knows all too well.

_‘Let’s be safe, though. /Run complete systems diagnostic. /‘_

_//SCANNING, STAND BY… SCAN COMPLETE… NO MALFUNCTIONS FOUND… ALL SYSTEMS FUNCTIONING AT 100% CAPACITY…//_

_‘Wow, it really is as if I came fresh off the assembly line, not a mark on me! Hold on, does that mean…?’_

Overcome by curiosity, remembering how her body’s previous owner had sought solace from her loneliness and sadness in the arms of a few out-of-town bucks, never amounting to more than a one-night stand, she reaches her right paw into the water between her legs.

_‘Yep, completely new and unused. Heh, Nick is going to be so surprised!’_

With the happy thought of her mate, she hurriedly flushes the bathtub, washes the blood from her fur and cleans the “crime scene” of any traces. Not that anyone will ever know, considering the “victim” leaves in better health than she arrived, but her conscientious nature won´t let her leave anything to chance. She even dumps the pill bottle and the knife down a garbage chute on her way to her tiny apartment.

A completely different reality, a wholly different Judy Hopps, same old Pangolin arms. Just, you know, worse. She would never have believed it if she hadn´t seen it with her own eyes; incredibly, her room seemed even smaller, the floor and walls much more worn and the roof had visible water damage. This really was the shoe box Nick had accused her first flat of being. It had been acquired for the same reasons, close to the precinct and within budget.

And when her counterpart had the funds to do better, she had lacked the mental fortitude to make the change.

Judy had no plans to stay here any longer then strictly necessary, she had already made a simple plan; scout out this place to internalize her new memories, find Nick, convince him to marry her and then go from there, preferably while making the world a better place. Simple and straightforward.

For now, though, a few hours of sleep before work. She could use her resources at the precinct to get a lead on her unknowingly wayward mate. Swiftly putting away her toiletries, she then hangs up her bathrobe and turns to her small bed.

Only to jump back into a low fighting stance with a strange combination of a startled yelp and a furious hiss.

Perhaps a somewhat exaggerated response to the presence of a simple, red clock-radio.

That is, if you didn´t have Judy’s experiences with such a device. She was absolutely convinced that it´s counterpart had been either possessed or cursed, considering its uncanny ability to play the exactly wrong/right song whenever it was turned on.

In her last life, that device had been with her until shortly after Nicks passing, when Judy had used it and it played “Sea of Heartbreak”. The axe-kick that ended its days had cratered the concrete floor under the steel table it had sat on.

_‘Okay Judy, just relax, you can do this! It´s not even the same one, this one may not be cursed at all… …. …. …. Sweet cheese and crackers, it´s going to drive me up the wall if I don´t find out, isn´t it?’_

With no little amount of trepidation, she slooooowly reaches a paw out, and…

Klick.

**“Mental wounds not healing**

**Life's a bitter shame**

**I'm going off the rails on a crazy train**

**I'm going off the rails** **on a crazy train…”**

Klick.

**“Now I look and then reborn**

**Though I have just until dawn**

**I remember every face**

**Spirits show me every place…”**

Klick. 

**“Yippie-aye-ooh, yippie-aye-aee,** **Ghost riders** **in the sky…”**

Klick!

**“I'm a wandering spirit**

**I'm a wandering spirit**

**I'm a wandering spirit**

**I'm a wandering spirit, yes I am a restless soul…”**

Klick.

**“…One more time I'm waiting for the spirit of the past**

**To appear and trouble me again**

**Time goes by like a sail on the ocean**

**Sleep won't come though my eyes grow dim**

**And in the dark I see what I have seen a hundred times**

**The ghost, the ghost of might have been**

**Oh, it's you**

**You keep me hanging on**

**You're the one whose memory I see**

**Yeah you, you hang on till the dawn**

**And it's you and what we knew, that's killing me**

**The love we shared was the dream of a lifetime**

**The joy we knew, our reason to be**

**And if it's hard to live without some happiness or love**

**Worst of all is this hopeless misery…”**

Ka-lick!

_‘Nope, a bit weirder but definitely just as cursed slash possessed as last time. That last song was nice though, got to zoogle it later.’_

Putting the clock-radio in the drawer of her bed-side table for the time being she sets an alarm on her onboard systems instead and goes to bed.

-RK-

Judy opens the door to her joke of an apartment, walks listlessly to her table, sits down on her only chair, and promptly faceplants into the tabletop.

“Uuuuuurgnnnnnhhhh…”

Morlock noise?

Considering how little she had actually done today, she was strangely exhausted. She had arrived at the precinct rather early to get a feel for it, but all she had learned was that it really was just as bad as her second-hand memories had made it out to be. This world was probably Bellweathers wet dream, with all the segregation between predators and prey and all the laws against the former group. For instance, predators could not legally be officers here, amongst many things they couldn´t do. The complete absence of predators in the precinct felt wholly unnatural to Judy.

She realised later that when she entered the precinct, she had subconsciously gone into under-cover mode; be quiet, blend into the background, keep your head down and observe without being seen. Luckily for her, that apparently was superficially identical to the behaviour of a clinically depressed rabbit, so no-one noticed anything unusual.

When she got to the bullpen, no-one looked at her; no-one spoke to her; it was as if she didn´t exist. She didn´t get a case either, all she got was a stack of paperwork good for two days of work!

She had intellectually known what was coming, but seeing is believing and all that.

She took the papers to her office. The only good thing about the whole situation; she had her own private office, all to herself. No partner for her, either. She then proceeded to use her blessed advantages to their fullest to finish all the paper work in a little over an hour; not having first paw experience with all the local laws was a small speedbump when you could directly access your computer and literary _think_ your reports into existence!

She spent the rest of the day searching for info about Nick and contemplating the differences between this and her former life.

While the former had been very frustrating (only a few misdemeanours in his teens and a rapport of him being involved in some ruckus downtown and no known address) the latter was if not good, then at least interesting. Her predecessor had grown up in a Bunnyburrow that was almost exclusively rabbits, so no Gideon Grey. That apparently made her father calmer and happier, with no predators around to worry about. But it also meant no Carla, her black sheep best friend who wanted to be an astronaut, and no Bobby Catmull, her silly musician of a gay friend. She had been so very alone among all those bunnies, so her decision to be an officer was more of a cry for freedom than Judy’s wish for a better and more just world.

Nevertheless, this miss Hopps had worked just as hard as Judy had and made valedictorian in the ZPA the same way. Also, since this reality had no rules against it, she didn´t need to wait for something like Lionhearts Mammal Inclusion Initiative and could do so years before Judy had been able to.

Pre-Judy had come to precinct one just as Judy had, and while her welcome was luke-warm at best it was not like anyone disliked her. At first. She had simply been paired with an experienced officer to show her the ropes and see if the little rabbit could measure up.

Then she made her first arrest, and _politics_ happened.

It really was no big thing, pre-Judy had been walking the beat with her partner, an elderly soon-to-be-retired moose named Steve Racks, when they heard someone shouting: “STOP, THIEF!”

Seeing a small mammal run out of a small grocery store, pre-Judy had merely needed to run ten yards to intercept the shoplifter and have him in a secure hold. When the scrawny, preteen coyote had panicked and snapped his teeth at her, the reaction was identical to what she would have done if one of her little siblings had acted out bad enough and was pretty much instinctive; a sharp “No!” and a quick slap to the arm. The poor little thing had immediately gone still and been very agreeable after that.

Normally, the parents and a social worker would have met them at the station, and they would have handled it as usual with under-aged mammals, just another day. Unfortunately, the pup was an orphan, the whole thing was caught on camera, and the city´s administration needed some PR. Suddenly she was the medias darling, the brave little bunny-that-could, the poor little coyote was vilified as an example of all that was wrong with those vicious preds, and it was all _awful._

_“Isn´t she brave?”_

_“Isn´t it amazing how a cute little bunny can stand up to a filthy pred like that?”_

_“Isn´t it just swell how she put him in his place?”_

_“Shouldn´t she be rewarded with, like, a promotion for something like that?”_

_“Oh yeah! Then she could really keep those horrible beasts in their place!”_

Protests to any and all of this fell on deaf ears, she only got the equivalent of a pet on the head and a few condescending words basically saying “we-know-what-is-best-you-just-be-quiet-and-look-pretty”. Trying to explain to Chief Bogo that she didn´t feel worthy of a promotion over all her far more experienced colleges only bought her a tired sigh: “I´m sorry, Hopps, this is from far over my horns and out of my hooves. I know this is not your doing, but right now all we can do is hope it blows over and pick up the pieces after.”

 _The Mammal_ had found a use for her and cared little for her wants and wishes, it seemed.

Three weeks later when the furore finally died down her partner had retired, she was a sergeant, and all her fellow officers despised her for it. No one would work with her or even acknowledge her presence. Through no fault of her own, she had become persona non grata in the very organization she had worked so hard to join.

Worst of all, when she had contacted child services to find out what happened to the poor coyote pup, she was told that he had suffered an “unfortunate accident”. The ram she spoke to claimed he had somehow gotten up on the roof, fallen off and “broken his damn fool neck, the little beast, he won´t bother you again, ma’am.” He had _smiled!_ There had been no investigation, of course.

Present Judy so wanted to find that ram and _kick that smile down his damn fool throat!_

Pre-Judy had done her best after that. She tried so hard to live up to her new rank, to show that she was deserving. She worked harder and longer than all the other officers, she took on all the additional training available, she got accredited for all possible extra duties her rank allowed. It just didn´t work. Bogo tried, he really did, but his hooves were tied; he couldn´t force his officers to change, there are rules for what jobs he could give a sergeant, and he couldn´t send her out solo willy-nilly. There was sadly also the fear that her colleges might not respond in a timely manner if she needed backup.

She was trapped in limbo, unable to go forward and too stubborn to give up and quit.

Thus, it went for a year and a half, with the bunny falling deeper and deeper into depression until she just _couldn´t take it anymore!_

“….roognutudjuu…”

Was that French or German?

Feeling rather depressed herself at the thought of her predecessors’ fate, she tried instead to focus on what she had learned about Nick. Not that it was much; a birth certificate, name of parents, some school records, a few mentions of run-ins with the ZPD, but that was it. The only interesting fact she had found was that the local Nick was six months younger than her local self, a small detail that pleased her immensely. She wanted her fox around as long as mortally possible.

Apparently, in this Zootopia, foxes were considered out of sight, out of mind. Unless they ran afoul of the law, of course.

_“…Grooooowrrrrrrrr….”_

THAT was a growl of undiluted, if exasperated, rage.

The law and the ZPD here was a cabbage-be-damned joke! The precinct seemed to be a gathering place for the corrupt, the lazy and the incompetent. The technology they used was sub-par for what she remembered of this time, she still used a CRT-screen with the computer in her office for carrots sake! The lack of networked traffic cameras and other surveillance systems she could connect to had stymied her little foxhunt rather effectively. (It seems corrupt and totalitarian regimes can hinder both social and technical advances, who knew?)

Chief Bogo had a core of maybe a baker’s dozen of good, competent officers that did all they could, but the establishment seemed bound and determined to hobble the police at every turn. Bigoted laws impossible to really enforce, hopeless and often contradicting rules of hiring and public relations, a constant influx of less-than-stellar recruits; all these were the order of the day in the ZPD.

“…sigh…”

The worst part, the one thing that, in her mind, proved that the political leadership here was simply no good, was the collars.

The never-be-damned-enough T.A.M.E. collars.

By law, all predators age ten and up had to wear them to, quote “suppress their savage instincts and ensure that they can be productive members of society” end quote.

_‘BOLLOKS!’_

It was a torture device, pure and simple. If the wearer was anything but reasonably calm, it beeped in warning and then delivered an electric shock, and short of running out of juice would keep it up until the victim was calm, unconscious or dead. In the long run this produced a mammal that was at best controlled to an unnatural degree but more often turned into an unfeeling automaton.

Judy wanted to gather all those collars in a pile and drive them over with a steamroller.

Then douse the crushed remains in gasoline and burn them.

And dump the ashes in the deepest hole she could find, never to be seen again.

Cackling in glee all the way.

She was not entirely sure she would protest if the mammals responsible for those collars’ inception ended up in that pile, too. They surely deserved it.

“…fuuurkurluuurr..”

With a last, incomprehensible sound she straightened up and leaned her head back instead. Morbidly violent thoughts aside, had she been spoiled in her last life? Blessed with a competent ZPD at her beck and call, and direct access to the mayor himself on a daily basis?

A small devious smile spread on her face when she contemplated the citizens reaction if they knew how many of the city´s ordinances had been thought up while her and the mayor had been in ‘mandatory cuddle time’.

Snickering, she decided that while, yes, she had been a bit spoiled, that in no way excused the appalling mess that was the ZPD here. If she became chief again, she might be able to root out the worst incompetence if she had the political support necessary, but she just couldn´t see how anyone could have an effective police force without predators? If your job was to find and capture mammals, then the senses and instincts to do so was an incredible boon.

_‘Sweet cheese and crackers, how can you have a precinct without wolves?’_

_Her_ ZPD had been 20-25 percent canines, because they were simply tailor made for the job. They worked well in a team under a top-down authority, they were naturally loyal and had great stamina. Furthermore, wolves tended to be amicable mammals of just the right size to be effective officers in most situations without being too big to get around in more crowded areas.

All that on top of their amazing sense of smell? Wolves made for great cops, you just had to establish yourself as the alpha of the pack. For Bogo, that had been easy, she had to make a bit more of an effort. She got it done, though.

She guessed her vulpine husband had given her an appreciation for canines in general, but the fact remained that she had many fond memories of her wolfy subordinates. Being the de facto ZPD-pack alpha made them prone to show up at the precinct to show off any new family additions. It was some instinct, probably, but the result was that she had most likely held more new-born wolf pups than any other rabbit, ever.

Not that she minded too much, they were _adorable!_

One of them had grown up to become her recommended replacement when she retired, even. Richard Greyson had been one of her favourites from the first time she held him, but it was an incident when he was in his mid-to-late thirties that had cemented him for the position:

While on the way home from a trip downtown on his day off, he had come across a hippo making a smash and grab at a jewellery store. The hippo had some form of cybernetic enhancements on his forearms and the wolf was off duty, alone and unarmed. He had chosen to follow the megafauna at a light jog, waiting for an opportunity. When the thief reached his vehicle, he struck; swiftly diving under the front of the car, he reached up into the engine compartment of the large vehicle and snatched the distribution cable.

While the hippo attempted in vain to get his getaway-vehicle started, the well-muscled dark grey wolf had calmly stood himself in front of it and taken out his phone. Dangling the pilfered cable in his right paw, he called it in.

“Hello, this is officer Richard Greyson with precinct one, I´m off duty at the moment and would like to rapport a crime…”

It didn´t take many moments for the hippo to spot him, naturally. Equally natural was his displeasure with this state of affairs.

“YOU DAMNED DIRTY PELT, GIVE ME THAT BACK!!”

The canine failed to respond, which caused the larger mammal to charge at him with a furious bellow. Now, hippos are remarkedly fast in a sprint, but nowhere near fast enough to catch a well-trained wolf. Also, they are not in any way long-distance runners. After only a block and a half, the big ungulate was huffing and puffing with his hooves on his knees. Not even breathing heavy and still dangling the distribution cable in one paw, the canine kept up a running commentary in a perfect deadpan to the dispatcher on call.

“The suspect is presently in the middle of Greenleaf street between 4th and 6th boulevard, he has stopped and seems tired. I guess he wants the money for snacks, that would explain why he is so fat and out of shape…”

“RAAAHHH!”

Hippopotamuses are also prone to be very short-tempered, which let the off-duty officer lead him on a merry chase through the streets of Zootopia, with occasional stops until he could rile the hippo up again. The pattern continued until the bigger of the two simply could not move anymore. Down on all fours, he could only yell imprecations at his tormentor between great, heaving gasps.

“Okay, you have my rapport, the boys in blue can take the rest from here. Ciao!”

“Wha…?”

That was as far as the large mammal got before he was dog-piled and paw-cuffed by half a dozen wolves from the police station he was kneeling in front of. Officer Greyson threw the cable he was still holding to one of his colleges, gave a sloppy salute and went home.

Judy had printed the rapport, brought it home to Nick, and proceeded to share a half-hour long belly-laugh with her mate.

That was the funniest demonstration of calm and quick thinking in a stressful situation any of them had ever heard!

Having lost herself in memories of better times, Judy finally focused back on her current situation.

Deciding nothing more could be done at the moment, she got ready for bed in hope of better luck in the morn. Having finished her ablutions, she stopped in front of her bed, a curious thought on her mind.

Hesitating, she opened her bedside tables drawer and looked down on the contents.

“Do you have anything to add, I wonder?”

She reached a paw into the drawer…

Klick.

A husky male voice, accompanied by a single guitar, indicated an unknown ballad by a singer/songwriter.

**“... wake up screaming in the night,**

**you allways, allways hold me tight,**

**you promise all will be all right,**

**and you say**

**and you say**

**and you say**

**that your love is most true,**

**that my fears are undue,**

**and I pray**

**and I pray**

**and I pray**

**if only you knew,**

**that all of my fears are for you?”**

Ka-lick.

The bunny closed the drawer and went to bed.

As she turned the lights out and closed her eyes, a single tear spilled from her eye.

Burned, beaten, cut, shot, stabbed, crushed, disembowelled and dismembered; she had suffered it all and lived through it all. She had been around a little too long to feel fear of mere physical harm. That said…

_“Nick…”_

-RK-

Slam!

Kicking her front door shut behind her, sergeant Hopps walked into her abode, bag of groceries in paw.

Another day, another dollar.

It surely hadn´t brought anything else. Two days’ worth of paperwork, finished in forty-eight minutes this time, and then a day searching for Nickolas Piberius Wilde.

With absolutely zilch to show for it. If she was not as tired as yesterday, it was only because she had expected so much less today.

Filling her mini-fridge with food-items, she came to a conclusion:

_‘It´s Friday tomorrow, so I´ll give it one more day at work, then, if necessary, I can resort to drastic measures on Saturday.”_

She hadn´t quite figured what the drastic measures would entail yet, but she was certain they would be as drastic as necessary.

It seemed to her that she had to put in a lot of work to find a soulmate that she had been guaranteed to meet.

Without Nick, she could feel this entire part of existence wearing on her; she felt her understanding of pre-Judy was rising steadily. That worried her, just a little.

Quickly finishing up everything she had planed for the day, she headed straight for bed.

And paused.

_“Urgh, have to know…”_

She opened her drawer again. Feeling a little bit silly for speaking to a non-sapient piece of plastic, she did it anyway.

“Look, just this once, give me something good. I don´t ask for much, just something to let me move forward, a tiny bit of hope, that’s all I ask.”

Klick.

**“…their old hit, Standing Tall! Goodnight!”**

What? An actual song title? This was the first time ever she had turned on this thing and it hadn´t started in the middle of a song. And another one she had never heard of. Intrigued, she listened to the intro, a simple rhythm of drums, the dummm-dah-dummm-dah-dummm-dah of a beating heart.

Then, a single, clear, male voice.

**“For each of us who live this life,**

**we get our share of loss and strife.**

**For life´s not fair I´m sure you know,**

**it does not care, so when brought low,**

**remember well my friend, to never take a knee,**

**instead take this advice, rise up and you will see:**

**Its fall or stand!”**

When the verse ended and the chorus began with gusto, a choir of male voices joining in, the bunny felt like she had been gut-punched by a rhino.

**“Stand tall, stand proud**

**speak your faith**

**out loud.**

**Don´t give yourself to doubt and shame,**

**instead find truth in your own name.**

**Stand proud, stand tall**

**never let**

**yourself fall.**

**And should you still fall down in pain,**

**then square your feet and rise again.**

**yes, square your feet and rise again.”**

When the second verse began, she was panting from the feelings invoked in her.

****

**“Starvation, war, decease and wear,**

**we each get some death and despair.**

**For young and old, for rich and poor,**

**each their measure get of this lore.**

**If you are blessed with friends, gold, health and love so grand,**

**take care for all things ends, if so then you must stand:**

**To fail or stand.**

**(Chorus)**

**Stand tall, stand proud**

**speak your voice**

**out loud.**

**Don´t give yourself to guilt and shame,**

**instead find strength in your own name.**

**Stand proud, stand tall**

**never let**

**yourself fall.**

**And should you still fall down from pain,**

**then square your feet and rise again.**

**yes, square your feet and rise again.**

**(End chorus)**

**No matter how little you have,**

**some one would think it up for grabs.**

**There’s lots of folks who wants control**

**of your mon-ey, your life and soul.**

**Be it by religion, law or state, it’s a brand**

**you don´t want on your hand, so throw off your yoke and...**

**Choose die or stand.**

**(Chorus)**

**Stand tall, stand proud,**

**speak your choice**

**out loud.**

**Don´t let them get your heart to mar,**

**instead find strength in who you are.**

**Stand proud, stand tall**

**never let yourself fall.**

**And should you still fall down from pain,**

**then square your feet and rise again.**

**yes, square your feet and ri-i-ise a-GAIN!”**

Ka-lick.

“Groooowwrrrrrrrrrrr….”

“…”

“…”

“…thank you.”

She turned off her lights an went to bed.

The apartment would be lit by a purple glow for another hour, though, as her slit eyes seemed determined to match the reignited fire of her soul.

-RK-

**_Undisclosed location, somewhere in Zootopia, that evening._ **

The three mammals gathered in their well-hidden HQ as usual at this time.

“Everything is going according to plan, the beasts are well under control. How is operation: _Flower power_ coming along?”

“Quite well, the lab-tests are well on their way. If things proceed as hoped, we might be ready for field trials within a few months. That would let us finally begin the last steps to get rid of the beasts for good.”

“Excellent, then the only other thing of concern is _the fox._ He is still doling out hope to the beasts like some demented Santa Claws. We need to get rid of him. Thoughts?”

The first two turned to the third, who so far had held his silence.

“Not to worry, a plan is already set for tomorrow night.”

His smile was… not kind.

“I´m thinking I´ll use the rabbit. She might as well be useful one more time.”

-RK-

**End of chapter 3.**

**I have a liking for symmetry. That is why, in chapter one, the last mammals Judy saved mirrored the two first: Fru-Fru Big and Emmitt Otterton.**

**Or I´m just really good at spotting weird details and claiming credit, you decide.**

**Song list for this chapter:**

**_Crazy train_ ** **by Ozzy Osbourne**

 **_12_ ** **by Insane Clown Posse**

 **_Ghostriders in the sky_ ** **by Johnny Cash**

 **_Wandering spirit_ ** **by Mick Jagger**

 **_You_ ** **by Steppenwolf**

 **_‘Unknown’_ ** **by Anonymous**

 **_Standing Tall_ ** **by Yours Truly**

**Yes, I don´t have a claim on anything else in this story, but Standing Tall is mine, all mine.**

**Maybe some day I´ll get around to record it, too.**


	4. Noise Disturbence.

**A/N: The ”In this life and the next” quote in last chapter comes from Guardian Blue, all credit to sarsis for that.**

**Rabbit Karma ch4**

It was the end of her third day in her second life, and sergeant Judy Hopps was annoyed.

The day had gone just like her first two; come to work, be ignored by everyone, receive twice the amount of paperwork that anyone could be expected to finish in a day, finish her paperwork within an hour, search for Nick. Unfortunately, it seemed she had truly emptied the ZPDs well of information on her fox, no matter how esoteric a search criterion she attempted the result was the same. Nada, zilch, nothing.

She only saw one positive aspect of her day, the fact that the large number of low skill personnel that got dumped into the ZPD often needed some equally low skill busy-work to keep them occupied. Such as digitising rapports and old files, for example.

This meant that the police database was a complete and utter mess, but it was a very _complete_ mess. So, if you could be bothered to trawl through its murky depths you had as close to one hundred percent of the ZPD's information at your fingertips as makes no difference.

So now, after almost three full days of searching and putting her special abilities to their full use, she could say with some certainty that she had exhausted the ZPD´s knowledge about one Nick Wilde.

It seemed it would have to be drastic measures, after all.

“Hey, bunny!”

Badly startled, she spun like a top to face the wildebeest that had charged into her office without knocking.

“Got a job for ya!”

When the paper in his hooves was suddenly shoved almost right in her face, she grabbed it out of pure shock. It was indeed a job. More precisely, it was a simple call out. For a noise complaint. A quick check told her she had fifteen minutes left on the clock.

This… was beyond the pale. Simple beat cops did not order around sergeants, not for solo rides on a noise disturbance and especially not with a quarter of an hour left on her shift. It was not only against the regs but it flew directly in the face of all traditions of the force. The implied disrespect grated on her last nerve.

Her eyes, when she gave the somewhat shaggy officer a good once-over, were decidedly frosty.

“So tell me, officer… Connocham, can you give me a single reason to accept this instead of simply reporting you for conduct prejudicial to good order and discipline?”

Taken aback by the icy stare and even icier voice, the large gnu couldn´t help but take half a step back. “Wha…?” Suffice to say, he was a far too typical example of the ZPDs current hiring policy.

Not in the least impressed, she continued. “I´ll make it simple for you: Me sergeant, me give orders to YOU, not the other way around. Or is the chain of command too nebulous a concept for a fresh officer like you, hmm?”

He wanted to protest, really he did, loudly and with many a profanity. But the look in her eyes, the tone of her voice and the way her ears stood out from the back of her head just a finger above a horizontal line, in a way his hindbrain insisted on calling “attack position”; his ancient instincts told him that this was like those peculiar floating logs that watched his ancestors when they prepared to cross a river.

The conflict between his eyes who clearly reported “small herbivore” and his subconscious that screamed “big predator, RUN AWAY!” caused him to freeze in place, eyes wide, with only his lower jay moving up and down like he was ruminating.

A small sigh escaped her as she watched the young fool. He really wasn´t worth the hassle.

Meh. Time to get constructive. It´s not like she had anyone waiting for her, and after three days she needed a change of pace, badly.

“Tell you what, lets just forget about this little miscommunication and any reports to Bogo. I`ll even do this thing,” _*shakes note*_ “and in return you will assist me with a little demonstration the next time we have a scheduled paw-to-paw practice at the precinct, `kay?”

She got no answer. She narrowed her eyes. “I asked, is that _all right,_ officer?”

The sharper tone shook the other mammal out of his stupor enough to nod his head rapidly.

“Excellent! I´ll be on my way then!” She had logged out her computer and left the office so fast that his head was still moving up and down when she was gone.

Letting out a breath he hadn’t even been aware he was holding, he summarized the just transpired situation:

“Well, shit.”

-RK-

Having driven her personal cruiser to the specified address using it´s built-in navigation system, she found herself yet again disappointed; this was either a poor attempt at a practical joke, or the noise complaint was false. In the latter case, the dispatcher would have to have mucked it up badly for any officer to be sent out here; she was currently in one of Zootopia´s older and currently least used industrial areas. Once upon a time, this had been a place where smaller ships could load and unload cargo directly to the businesses that supplied/needed them, but nowadays such cargo were handled in bulk by far larger vessels that used the big harbor, to then be distributed by truck or train. Only a few, odd little firms still had active facilities here, mostly due to the low cost.

After parking her ride and double-checking her position, she decided this had to be a prank. Her internal map showed that the closest residential area was almost two miles away, so short of testing a military grade afterburner or setting off elephant-sized fireworks, there was no way to disturb anyone from here.

Not actually hearing any other noises then the sounds of traffic from the busy highway-bridge that crossed the water of the channel just a quarter mile away, she considered if anyone else could have made a serious call; was there really someone around here at all?

A check on her internal map showed only a single business within a mile that was open after four o´clock: There was a small hospital on the hill just above her. Curious what a medical facility was doing in these parts, she did a more thorough search, remembering that she had seen an unexpected number of cars in the parking place outside when she had driven passed it. Apparently, it catered exclusively to predators. Ah. Presumably cheap rent, and no prey around to complain about all the chompers. Of course.

Sighing deeply to herself, she turned to her car, ready to wash her paws of this whole thing when her absurdly sharp ears picked up something unexpected: Faint sounds of screaming.

Spinning on her heals, she regarded the huge hangar looking building that took up most of the area. It seemed abandoned, if in decent repair. It must have been the site of some major operation, once, it was big enough to house a large zeppelin.

Focusing her absolutely unparalleled hearing on it, she could make out other sounds. It was faint, but now that she was filtering out everything else, she could hear the sounds of many mammals, along with the occasional screams of a group of them. That should be worrying, but there was a certain lack of fear in it; unfortunately, she was intimately familiar with the sounds of mammals in distress, and this wasn´t it. Also, was that howling she heard? This needed a closer inspection.

Finding no apparent way inside, she instead used a piece of wisdom she had gained in her long career; most mammals rarely look up. With this in mind, she carefully scaled an old rusty ladder bolted directly to the wall.

At the top, she found what she needed, in the form of a narrow metal walkway along the wall. More importantly, she found herself just below the row of windows running along most of the building, to supply the interior with daylight. Making sure to fold her long ears down, she reached up to the underside of the window and grabbed hold with her claws. Then, with a complete lack of effort what-so-ever, she slowly hoisted herself up until her chin was on the level with her fingers. Finding the window completely covered in soot, she braced her feet against the wall and scrubbed a part of it clean with her right paw, only hanging on with her left.

Never giving a thought to her casual demonstration of physical prowess, she was immediately engrossed in the site below: Predators.

Predators, everywhere. Predators, big and small, young and old, running and screaming and playing and having a jolly good time. She heard the screams again, now shown to be generated by an old-fashioned, wooden roller-coaster as it swooped down and up in a loop-de-loop. It was far from the only attraction, however; much of the old building was filled with everything an old-timey carnival needed, everything from a proper merry-go-round to all kinds of food and drink stalls.

Indeed, it reminded her a great deal about the gathering of stalls at a carrot-festival back in Bunnyburrow, actually. Only with an utterly different slant, of course. She hardly thought many rabbits would be interested in a Howl-a-long or catching fish-tokens with their teeth.

And there was not a single T.A.M.E.-collar in sight.

She had just spotted the large sign above it all that read WILDE TIMES in fancy script when her eyes fell on … _him._

There, dressed in a fancier version of his old ensemble consisting of khaki pants, green pawaiian shirt and a wide, red tie, was a red fox. HER fox. Striding along like he owned the place (he did), smiling and waving to any mammal that greeted him, he looked like he was on top of the world. To Judy’s eyes, he looked more like the light at the end of the tunnel. She could not take her eyes from him. For the next ten minutes, all she did was following him with her moistening eyes, burning everything about him into memory.

It had been _so long._

When the vulpine finally walked off and was lost in the chaos, she could at last start to make sense of what she was seeing. And also, what the consequences were.

That pissed her off something fierce.

Lowering herself down from the window after hanging from her fingers longer than should have been possible, it was very clear to her why she had gotten this strange call, and also what was supposed to happen here.

Send the little bunny out alone to discover a whole bunch of un-collared predators running amok and have her call it in, thus closing this place down for good. She had no illusions about how it would be used, either; she would get another short time in the lime-light as the hero while all the predators here suffered, probably along with a fresh bout of unjust laws being passed to make it all even worse. TUSK, the ZPDs tactical unit, was probably already on stand-by. She didn´t think she would have any trouble at all to get back-up tonight, strangely enough.

The one thing that made her blood boil, though: _Someone had tried to use her against Nick!_

She would show them exactly how bad they had miscalculated, _her_ ZPD had been the single largest, toughest collection of badass predators in all of Zootopia, and she had reigned over them as the undisputed Big Dog for half a century. She had lost the last shreds of fear of _any_ predator a few years after she met Nick for the first time. She would make the ones responsible for her being here _pay._

A devious smirk spread across her face as she got an idea of how to begin. Now she just had to find and sneak into Nicks office in this place. Any operation of this size had to have office space.

-RK-

Pleased with another great day at Wilde Times, Nick Wilde set course for his office. Finnick and Honey and the rest of his posse could close up shop while he got his papers in order. His incomes were covering expenses nicely, and in just two months he could give Koslov the last payoff on his loan and start making some real progress with this place. It just needed that extra bit of cash influx to make it all it could be.

Smiling in smug satisfaction, he congratulated himself for finding this locale. Not only was it huge and dirt cheap, the position was completely of the cops´ radar! Witch meant the hush money he had budgeted for went straight into his profits, instead! No-one had ratted the place out for almost a year and it´s not like that was about to change any time soon, since this was for all intents and purposes the only freedom many of the customers had.

For a moment forgetting the dangers of tempting Murphy even in the privacy of your own mind, the fox was thus surprised when he heard the sound of his old, trusty printer running in his office.

Not seeing a reason to knock on his own door, nor believing for a moment that a mammal stopping in to borrow his old dot-matrix would have bad intentions, he threw open the door and walked right in.

He got two steps in before he was frozen on the spot.

There, by the little side-table that held his printer and all its accessories, a bunny stood.

Young, female, grey fur and tall, black-tipped ears. Also, a lithe but muscular build wearing a fancier-than-standard ZPD-uniform. Just standing there _in his office,_ tapping the bottom side of a substantial pile of papers against the table to line them up properly.

_‘Beautiful.’_

Feeling like he wanted to remove his own head so he could give it a good shake for that errant, out-of-the-blue thought, he was totally unprepared to handle the current incongruent situation. Especially when she turned to him and gave him a saucy smile, ears held high and the papers under her arm.

“You, Nick Wilde, are one lucky fox!”

Feeling more than a little out of his depth and kind of defensive, the fox in question folded his ears back and gave a weak snark in answer. “I don´t know about that, few foxes that encounter an officer of the ZPD can really be called lucky. Unless Finnick put you up to this…?”

Perhaps realizing that she had come on a little too strong, she folded her ears back and gave him a far gentler smile. “No, your friend did not put me up to this, and I am indeed a real cop; Sergeant Judy Hopps, precinct one. Now please, come and sit down, we have much to talk about.”

_‘Cute.”_

Deciding that his mind needed a real tuning, considering the absurd things it kept dropping on him, he was surprised to find that the rabbit had already sat herself in the visitors’ chair. Slowly moving around his desk to take a seat in his worn but very comfy office chair, he thought it was probably a good sign that she had not automatically gone for the better seat. That’s what most prey would have done in this situation.

“So, Sergeant Hopps, was it? You do know that entering a privately owned facility without a warrant is illegal, right? You could be in big trouble if I reported you.”

Closing her eyes and looking like she bit into a lemon for a second, the bunny-cop seemed like her answer was almost painful. “Yes, that´s how it _should_ be, but let’s not kid ourselves here, we both know how that would play out, right?”

Yes, of course he knew; if he did such a thing, then all the details about his business would be public knowledge. She would be a hero for exposing him, and he would be behind bars or worse.

Well, he _had_ budgeted for this situation, after all. “Well then, sarge, how much does the ZPD fund for widows and orphans need as a monthly contribution? I guess it´s just my civic duty to help the mammals in blue, after all.”

The bunny´s face went through confusion, surprise and distaste in the blink of an eye before it settled back into a much more neutral state. Then she raised her right paw in the universal sign for ‘stop’. “You know what they say about when you assume things, so before you go for another round, let me tell you how I came to be here tonight, mister Wilde. See, I was sitting in my office finishing up my paperwork, when a junior officer barged in and all but shoved a note with a call-out for me in my face. Now, I don´t expect you to know about the ZPD´s procedures, so suffice to say that it´s not normal for subordinates to order a sergeant to take a call for a noise-disturbance when they have fifteen minutes left on the clock.”

Indeed, the fox knew fuck-all about the internal workings of the police, but one detail stood out in stark relief to his clever mind. “Hold on, hold on, what was that about a… _noise-disturbance!?_ Out _here?_ Are they for real?”

The strange rabbit sitting in his office gave him a strangely happy smile at that, as if she was… proud of him? What´s up with that? “I see you understand the crux of the problem, one I spotted the moment I arrived here. I was certain I was the victim of a particularly tasteless prank at first, and had every intention of just going home, but then I heard screaming. And howling too, for that matter.”

What, screaming and howling? What the… oh. “The roar-a-coaster and the howl-a-long, you mean.” It was not a question.

“Yes indeed, I of course had to investigate such weird noises, and it didn´t take me long to find an elevated window. I had quite the view of your whole operation. Now, how do you think this should have gone from there, mister Wilde?”

She was giving him a rather intensive stare right now, clearly expecting him to figure it out for himself. Not like that was a very tall order. “Well, if an _average_ bunny had come across a horde of uncollared preds running wild in an old industrial site, I would have expected T.U.S.K. to be here already, in full getup and armed to the tusk´s. What I don´t understand is why they’re not?” Truly, he was completely befuddled by that fact, what was it with this bunny? Why was she here, in this office? She had already implied that a bribe was not on the agenda, but what did that leave?

“Because you are an extremely lucky fox, mister Wilde.”

Oookay? He still didn´t know what that was supposed to mean. The fox twisted his head to the side the way of confused canines and vulpines everywhere.

She gave him a fond smile at that. It did strange and wonderful things to his insides that it had no business doing. “You are lucky, mister Wilde, because A: I am probably the only rabbit in Zootopia that is completely lacking in fear of predators, and B: I hate those damn T.A.M.E-collars with a burning passion. Were it up to me, every last one of them would be destroyed before the next sunset. So, with that in mind, when I saw all those mammals running, laughing and playing without risk of electrocution, I was not scared. I was happy! What you are doing here is a wonderful thing, and I want to help you protect Wilde Times.”

Nick Wilde considered himself a good judge of character; an absolutely essential survival trait for a fox. The shock of not finding an iota of doubt or falsehood in the bunny’s impassioned speech left him speechless in turn. This was so out of left field for any prey, least of all a little rabbit. He began to suspect that, perhaps, she had come by that uniform, not to mention those sergeant´s stripes, honestly. She had more to say, though.

“Unfortunately, that leaves us in, well, a bit of a pickle, to be honest.”

The todd blinked in surprise. What? Why? She claimed she wasn´t worried about preds without collars, and she said she wanted to help. What’s the problem? “So, what´s the problem? I guess you have to report something, but can´t you just make up a little white lie, and say you handled it? Whose gonna contend it?”

She looked him in the eye with a deadpan expression, and he had to tell the butterflies in his stomach to go die. They really, _really_ had no cause for doing whatever they were doing because of some adorable little bunny.

 _‘Wait, what? Nonono, not adorable! Nor cute or beautiful, or kindhearted or helpful either! Wait, kindhearted? Helpful? Where in Karmas sweet bosom did that come from? Well, I guess she is certainly nicer than ninety-nine percent of all other prey I´ve ever met, and while her bosom_ is _rather modest, it looks just as perky and firm as the rest of her… Wait, what?’_

While the fox was getting thoroughly lost in his own, spiraling out of control, thoughts, the rabbit opposite him continued. “Yes, I _could_ do that, certainly, but that still leaves whoever got me sent here in the first place.”

The vulpine abruptly tore his brain away from thoughts of strangely beguiling lapin’s and forced it to get on track. This was important. “Of course, someone knows of Wilde Times already, so if you file a less-than-accurate rapport and don´t raise the alarm, they will just get someone else to do it. Unless he or she simply decides to do their own dirty work. And then you´ll get in hot water, on top of Wilde Times going down. Just perfect.” The fox lowered his head to his chest, eyes closed and ears down. He was fucked. It´s not like he could move a whole amusement park. At best, he´d be a fugitive.

“Exactly. That is what I have spent the last hour in here trying to find a way to prevent. It wasn´t easy, but if you help, I think we can pull it off.” The fox was suddenly at full alert again. Apparently, his unexpected guest insisted on keeping him on his toes instead of down in the dumps.

“How?” His eyes were gleaming with hope and curiosity, begging fate that this wonderful little mammal could surprise him again. _‘Wonderful? What the fluff? Ugh, later!”_

The rabbit leaned in, putting both paws on top of the stack of papers she had printed, indicating them.

“A plan. I have a plan. A brilliant plan, timed and ready, down to the finest detail!” She said it with a nearly feverish intensity. The fox stared at her wide-eyed, and then:

“Prffft. Teeheheheheee…HAHAHAHAHAHA!” He lost it.

Waiting a bit for Nick to calm down, Judy sat back in her chair with a rueful grin. “Too much, eh? I suppose it sounded a little better in my head.”

The fox had to wipe some tears from his eyes before he finally got himself under enough control to answer. “Yeah, that was far too much ‘stereotypical movie villain’ to be believable. So thanks for the laugh, Sarge, but seriously, what are we going to do about our situation?” By the end, he was perfectly serious again.

Her answer was equally serious. “Despite the melodramatic presentation, I was actually serious. These…” Taps papers. “really are my plan, which can be summarized in two words: Legalize it.”

All she got was a long stare and a one word answer. “Elaborate.” Or two. “Please.”

The rabbit straightened and assumed a slightly lecturing tone. “As I´m sure you know from firstpaw experience, the current laws of Zootopia aren´t exactly fair or just, especially where predators are concerned. The thing is, the people that made them were never all that careful about just how they went about it; they just crammed in the new laws as they saw fit, only rarely changing or removing old laws first. The collar laws, for example, are clearly in direct opposition to the constitution, but since they were made by the mammals in power, no-one has ever had the political clout to even get a complaint to the courts. Now, I don´t now if they were this incompetent from the beginning or if the lack of opposition has made them lazy, but they have been at it for decades by now, resulting in a legal system that is such a mess that it can literally be interpreted in just about any way you choose.” Taking a short pause, she got to her point. “So, I´m sure certain individuals find it very convenient that they can do almost anything and call it legal, but as long as one has intimate knowledge about the rules, so can anyone else! In conclusion, this whole stack of papers is a bunch of legally binding documents that, taken all together, will form a judicial Gordian knot that will make Wilde Times completely legal.”

Nick felt that it wasn´t truly fair of her to keep shocking him like this, couldn´t she give him a bit of breathing room? Still, he thought it sounded a bit _too_ good. “How in Karmas name are you going to make this place legit?”

She smiled happily. “Simple, I found out that you have a valid MD´s certificate. I guess the little hospital on the hill above us is the secret entry? We just register Wilde Times as an expansion of that and call it a de-stressing facility or some such. Serendipity knows it´s basically the simple truth anyway.”

“What about removing the collars? That is the single most important thing about the whole place after all, I can´t see how that’s going to fly?” He couldn´t believe that this may really be possible!

“Collars may be removed by special collar experts for service, emergency responders of the requisite rank and medical personnel within properly sealed facility´s. You and I both are such mammals and I will register this whole place as a medical facility, so it will be perfectly legal for a predator to go without a collar in here.” She was getting all the way up to fox-level smug by now. He had just one more thing that could be problematic.

“That’s… amazing, really, but as you said earlier, the whole system is a mess. What´s going to stop the mammal that got you here from side-stepping the law completely and just, I don´t know, just bust us down anyway?” He was playing devil´s advocate by now, this incredible little doe seemed to have the answer to all his woes.

He totally missed how he had begun to think of the two of them as _us_ at this point. His subconscious and his conscious mind were completely out of sync were Judy was concerned.

“I´m counting on the miracle of bureaucracy; if you want something done, someone has to sign off on it, and if it´s not quite kosher no-one will want that signature to be theirs. Simply put, anyone that is high enough in the chain of command to okay something like that will want to cover their own behind first.”

Now _that_ , he could easily believe. Any mammal that had gotten a cushy high-ranking job would most likely be unwilling to risk it just to be someone else´s scapegoat. The thought of making the corruption of the city work against itself filled him with a happy, warm feeling. He could see a loophole, though. “And if they have the clout to just change the laws on us?”

Her smile was way past mere smugness and well into devious territory now. “That’s where the Gordian knot part comes in. See, all these documents are in some way interconnected, so if you try to undo one piece all the other parts must follow. I made sure to get as many parts of the system involved as possible, and if there is only a single honest mammal in there, it´s going to be a disaster of epic proportions. Legally speaking, they´ve built themselves a fine house of cards, and if they start to mess with it at this point, it´s all going to come falling down around their ears. So, unless they want all they have worked for to _go away,_ they will leave well enough alone.”

The fox felt his tail start wagging, that warm feeling getting hotter from the fuel of pure schadenfreude it got fed with. “So if they try to take a sword to the knot, they will be cutting the rope that´s holding them up over the abyss, eh? Okay, while I think the talk about _them_ feels a little too conspiratory, I´m still sold on making _them_ choke on their own crap. Let´s do this!”

“Good. Most of these papers just needs some signatures, except for these.” So saying, she held up four documents, and handed three to the fox. “As you can see, its for fire-safety, a building inspection for a medical facility and a safety-inspection for the attractions. They all need to be signed off on by an accredited inspector.”

Now the vulpine was worried again. Not, in fact, for the quality of Wilde Times; the building had started life as a zeppelin hangar in the good old days when mammals took pride in their work and was still in good condition. He may not know about what special demands a medical facility may face, but the fire suppression system was made to put out several hundred feet of burning zeppelin in a pinch; the worst was a small risk of drowning if it got going full tilt. And as for the attractions, they had been built from old scrounged up industrial equipment, lovingly restored and put together by his little pose. _Heavy_ industrial equipment. That meant that where a normal amusement-park attraction had to have certain safety-margins, a Wilde Times attraction was constructed from parts often meant to handle several _hundred_ times the weight they were currently exposed to. In short, everything about his life´s work was, in spite of its often simple appearance, _rock solid._

No, he had a different worry. “And where, pray tell, are we going to find all these inspectors on such short notice, never mind ones willing to risk their asses for something like this?” Could she really manage another asspull? _‘If it´s_ her _ass, I´d help her out, whether its pulling or pushing. Ugh, not again! Out of the gutter, mind!’_

His amorous thoughts about his unknown soulmate were not at all diminished by the here-to-forth unheard-of number of bunny-smiles he got exposed to. _‘Wow, first saucy then happy, gentle, smug and devious, and now a self-satisfied smile? What´s next, sexy? ….oh for goodness sake!’_

“That won´t be a problem, mister Wilde. I´m right here, and my ass is with you all the way.”

Making a concerted effort to fight off the thoughts her double entendre caused him and deciding that the innuendo had to be unintended (it really, really wasn´t), he needed yet another clarification. “I think you are having a little too much fun yanking my chain. Are you saying you’re a fire inspector on top of being an officer? Or a building inspector? What is it?”

A chagrinned smile got added to the list. “About that, I got promoted to my current rank mostly as a PR-stunt by the higher-ups through no real fault of my own. As you may imagine, my colleges still resented me for it, and the chief was hard-up to find work suiting my rank. As a result, I spent most of my time for a whole year in vain trying to prove myself, mostly by getting accreditation for whatever role I could fill. In the end, I´m now licensed to inspect pretty much any vehicle, facility and piece of equipment you care to name, along with being trained as an instructor in scuba-diving, IT-security, CSI-protocol, paw-to-paw combat, undercover-work, witness-protection, wilderness-survival, evasive driving and the proper use of any and all weapons the ZPD has in inventory.”

Looooong stare. The fox had the niggling thought that maybe, just maybe, he was seated opposite one of the most dangerous mammals he had ever met. The list of her abilities sounded more fitting for a super-spy like James Boar than a cute little bunny, ZPD-officer or not. He spoke, with a tentative tone to his voice this time. “That´s…good, I guess? But that leaves me a bit wary of that last paper you are holding, since you left it for last I have a feeling it´s the most… troublesome?”

New addition to the list: Shy smile. For some inexplicable reason, the fox felt his hackles rise.

“Very astute of you. Yes, this is the lynchpin to the whole plan, without which, all the rest can be rendered useless if a single point of failure is attacked. _Me._ Since it will be my name on all these documents, if I´m found unfit for duty, they can all be declared illegal and summarily tossed out. With this, a little bit of legal fiction comes into play, that in essence separates the current me from future me. That makes everything current me does unassailable, no matter what happens to future me. I suspect it was set up like that for just such a purpose.”

She held out the paper for him to take. “So, mister Wilde, do you know who is the only mammal in the whole world that can never be forced to testify against you?”

Perplexed by her question, he took the offered piece of stationary and read it slowly.

His lower jaw met his chest _hard._

-RK-

Once the fox got over his shock, it didn´t take them long to get down to business. They signed all the paperwork in record time, and then left the small office building in the far corner of the great former hangar for Judy to get to her inspections. The fox made sure his employees were out first and assured them that once he had finished some last-minute work, he could lock up himself. Then he let the bunny loose.

Nick was astounded by the sheer speed of the rabbit, she seemed to flit from place to place almost without ever occupying the space in between, all the while taking notes on her rapport seemingly faster than the eye could follow. Despite her finding one small attraction that actually had suffered structural damage that could make it unsafe, the rest was finished in less than an hour. The vulpine solved the problematic part with a bit of red rope and a “closed for service” sign on the afflicted stand.

Next, the both of them closed the park and hopped into Judy´s cruiser. Next stop; Precinct one.

-RK-

Nick Wilde was nervous.

He couldn´t help it; he was sitting alone in a police-cruiser right out-side the station. Not a good place for a fox.

Trying not to let his collar-light turn yellow while keeping out of sight from anyone passing by, he concentrated on his weird rabbit. He knew she had to go in alone to log her rapport of the “noise-disturbance”, get all their papers into the system and check out for the day. He knew that. He _did._

Unfortunately, that didn´t help old paranoias that told him that any time now the car door would be thrown open by the rabbit, shouting: “There’s the fox! _Get him!_ ” And he would be jumped and arrested by a bunch of her burlier comrades in blue.

So focused on his fears was he, that when said rabbit really did throw open the door, jump in, and slam it closed, he damned near had a heart attack; his collar gave off several angry beeps before he got himself under control again.

“Hi Nick! Are you ready for the last part of the plan?”

The discombobulated fox gave the peppy bunny a once over; she had changed into her civilian clothes before she left the station, which was definitely for the best. Blue jeans and a deep blue sweater made her look far more approachable than the crisp uniform of a sergeant. _‘Like a big sweet blueberry. I could just gobble her up. Urgh, NO!”_

Dismissing his errant thoughts yet again, he gathered himself for a proper answer. “As ready as I´ll ever be. I called my buddy Flash, he has a place that takes care of stuff like this twentyfour-seven just half a block from the Palm hotel. It’s a thing in those parts, he is expecting us.” The fox paused for a moment while the bunny started the car and got under way. “You know, with all the laws against us preds, I´m surprised there aren´t any against _this!_ I mean, are you sure?”

Staring straight ahead, she stated in a slightly distracted tone: “I´m sure, I checked and double checked. I guess it´s a blind spot, with all the bigotry towards predators, no one thought anyone would ever even think about something so outrageous.”

_‘And yet, you didn´t just think of it, but you don´t seem to have any misgivings what-so-ever. Just what kind of a bunny are you, Judy Hopps?'_

Outwardly, all he did was to give off a noncommittal grunt, before they both lapsed into a thoughtful silence.

-RK-

“We´re here.”

Having lost himself in his thoughts, the fox gave a small start at the unexpected words. Looking around at his surroundings, he realized that he must have been deep in thought not to notice the same, that enormous artificial palm-tree was kinda hard to miss after all. Sweeping his eyes to the side, they fell as if by their own accord on the target for this outing.

“I guess we are. You ready for this? We _are_ making history here, sorta.”

A small nod. “Let’s go.”

Conversation over, they exited the car and crossed the street for their target, a small white building with a rather garish neon sign above the doors:

**Flash´s flashy wedding chapel.**

**Drop-in around the clock.**

**Full legal service.**

**Everyone Welcome.**

-RK-

When they arrived a bit later at their second-to-last destination, our favorite fox was starting to feel more than a little overwhelmed. In the last four hours, and he could not believe it had only been that long, he had met a rabbit police officer in his office, and found out his entire livelihood was in jeopardy, probably along with his life and freedom. Only to embark on an insane plan cooked up by the very same bunny to pull a fast one on the entirety of Zootopia´s messed-up legal system. And now, he was married to her. _Her,_ an officer of the law, a _prey-mammal,_ a _bunny_ for Karmas sake.

Oh sure, it was a marriage of convenience, meant only to fulfill a, how did she put it, a legal fiction. But still. Married. To a Bunny. And why did he, in his heart of hearts, feel so sanguine about that fact?

He had thought he would have to engage in some seriously fast talking when they walked into the chapel, but Flash´s only response when he grasped that Judy and Nick were the bride and groom, was a wide-eyed happy expression. “I… will… make… _history…_ today. This… means… big… business!” Apparently, Flash was a believer in the old adage that “no publicity is bad publicity”. 

Flash´s teenage assistant, a small female goat of the goth variety, was even worse in Nick´s opinion: “You two are getting hitched? Cool.” Never stopped chewing her gum or lost her deadpan for even a millisecond. She was clearly the pride and joy of her culture.

And to top it all off, when Flash had finished the ceremony in record time (even for a non-sloth; he seemed to be determined to get it done before they could change their minds), Nick had turned to his bunny-bride and asked her how it felt to be Mrs Wilde. She had smiled at him (addition to list: Mischievous smile), said “Not quite”, grabbed his tie and yanked him down for a quick kiss. Full on the lips. It still tingled. Yes it was traditional, but _still!_

The only good about the debacle in the fox´s opinion was that they had gotten a freebee for the whole thing for a promise that Flash could use the wedding-photos as commercial material.

And now, they had arrived at Judy’s place so he could start paying the bride-price. While they had been doing paperwork for the plan, his bunny had asked him where he lived. He had answered honestly that he had inherited a pretty big house, that he shared with two of his friends, Finnick and Honey. She had said that if he could find room for her too, that would be ample payment for all her help today. Well, he had the room, alright, and if she had truly been truthful about not minding preds in any way, fine then. He had agreed.

So now they had just parked outside her apartment-complex, ready to get her moved out.

“Hey Sarge, is it really alright to do this with a cruiser? Doesn´t the ZPD have rules about that?”

Her answer was unworried. “Meh, it´s fine. Perk of my rank, apparently. No lights and sirens, that’s the only limitation. Besides, it´s not like anyone else on the force can even drive this thing.”

He blinked at that. Oh right, small bunny in a place of big mammals. Yes, this car was evidently adapted specially for her, or she would never be able to drive it. Made sense. He realized he had totally blanked on the fact that a little bunny doe like her shouldn´t be a cop in the first place; she just seemed so competent and comfortable wearing blue, like she had been born in it. He could no longer even imagine her as anything _but_ a cop.

“Coming, husband dearest?”

Blink. And she was already well on her way. Jeeze, could this bunny throw him off his game or what? He hurried to catch up.

As they entered the building, Nick was less than impressed. Foxes often had to lower their standards to find a place to live at all, but even by those this was at the very bottom rung. Dirty, worn floors, tags and graffiti on the walls and only a third of the lightning fixtures seemed operational. That the elevator was out of order bothered him not at all, he would not have let Judy get in it anyway. _His_ bunny would not get in a deathtrap like that, not now, not ever!

Using the trip up the stairs to contemplate his sudden bout of protective possessiveness, he decided that convenience or not, as long as they were married that was just the way it had to be. Fox instinct, and stuff. Nuff said.

Refusing to take that to its logical conclusion even in his own head, he watched as Judy came to a stop in front of a simple wooden door. How an officer could accept to live with the security-standard of this place was beyond him. Where he grew up, that door wouldn´t have kept an eight-year-old with a screwdriver out for even a minute.

As he followed her into her abode, he stopped right inside the door. Letting his eyes roam from left to right, he took in the entirety of her flat. One wardrobe built into the wall. Bed, small bedside table, chair, table, mini-fridge to the right of the door. That was it. It was _tiny._ And it was only better than the rest of the building on account of being much cleaner.

“Here.” Suddenly his world went dark, as the rabbit threw a cloth sack she procured from… somewhere, over his face. “If you get my clothes and bedclothes from the wardrobe, I´ll get the rest.” Having pulled a suitcase from under the bed, she was already packing. Deciding to humor her, the fox opened the door to the wardrobe and put the sack on the floor. Seeing the sack wasn´t empty as he first thought, he realized that all the bedclothes, stuffed bunnies and the rest from her bed was already packed. _‘Dang, she works fast.’_

Following her lead, he began to fill up the sack with the rest of her clothes; spare uniform, dress blues, a single nice dress, some pants, shirts, skirts, towels, another blue sweater and a few other items, a clean set of bedclothes and a warm jacket. Done. He hefted the sack over his shoulder and turned to Judy, just as she put a note into a letter and faced him. “All done, Nick! I wrote a note for the landlord, we can just put the key in the letter, and she can do whatever she wants with this place. Are you finished too?”

“Yeees, I emptied the wardrobe, but where´s the rest, fluff?”

The bunny tilted her head to the side in confusion. “The rest…?”

He could only stare at her, along with the things she had packed up. A sack with clothes, a single bunny-sized suitcase, and a small plastic bag with groceries from the fridge. She probably had two more uniforms at the precinct, along with some extra clothes. He was not a big mammal, but he could carry the entire sum of his wife´s worldly possessions. In. One. Paw.

As he swept his gaze around the apartment once more, taking in the absolutely horrid place, memories of all she had let slip about herself in the last few hours came back to him, as well as all she had done.

Everything she had done _for him._

With an expressionless face, he slowly put the sack back on the floor. His collar turned yellow.

“Nick…?”

Then, he got down on one knee and pulled her in for a tight hug.

The single gasp reminded him that it might not be a great idea to just grab small prey-mammals out of the blue, but before he could even contemplate letting go, she had already wrapped him in her own hug and buried her face into the scruff of his neck.

He lost track of how long they held on to each other, but in the end they had to get a move on.

As he stood back up, he hefted the sack onto his shoulder again.

He offered his bunny his nicest smile. “Let´s go home, Sarge.”

New addition to the list: Tremulous smile. “Sure, Nick.”

-RK-

It was well after midnight when they reached their final destination. Home. For both of them, from now on.

As Judy parked in the drive by the big house on the top of the hill, she found it rather… strange. “This house seems different somehow, can you tell me about it?”

Always eager to show off his knowledge, the fox was quick to tell her. “Quite right, my dear Sarge. You see, this house used to be half the top floor of a larger building, one used to sell luxury furniture to rich megafauna. The rest of it would have been several floors high, placed at the bottom of the cliff-face in the back of the property. Then the economy got worse, the number of mammals that could afford such luxury dwindled, and the ones that still could started special order their stuff for that special touch. There just were no way to keep going, so the then owner had to reuse the land. Now, that mammal was the son of the original owner, and in his youth he was often hoisted off on the custodian of the store, an old badger, when his dad was busy. Being an elephant, and having their fabled long memory, he remembered “uncle stripeface” and his fanciful stories rather fondly. Enough so, that when the main part of the store was demolished, he used the old front store windows to seal off the half of the top floor that was the custodians quarters and leave part of the floor as a big-ass patio hanging out over the cliff, with quite the amazing view. He even gave the old guy the deed for the property up here as a rather generous severance pay.”

Amazed at the lengthy story, the bunny had not felt like moving from her seat while listening. “That’s amazing! But how did you get hold of it?”

“Ah, well the old badger had no living family, you see, and he was content to live out the rest of his life in this house, living off his savings. Then one day, when he was on his way home from the grocery store, he was harassed by a group of young delinquent prey. As luck would have it, he was saved by a young todd that helped carry his groceries home and made sure he was unhurt and safe. Imagine the todds surprise when he finds out a few months later that the old guy had left him everything he owned in his will.”

“That todd was you, then?”

“Yup, got the house and a few grand in cash; not a bad reward for an hour’s work, don´t you think?” The fox was grinning now, the things a single good deed had gotten him a constant source of joy.

Add to the list: Proud smile. “Not bad at all, Slick! But, I´m really getting tired, let's get inside before we end up spending the night in the car.”

Gathering up her stuff, the two made their way up to the door; Judy noted that the front of the house had a subterranean garage under the left side, while the front door was in the far-right corner. As Nick opened the door, a corridor into the house was seen. A long line of wardrobes took up the entire length of the corridor to their right, at the end the corridor opened up into a big area with a spiral stair going down, while there opened up another corridor halfway down the corridor to their left, which is where the fox led his new bride.

“Okay,” he whispered in her ear ”if you walk straight in from the front door, that’s the main living area, kitchen, patio, dinner table, all that. Down here to the left,” he pointed as he spoke, indicating the other corridor with three doors on each side ” we have Finnick´s room first on the left, Honeys room middle left and the guestroom third on the left, that will be your room. Across from that, third on the right is my room, then middle right is the big bathroom and first on the right is the washroom. Questions?”

“Nope, all clear, except, is my room fully furnished?”

The fox scratched the back of his head. “Perhaps a little too furnished, that room has served double duty as storage. It shouldn´t be too bad though, let´s have a look.”

The two tiptoed forward, as to not disturb their housemates. Nick quietly opened the last door and turned on the lights… Not that it helped much, the room was absolutely stuffed to the gills with all manner of debris, to the point that the light fixture had a hard time to illuminate anything. The fox was stunned. HOW?

“Perhaps a little bit too furnished, yes.” Amused smile added to the list.

Nick put his paws on his head, and slowly dragged them down his face and his snout. He growled. “ _Honey!_ This can only be the work of that damn packrat! I´ve told her a thousand times to keep her shit in the damn _basement!”_

If the fox was perturbed, the rabbit only showed signs of slight amusement. “It´s fine Nick, but there is no way we´re handling this mess tonight, let's just get to bed and leave the rest for tomorrows us.”

The aggrieved fox gave her a slightly sad look. “What, one of us takes the couch? It´s a nice enough couch, but I don´t like the idea of missing my bed any more than I want a housemate to miss out on hers. It´s a fox thing.”

Well acquainted with foxes and their ideas of their den, Judy had better one. “Don’t be silly, mister Wilde! We are properly married, it´s only right we share a bed.”

Once again, the vulpine didn´t know how to react. Foxes normally don´t like to share their den, but this bunny seemed to be the exception for him. Rationally, there was no way, but his instincts screamed “YES WAY”. He wanted her, but he was not in any way ready to deal with this. He tried a feint. “Is that really a good idea, Sarge? I know you said you have no fear of preds, but there is such a thing as instinct, after all. I can´t see how any bunny is going to get any sleep with a nose full of fox-musk.”

He underestimated her. “That sounds like a challenge to me. How about a wager? If I can´t fall asleep in your bed with you in it, I´ll take the couch; but if I can, I get to decide where you sleep for the next week.” She held out her paw.

He hesitated; was it a trap? It seemed like a trap. But, he really didn´t see how she could win, what he had said was the truth. Meh. He was tired. Bugger it. He shook her paw.

“Deal. It´s a bet, Sarge.”

Pleased smile added to the list. It was getting how long now?

“Eeeexcellent. I´ll be right with you.” She grabbed her toiletries and was gone.

Slightly worried, the fox went about his own ablutions and crawled into his bed.

Less than a minute later, his wife joined him. She had appropriated one of his shirts as a nightgown, it seemed. He liked the look, no denying it. Without a word, he held up the comforter for her, and she slid right in, as if sharing a bed with her natural predator was the norm. She snuggled up to his side and laid her head on his arm.

“´Night, Nick.”

-RK-

It had been a long, long day, but now it was over. She had her fox, she was Mrs Wilde now. He obviously cared for her, even if he didn´t love her yet. She would just have to love him until he had no choice but to reciprocate, a simple plan, couldn´t fail, really. She took a deep breath and let the scent of her mate fill her entire being. She was _home._

Within three breaths, she had fallen into a deep sleep.

All was well in her world.

-RK-

The fox couldn´t believe his eyes. Or his ears. Or, for that matter, his sense of touch or his nose.

But the facts remained, his little bunny had cuddled up to him, taken a few deep breaths, and fallen asleep. She was still, her breathing was calm and regular, her heartbeat was… in time with his? That couldn´t be right, no rabbit should have that low a pulse, that indicated either a medical problem or… more likely in her case, the kind of physical fitness that would make a Zoolympic athlete green with envy. Nick was an MD, after all, and if this bunny was in any less than perfect health he´d eat his own tail.

Also, she was perfectly relaxed, not a single muscle tensed, and her scent had not a wiff of stress. He lost the bet. He sighed. Bugger it.

“Hey, Sarge…?” Nothing. He slowly lifted a paw to her ear. Amazingly, her ears that could stand stiffly straight up from her head, now had all the rigidity of a wet rag. As he pondered this mystery, he stroked her ear. Her softer-than-velvet-could-ever-dream-of-being ear.

“…mmmmhmm…*chirr*”

So she liked to have her ears stroked, eh? Good to know. 

It had been a long day, but this wasn´t so bad, was it?

Lulled to sleep by the soft feeling of a rabbit´s ear against his paw-pads, Nick left the rest to tomorrows him.

-RK-

*RING* *RING* *RING* *RING* *RING* *RI…klick.

”…hullow?”

”She messed it up.”

”Wha…?”

”The bunny. She messed it up. Somehow.”

“One moment.” *SLAP SLAP SLAP SLAP* “You were saying?”

“The bunny, she never called in anything. She got back to the station more than three hours after she left it, and all she did was file a rapport that states in very wholly language that she arrived on scene, saw some preds making a bit of a ruckus and handled it. No details, no names, no nothing. How do we proceed?”

*Paus* “We do nothing, for now. Once “Flower Power” comes active, we can use it against the fox. Otherwise, proceed as per usual.”

“Affirmative.”

*Klick.*

-RK-

**End chapter 4.**

**A/N: Wooh, longest chapter evah!**

**The next five to ten chapters will be mostly for the fluff and the lulz.**

**Then I´ll start to get into story mode again, I have an end planned and material for another 10-15 chapters.**

**I´m aware that I do it backwards, starting with marriage and build the romance from there, but that’s how I roll.**

**Poor Nick got taken on the BAMF-bunny roller-coaster, but I think he came out ahead in the end. Don´t expect him to get the memories from his last life back, he got reincarnated properly so they are gone. Not that it matters, the bond between soulmates is not a simple thing to ignore even if he tries.**

**About nicknames: In the movie, Nicks first impression of Judy was a naïve farm girl, so he stuck her with Carrots. Here, all he´s seen is the ûber-competent, fears nothing, ready to take on all comers sergeant Hopps. Thus, she is now Sarge.**

**Lastly, if you are a swede like me you should know the deal with the plan.**


	5. The joy of life and love.

**A/N: Please beware that the FinnickFox OS tm is a primitive system, only meant to be run on severely degraded devices where nothing more advanced can be operated, to give a minimum of service.**

**Rabbit karma Chapter five.**

Judy awoke slowly, and found herself in an achingly familiar position, wrapped in fox. Sometime during the night, they had changed position; she was now the little spoon to Nicks big spoon. Nicks long, fluffy tail ended up as the littlest spoon though; Judy had her arms wrapped securely around it, her nose buried in the tip.

Luxuriating in the feeling of her mates embrace, she closed her eyes as she breathed in deeply and cuddled in as close as possible. She had been afraid that she had pushed too far and too fast yesterday, especially with the kiss in the chapel. How tempted she had been, to make that a far deeper kiss. Luckily, she had come to her senses and made it little more than a firm peck. No point in scaring her poor fox at this stage, better to let him get used to her a bit more first. If he hadn´t been so tired when they got home he would never have accepted their current sleeping arrangements, that and he was always a sucker for a bet.

Deciding to enjoy her current situation a little longer before she got on with her plans for the day, she reached one paw up to caress and scratch her husband’s ears, cheek, neck and whatever she could reach. It was still quite early and it was her day off; there was no great hurry.

The rumbling purr that she was rewarded with was unexpected but very welcome, her soulmate might have suffered a factory reset but it was still the same soul at his core.

She could have spent most of the day just like that, but unfortunately, her bladder was not that accommodating; she would have to escape her foxy prison and start her day soon. The fox purred a little louder and squeezed her a bit firmer. She grimaced a bit at that; _very_ soon.

Fortunately, she had long experience in getting away from an overly grabby vulpine.

Grabbing her pillow, she gave it a good chinning, drenching it in her scent. Step one completed, she bit down on the pillow with her teeth, braced herself with her feet and one paw, and gave the fox an extra vigorous scratch just above his collarbone.

In response, the fox made a weird stuttering snarl/yip/purr and stretched out all his limbs for a moment before he relaxed back to his previous position. The rabbit took her chance to slide down and out of his grip, letting the pillow go just as the fox caught it in a firm embrace. His ears twitched in confusion for a moment at the unexpected consistency of his prey, but a few deep sniffs seemed to reaffirm that he had indeed caught his bunny. As his rumble started up again, the corners of his mouth crept up into a smile.

The bunny found his sleeping antics hilarious but had to keep her sniggers as quiet as possible as to not wake him. Knowing Nick, he would remain in dreamland for some time longer. She sat up on the bed and lovingly studied her cutely sleeping fox.

Then she scowled, a subsonic growl deep in her chest. There, on _her_ fox, was a small black box on a collar around his neck, its only distinguishing feature a green light in one corner. Her blood boiled in fury; she wanted the blasted thing _off of him!_

Then she stopped herself abruptly as a thought came to her, she could make that happen, couldn´t she? As a sergeant, she had the lowest required rank an officer had to have to earn the right to remove a collar at their own discretion; all she needed was the necessary removal device, one of these blue polymer barcode-scanner looking things.

She stared dumbly at the contraption in her right paw that she had just described, blinking slowly.

_‘Wait, what?’_

Quickly looking down at herself, she confirmed that, no, she was still only wearing one of Nicks green Pawaiian shirts; nothing that could have supplied her with any police issued equipment what-so-ever.

**_‘You shall never lack the tools of your chosen trade, and they will be the finest! THIS IS MY BLESSING TO YOU.’_ **

The memory of the voice-recording left to her hit like a sledgehammer; was it really possible? It just seemed a bit too convenient, but who was she to deny the words of a higher being? Still, a small test was in order.

Never letting go of the small device in her right paw for fear of losing it, she looked at her sleeping husband again and lowered her left paw to her hip. When she brought it up, she was holding a pair of fox-sized paw-cuffs. She smirked.

_‘Heh, naughty bunny.’_

Not following through on any possible kinky possibilities, she lowered her paw back to her side, and it was suddenly empty again. Curious, she looked down and tried to reach for the cuffs; nothing happened. Scowling slightly, she closed her eyes and tried again. Immediately, her paw closed around familiar metal links.

_‘So, it only works if no-one sees it? A bit weird, but I can work with it. Hmm, I wonder... ‘_

Releasing the cuffs, she reached into the shirt instead and pulled out a tranc-gun. Amazed, she put the gun away and reaches for her ears, this time coming back with a tazer in her paw.

Then, she reaches around for her tail, and she is suddenly holding a full-sized riot baton instead.

The fight to keep her laughter quiet enough not to wake up her bed mate is fierce but successful, even if only barely.

_‘An actual, bona fide ass pull! Hoo boy, Nick must have rubbed off on me way too much if all I can think about is how much fun I could have with this! ‘_

Thinking of her fox brought her back to the business at paw and let her finally get herself under control. Dismissing all but the collar key, she sneaked up to the still slumbering vulpine and held it up to the collar.

*Bee-beep*

The ease with which the thing came loose seemed somehow anticlimactic, but she nevertheless carefully removed it the rest of the way and spent a few minutes gently combing her fingers through the worn fur were the collar had been. Her fox changed his rumble to a deeper, more satisfied timber.

Apropos sleeping foxes, Judy used her incredible hearing to confirm a suspicion; yep, she could hear two other low snores in the otherwise silent house. She was the only one yet awake.

Wanting to make a good first impression on her housemates, she decided that a homemade breakfast would be a terrific start.

Right after she had made a pit-stop in the bathroom.

-RK-

Twenty minutes later, after a short bathroom break and having deposited Nick’s collar by the front door, she had prepared a rather nice breakfast with a good assortment of food. She was happy to note that the house had solid floors, so even with all the running around she had done, her soft feet made hardly any noise at all. All the better for her to be a good house mate.

(Never mind that finding an unknown mammal walking around in your house, wearing nothing but your friend’s green shirt could possibly be hard to stomach.)

Not that she was concerned about Finnick, unless he was vastly different to the little fox she remembered, she knew exactly how to get on his good side. Also, the risk of waking _him_ up unintentionally was slim and nun, because he slept like the dead. She had thought that Nick was slow to get going in the morning, but Finnick was for all intents and purposes a zombie until he got some coffee in him.

No, it was this mysterious Honey she had to be mindful of, all she had gotten out of Nick yesterday was: Female badger, inventor, big on conspiracy theories and, apparently, a pack rat. Not much to work with, so caution was the name of the game.

“Hnnnurgnn... “

Surprised, she looked up from the last touches of her food preparation and had to smile fondly; speak of the undead and they shall appear.

There, slowly shuffling forward with eyes barely opened to slits and his large ears sort of slumping at the tips, a small fennec approached. Well, she knew how to handle this, certainly.

”Good morning, Finnick! Have a seat and I will have your coffee ready in a jiffy.“

Her voice caused the small fox to stop in his tracks, seemingly confused.

After a few moments, he gave the impression of having reached a conclusion:

“Ei saa peittää. Paltkåma.“ Having said his peace, he resumed his slow shamble for the dinner table.

So slow was his advance, that by the time he reached his chair the rabbit had already served his coffee and stacked her and Nick’s portions on a large tray with folding legs, meant for breakfast in bed. Having spotted it in the guest room last night, she had decided right then to serve her fox a nice newlywed’s meal in the morning.

Wanting to make sure the fennec was sorted before she left, she observed with amusement how he grabbed his chair and looked up at it like it was Mount Everest, and he was about to climb it. Only, his right foot was rising about an inch before returning to the floor, over and over like he was stuck there. She could almost hear the sad ‘klick-klick-klick’ of a wind-up toy stuck on a carpet.

Taking pity on the poor zombie-fox, she helped him through the simply expedient of taking hold of his hips and lifting him up into his seat; an action that he took offence to even in his mostly-sleeping state, he hated to be grabbed or mammal-handled in any way. Not that Judy could blame him, such things were a constant risk for any small and cute mammal.

*Grooowl* “Donnerwetter! Perkele caramba merde!”

Amused by his multi-lingual skills in spite of his zombified state, she still felt an apology was in order. “Sorry, Finn, didn´t mean to upset you, just trying to be helpful. Why don´t you try your coffee? I´m sure you´ll forgive me if you do.” She gently put his mug in his paw and let him have a whiff of the brew inside.

*Sniff sniff* *Sniff?* “…hrrnnn? Chex mä wåsh. Tallkotte?”

“Yes, it´s coffee, a special blend just for you. Drink up!”

Seeing how the mug was starting to rise, even if it did so in ultra-slow-motion, she felt her work here was done; she grabbed the tray she had prepared and headed back to the bedroom.

*Sluuuurrrrrp…*

She smiled an angelic smile as she turned down the corridor.

-RK-

**Less than ten minutes ago, through ZombieFennec tm vision. WARNING! Slight discrepancies with reality may occur.**

*Sniff sniff sniff*

The FinnickFox awakened.

The FinnickFox smelled food.

*Guurgle*

The FinnickFox was hungry.

The FinnickFox proceeded to quickly jump out of its lair in search of sustenance.

*Thump* “…urghhh”

The FinnickFox failed to take into account the height of that first step.

*Huff huff*

The FinnickFox rapidly gathered itself and went on the hunt.

*Sniff sniff*

The FinnickFox used its superb sense of smell to locate the food source and proceeded towards it on swift feet.

*Shuffle shuffle shuffle*

Having navigated a long and treacherous path without fail, The FinnickFox´s keen eyesight spotted another being in the vicinity of the food source.

The FinnickFox ran its advanced _identify friend/foe_ program, quickly scanning the entity for all relevant data.

_‘…’_

_‘…’_

_‘…’_

_‘…green…’_

_‘…’_

_‘…’_

_‘…’_

_‘…Nick…’_

The FinnickFox, having established a positive identification of a friendly, issued a greeting.

“Good morning Nicholas. I hope you are well this fine morning.”

“Good morning, Finnick! Have a seat and I will have your coffee ready in a jiffy.”

The FinnickFox stopped. Something was wrong, it could feel it in every fibre of its being.

The FinnickFox ran its IFF program again, just to be certain.

‘…’

‘…’

‘…’

‘…female…’

‘…’

‘…’

‘…’

‘…Honey…’

‘…ERROR…’

‘…Nick≠female…’

‘…ERROR…’

‘…Honey≠green…’

‘…ERROR…’

‘…Nick≠Honey…’

‘…ERROR…’

‘…RESTART…’

‘…’

‘…’

‘…’

‘…green…’

‘…’

‘…’

‘…’

‘…female…’

‘…’

‘…’

‘…’

‘…’

‘…’

‘…’

‘…’

‘…’

‘…’

‘…’

‘…’

‘…Honnick...’

‘…’

The FinnickFox, having satisfactorily resolved the problem, issued a new statement.

“Always nice to welcome a new guest. Please join us in breaking our fast.”

The FinnickFox proceeded to its rightful place at the food source.

Unfortunately, when reaching the base of the construct that held the food source, The FinnickFox was dismayed to find that the structure that would allow it to indulge had been expanded upon to a frankly ridiculous degree.

Undeterred, The FinnickFox began ascending the structure at speed, when it was suddenly snatched out of the air and deposited at the top.

While helpful, The FinnickFox was nonetheless disagreeable to the sudden invasion of privacy.

“I say, my good mammal, that is no way to treat your betters, or for that matter your servants, even! Please show more respect for your fellow mammal.”

“Sorry, Finn, didn´t mean to upset you, just trying to be helpful. Why don´t you try your coffee? I´m sure you´ll forgive me if you do.”

A container was placed in front of The FinnickFox and its olfactory senses was affected like never before.

*Sniff sniff* *Sniff?* “What is this? Never have we smelled its like! Could this be some miraculous draught we have discovered?”

“Yes, it´s coffee, a special blend just for you. Drink up!”

The FinnickFox was positively spellbound by the elixir in its grasp. Swiftly, it raised the chalice to its lips to indulge itself.

*Sluuuurrrrrp…*

_‘Ambrosia!’_

As Finnick finally awoke properly, he found that this day seemed to be off to an unexpectedly good start. His morning coffee was the best he had ever had, truly a beverage fit for the gods! He had to ask Honnick where…

_‘Wait, what? Honnick? Who the fuck…???’_

Turning his head around so fast he damn near dislocated something, he was just in time to see a short mammal in a green shirt turn the corner.

A mammal with long, grey, black-tipped ears…

-RK-

“…muhhng…”

Honey Clarice Badger awoke with a wide yawn and a twisting stretch. Well rested after a good night’s sleep, she was happily surprised to find the air filled with tempting aromas. It was not often that one of her friends and housemates got up before her, and even if they did, they both tended to be rather useless for some time, or until after several cups of strong coffee at least. That said quite a bit more about their slowness than any particular ability on her part, though, she was only an early riser relative to the foxes.

No big wonder, then, that the smell of good eating would cause her to toss on a bathrobe and hurry to the kitchen; be a waste to miss this chance.

Turning the last corner, she was met by a queer sight; Finnick, mug in paw, sat frozen in his chair. His head turned at an uncomfortable angle, eyes and mouth open wide, an expression of shock on his features.

This very out of character behaviour worried her, just a little. “Oy, Finn? You okay, mammal?”

The sound of her voice finally snapped the fennec out of his fugue state. “Ya know, I´m either still asleep an´ havin´ a real doozy of a dream, or the reason this coffee is so good…” He sniffed his mug suspiciously. “…is that there´s some _good_ stuff in it. Either or, I coulda´ swore ah saw a bunny…”

Honey´s eyebrows went high at that statement.

“…wearin´ one ah Nick´s ugly-ass shirts.”

Honey managed to perfectly mimic Finnick´s facial expression from just moments before.

-RK-

Nicholas Piberius Wilde was dreaming. He pretty much had to be, considering he was lying in a soft bed, small soft paws were gently scratching his ears and neck, and the air was filled with the scent of good food and… rabbit? Also, since his neck was the recipient of this wonderful treatment, he had to be sans collar, ergo, all in all, he was dreaming.

Had to be.

Definitely.

No question.

_At all._

Unfortunately, he seemed to become more and more aware of the details of the dream, sounds and scents crystallizing into their component parts. This, of course, ran opposite to everything he had ever experienced in any other dream he had ever had, thus making his previous supposition more and more suspect.

Since his eyes seemed to be closed, the only logical way forward was to open them and correlate the data he had with a visual aspect.

The sheer _incongruity_ of the situation made him hesitate, though. The strong smell of musk, _his_ musk, indicated that this was his bedroom. That would make all the other data-points he had rather misplaced; none of the things they indicated should be anywhere near his room, so he naturally defaulted back to ‘being asleep and dreaming’, again.

“Wake up, sleepy fox. Time for breakfast.”

The soft, clearly _female_ voice that whispered in his ear was hard to reason away, unfortunately. His eyes snapped open whether he wanted them to or not, only to snap shut immediately. Too bright. Why was his window shutter not closed? Slowly, he peaked out through narrowed eyes, to be met with a vision of loveliness. 

There, in his room, _in his bed,_ knelt a sweetly smiling bunny, backlit by the rising sun. Wearing one of his shirts, at that.

_‘Wait, lovely? Uh, well, in this case I don´t think there is any denying it.’_

Blinking groggily, the fox was slowly starting to remember yesterday, and all that had happened.

_‘All that… really happened, didn´t it? This bunny… is my wife.’_

The bunny in question only smiled brighter. “No more snoozing, Mr Wilde, just sit up against the headboard and let me serve you.” Following her words with a number of little prods and pulls, she soon had the fox in position and placed a small table across his legs.

Amazed at the bounty appearing before him along with the highly unexpected service, he was rather confused with it all. This just wasn´t how prey behaved! “Uhm, Sarge, you know you don´t really have to do this, right? I don´t expect anything from you but being a good housemate and doing your share of the chores.”

Seating herself opposite him and starting on her tea, her sweet smile never wavered. “I know. I just wanted to start us on a high note, to show that I care. Even if our marriage is just for convenience, that’s no reason we can´t be friends at least, right? Now, dig in before it goes cold.”

Getting a strange feeling in his gut at the thought of just being friends, he grabbed a bagel and took a sip of his coffee. He would have said it was just the way he liked it, but he couldn´t. It somehow was much better than that. Black, but with a slight sweetness that he couldn´t identify.

He savoured it anyway, interposing his sips with bites of bagel until the bagel was gone. Leaning back more fully, he decided to just go with it for now; enjoy his company and this excellent coffee. Looking over the strange little table he could have sworn he had never seen before, he scratched his neck as he considered his next morsel.

Then he froze.

“Hey, Saaarge? You didn´t by any chance remove my collar, did you?” Her doing so was completely inconceivable, naturally. Not being afraid of predators was one thing, removing their collars while being in the same room was quite another.

He only asked because it was the only conclusion that made a lick of sense.

He just kept on underestimating her, it seemed.

Not even looking up from her food, she gave a factual answer. “Indeed, I did. I may not have the power to get rid of them completely, but by all that is good and just, **I will not** have a single mammal wearing one of those torture-contraptions **in my own home**. I hung the thing by the front door, by the way.”

The fox felt his fur bristle and tingles run up and down his spine. When she spoke of the collars, her voice gained a certain… _something._ Was it malice? Hate? Simple dislike? Whatever it was, it was _scary!_ Not a word he had ever connected to a cute little bunny, not before he met Judy at least, that’s for sure.

Her words about not having anyone wear one in the house sounded less like a mortal decision and more like a Commandment from on high, at that.

 _‘Damn, but that´s hot! Wait, what? Again? Dagnabit, mind! …but hang on…No, you know what? A rabbit_ that _scary and that hate those horrible collars as much as she does, that **IS** hot! And I´ll follow Finn´s advice and bite the face off any yahoo who says otherwise!’_

Feeling suddenly happy with his newfound imperative, another question rose in his mind. “That´s unexpected, but very welcome. You get to tell Finn and Honey, though. And while we are speaking of decisions, have you made one concerning our little bet, last night? You did win, after all.”

The fox was a bit nervous about this; if he was at home he wanted to sleep in his own bed. It was a fox-thing.

The bunny seemed confused for a moment, then her ears snapped up when she remembered their bet.

When she gave her reply, her ears fell behind her, slightly pink on the inside. She didn´t meet his eyes, either. “I know a few things about foxes, so there is no way I´m going to force you out of your own bed. I had kinda hoped that, maybe, possibly, we could just keep sharing? You´re warm and soft and I slept like a kit last night...”

When she tapered off at the end, Nick felt his head spinning. She wanted to stay with him? Sleep in his bed? _Their_ bed?

 _‘Is this really what she wants? Is it really what_ I _want? Hmm, she seems to be flying under the radar as far as my normal instincts are concerned, so no problems there. She really isn´t very big, so it´s not like she takes up all that much space, and her fur is_ incredibly _soft. Maybe I can pet her ears again? Also, she smells very nice, kind of sweet. Lilac, maybe? Mmm, I could just lie and hold her close and bury my nose in her neck-fur all night. Maybe she would even let me…uh…’_

Realizing that his mind had headed for the gutter, _again,_ like a running back heading for the endzone, as soon as he started thinking of Judy; he hurried to quash those thoughts for the time being.

“Uhm, Nick, are you with me? What do you think?”

Oops, he got lost in his thought for a bit. Not wanting to worry the bunny, he hurried to answer her. He gave her a roguish grin. “I think... I can handle that. You are a rather small mammal after all, and you make for a very cute bed warmer. “

Her ears had risen straight up when he started talking and a sunny smile had spread across her face, but at the end of his statement her face assumed a deadpan expression. Her eyes narrowed and her ears moved back until they stood almost straight out from the back of her skull; the worrying phrase “attack position” popped up in his head.

“Cute, am I?” Even as she spoke, she gathered her legs beneath her and did that little wiggle of her rear that felines are prone to do when they prepare to pounce.

“Uhh, Sarge? Judy?” Were her eyes glowing? He was worried now.

She _leaped._

He couldn’t help it; he instinctively raised his arms in defence and closed his eyes.

Which was too bad, really. He missed a world class piece of acrobatics, as she threw out a foot against the wall and stopped her forward motion, turning it into a tuck-roll-spin to land sitting on the fox’s left side.

Surprised by the lack of pain and feeling the thump at his left, the fox squinted his eyes open. He was met by a pair of amethyst eyes, sparkling with mischief, just as the bunny leaned into his side and placed her head on his shoulder. “Cute bunnies needs cuddles, you know.”

Bewildered, the vulpine almost went cross-eyed at finding her so close.

Undaunted, she continued. “But be careful calling bunnies cute, it can be kind of a hot button for many of us.”

Still rattled by the mood whiplash, he blinked several times. Did she just get him? Get him good? Yes, yes she did. He raised his head and let out a single, barking laugh. “Hah! “

Then he lowered his now half lidded eyes to hers and wrapped his left arm around her in a side-hug. “Sly bunny.” It was barely above a murmur.

She placed a small paw on his chest and matched his stare with her own, their noses only a bare inch apart. “Dumb fox.” The affection in her voice rinsed the words of any insult.

For a glorious moment, they sat like that, just gazing into each others’ eyes. Unfortunately, whether or not it could have led to something else would go unanswered, as the world chose that moment to interfere. The interference began with the sound of rapid footsteps and agitated voices.

“...telling you, no one’s broken in, the alarm system in this place is of my own design. It hasn’t gone off, so no break in. Simple as that.”

“Damnit, badger, I never said anyone’s busted in, all I’m sayin’ is _someone_ fixed us grub an’ it shure as _hell_ didn’t look like no fox I’ve ever seen! If Nick wants ta bring home someone to keep ‘Im company ‘an do the food, dat’s _his_ business. You don’t go bargin in to no fox’s den jus’ for dat!

“Pffft, who said anything about barging in? I just feel it’s reasonable to find out if any strange mammals are on the premises so nothing _untowards_ happens. I’ll just knock on his door like a civilised mammal.”

“ _Graaah!”_

*Knock knock*

_Civilised_ might be argued, considering the door swung open as soon as the second knock was heard. In walked a stout badger in a bathrobe and a fennec in the middle of face-palming himself.

“Good morning, Nick! Are you aware if there’s...” The badger suddenly going silent had the fennec removing his paw from his face and freezing in place just like she had.

Nick thought his friends reaction was a bit over the top; it’s not like they had caught him and Judy _in flagrante derelicto,_ as it were. He was fully prepared to accept that the situation was strange, him having breakfast in bed while having an arm around a pretty doe. Still, those bug-eyed stares and the completely frozen postures were just creepy. He attempted to break the ice. “Morning, guys. How are you today?”

Nothing. Not even a twitch. He scowled slightly. Okay for exceptional circumstances, but _come on!_ One little bunny can’t possibly have such shock value, can she? Now they were just being rude. He opened his mouth to speak, when he felt a light tap on his torso.

Looking down, he locked eyes with his bunny. She twitched her head towards the two intruders, wordlessly communicating her intentions. _Let me handle them._

He lifted an eyebrow a fraction of an inch. _Why you? They’re my friends, you’ve never even talked to them before._

She gave him a half-lidded stare and made a small gesture towards her throat. _You told me to, remember?_

He flicked his eyes up in remembrance. _Right, I did do that, didn’t I?_ A small nod to the two frozen mammals. _Their all yours, have at ‘em._

She gave him a quick smile before she hopped down from the bed, leaving the fox in confusion at what just happened. _‘Since when was telepathy on my résumé? ‘_ Hooray for subconscious reading of body language.

The two interlopers were finally starting to unfreeze, when they were re-frozen for a completely different reason; the scowl on the approaching bunny’s face was somehow _terrifying._ The way she was staring at their throats while she walked closer did not make her seem friendlier either; quite the opposite, actually. When she were little more than an arms length away from them, she finally stopped. For a moment she just observed the two. The badger at last found her courage and opened her mouth to speak.

...when the rabbit suddenly had her arm up, a dark blue coloured, gun shaped object in her paw.

“Gu...! “ Was as far as the ratel got...*bebeep-bebeep*...before the rabbit held a pair of collars in her other paw. They never even saw her move. Bug-eyed, frozen staring, take two.

“Okay you guys, listen up! Nick has a few house rules, and I’m adding one of my own: No. Collars. In. The. House! I’ll leave the key for them by the front door, you can hang your collar there when entering and put them on when leaving. If I see _anyone_ wearing one inside, then _there will be a reckoning!”_ Her voice was very much the voice of a general commanding his troops. “Do I make myself clear? “

Even more bug-eyed staring, now with a serving of disbelief. The bunnys eyes narrowed, her ears going to that peculiar almost-straight-out-from-her-head posture that seemed unique to her. Her voice was several octaves lower this time. “I asked. _Is. That. Clear? “_

This time she got a pair of rapid nods, at least. The bug-eyed staring only intensified, unfortunately.

“Great!”...aaand she was suddenly all sunshine and roses, huge smile and peppy voice. “I’ll go see to that now, ‘kay? Then we can all finish breakfast.” And she was gone. Leaving the two to their staring at empty space. Several heartbeats passed in absolute silence. Then...

“Oy, Honey?”

“Yeah?”

“Did that just happen? “

“What part? Finding Nick in bed with a rabbit, being scared shitless by said rabbit, or her taking off our collars and forbidding us from wearing them inside? “

“All ah the above.”

“Considering I have yet to consume anything today, so your suspicion of ‘good stuff’ in the coffee would not apply to me, and the fact we both saw it, I feel forced to conclude that all that did indeed just happen.”

“’Kay.” A beat. “Still don’t believe it, though.”

“That makes two of us, Finn, that makes two of us.”

One red fox had watched the proceedings in silence. To say he was entertained was an understatement. This was the best morning show ever, as far as he was concerned. Maybe he could squeeze some more fun out of this? “So what do you guys think of our newest house mate, the indomitable sergeant Judy Hopps of the ZPD?”

“WHAT!?” The response from his two friends were immediate and identical. Yes, he could indeed get some more fun out of this.

“Ah no, my bad, since she is not in uniform that isn’t quite right; no, since last night her proper name would be Mrs Judy Wilde.” Their expressions of mixed shock, bewilderment and a few other things did it.

“WAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!! ”

-RK-

An hour later, after a lengthy explanation of the situation for Finnick and Honey, Judy sat in her cruiser again, on her way to the precinct. Despite having the day off, she wore her spare uniform to save herself from the hassle of mammals seeing some random bunny driving a police vehicle, they might call the police on her! She figured that as soon as her little errand was finished, she could go home and change.

_Home_. That was an amazing thought. Her home, where she lived with her husband and two soon-to-be good friends. All thanks to the hustle of a… no, the hustle of TWO lifetimes! She had not just hustled the whole of Zootopia, but she had even gotten Nick! Oh well, she had every intention of making sure he never regretted it.

While driving, she couldn´t help but giggle to herself; Finnick and Honey´s reactions had been hilarious! Naturally, they had been suspicious of her at first, her willingness to associate with predators not a trait usually found in any prey they had met before. Honey even went so far as to ask Nick how much he was worth; implying Judy was some kind of gold digger. Luckily, Nick could shut down that suspicion then and there, by producing a copy of the very first document she had had them both sign; a prenuptial agreement that clearly stated that for the first ten years of their marriage, all their properties would be kept separate so neither of them could lay claim on the others’ belongings.

After that, things had gone smoother. Finnick had gone from frowning, to surprise, then starting to smile and ending on a heartfelt belly laugh, saying something about “hustling ‘em good “ between laughs. The small fox had always appreciated a well executed hustle, especially if he felt the victim deserving.

Honey, on the other paw, had been fascinated with the legal minutiae of Judy’s plan; she kept asking questions until Nick declared that they would have to hurry if they were going to open Wilde Times on time. Saturday was a busy day for the park, after all. Judy had watched with poorly hidden dismay as the three had put their collars back on before piling into Finnicks van, quick but friendly goodbyes exchanged. How she loathed the damn things.

Sighing, she turned her personalised cruiser into the precinct parking lot, the subject of the T.A.M.E.-collars guaranteed to bring her mood down every time. She decided that she did not want to even try to interact with her colleagues any more than she had to and simply get her errand over with as soon as possible.

Stealthing through the station, using her small size and soft feet to her advantage, Judy went as far as hiding in an empty office to let a zebra pass by just so she wouldn’t have to deal with her co-workers today; the day had started so well and she didn’t want to ruin it.

Thus it was that she arrived completely unseen to her goal; the armoury. Luckily it was in the same place as in her previous life, because she had no memory of ever stepping foot in it in her current one. For unknown reasons all her gear had been delivered to her directly.

As she snuck a peak into the armoury, she got an inkling to why; there, behind the desk for the armourer, sat a wolf. He had his back to her as he seemed to be working on something, but she would guess him to be in his late fifties. She watched in stunned silence for a while, knowing that no predators were supposed to be able to legally work on the force.

When the canine started sniffing the air and pricking his ears, she realised that her feet had used her distraction to silently carry her all the way up to his desk. The wolf had apparently gotten wind of her. Still sniffing and sporting a slightly confused expression, the old wolf spun his chair around.

Not wanting to seem unfriendly, Judy smiled up at him with a small wave. The wolf looked down and startled so badly he almost fell out of his chair.

Red light. *Bip bip bip bip*

_‘Oh no!’_

-RK-

Frank Greypaw had it better than most preds, in his honest opinion. He had a decent home, a loving family, and a job he rather enjoyed. Sure, his workplace was infested with more bigoted haymunchers than he felt was strictly necessary, but since they didn’t like him any more than he liked them, they tended to stay away from the armoury unless absolutely necessary, leaving him plenty of time for his own projects. And since the chief was a decent sort and his projects tended to be useful to the force, he was allowed to pursue his interests.

He had served as a combat engineer for most of his adult life, until a booby-trap had cost him his right foot. Finding himself medically discharged, he had been disgusted to find that his insurance didn’t even cover a proper prosthetic. Undeterred, he had hobbled out to his shed on his crutches, and when he walked out again he had done so on an artificial foot of his own creation that was superior to anything commercially available in every way conceivable.

He had tested his work by walking to the closest decent bar and get himself properly smashed. In the process of ingesting a suitable amount of alcohol to forget his current woes for a time, he had loudly complained about them to anyone who would listen. Among his complaints was a demonstration of his missing limb, along with the fact he´d had to make it himself, whereupon a hippo had leaned over in interest. “Say, that’s some mighty fine workmanship, that. You said you were in the military, right?”

Surprised by the respect shown by a prey mammal, he had answered with some trepidation. “Yeeeah? Would still be, if not for my foot. Now I gotta try to find a job for a one-legged pred.”

The hippo had given him a knowing smirk. “You know, if I have a talk with my boss I´m sure he could find a position for a mammal with your skills. Name´s Higgins, by the way.”

The rest is, as they say, history.

That had been eight years ago, by now. Today, he was fiddling with one of his inventions, a vastly improved prosthetic paw. Ever since he lost his foot, he had often returned to making improved prosthetics, for mammals less fortunate than himself. This was to be for an EMT that had lost a limb in the process of pulling a victim out of a crashed car.

Just as he was assembling the last of the fiddliest bits, his nose caught an unexpected scent. He tried to ignore it at first, but it was so out of place and kept getting stronger, so in the end he had to take notice.

_‘Is that rabbit I smell? Nah, can’t be, what would a bunny be doing down here in the bowels of precinct one?’_ Still, he was curious enough to turn his chair around and _holy shit!_ He had NOT expected to find the bunny barely five feet away, giving him a smile and a wave! The surprise almost scared him off his seat!

*Bip Bip Bip Bip*

_‘Oh shit!’_ He knew that sound intimately, the fright had caused his heartrate to spike and cause his collar to react. Too late to do anything about it, he closed his eyes tight and gritted his teeth in expectation of the pain.

*Bee-beep*

He waited. He waited some more. Nothing. ‘ _The hell?’_ Carefully, he squinted one eye open, wondering what just happened.

The sight that greeted him caused him to snap both eyes open in astonishment. There was the bunny, holding a collar-key in one paw and a collar, presumably his, in her other.

“Really, _really_ sorry about that, sir, I didn´t mean to startle you like that!” And now she was apologising. She looked apologetic enough for him to believe her, with her ears down and head slightly bowed. _‘Damn, she´s fast! …sir?’_

Quite amazed, the wolf slapped his paws to the sides of his neck. Yep, no collar. “Well well, no harm no foul I suppose. Not to sound ungrateful, but where did you get that collar-key? I´m pretty sure the ZPD don´t have any bunny-sized ones in inventory, and I should now.”

Perking right up, she slapped both collar and key down on his desk. “No, I don´t suppose you do. Other than the most obvious items, the ZPD has been rather on the slow side to acquire size-appropriate gear for me, so I have had to resort to getting my own stuff. I was hoping that you might sign the paperwork for it so its all on the up-and-up.”

Special dispensation for non-standard equipment, eh? Yes, that kind of thing was his responsibility, and since she _was_ the only officer in her weight-class, you could certainly make a case that it applied. The fact that she had the rank of sergeant also helped, of course.

That she had been respectful and quick enough to get his collar off to save him from a lot of pain was just a bonus. Really.

Deciding that she might be worth the trouble, the canine reached down into his desk and produced the required paper. “No problem, ma’am. Anything else I can help you with?”

The rabbit suddenly lit up the room with her smile. “Yes you can, that piece of paperwork you have there was something I only realised I needed when you asked about the key. No, what I really came for…” She put her badge on his desk, along with another paper, carefully folded. “…was this.”

Curious, he picked up the paper and unfolded it. His head tilted in confusion. _‘A… marriage certificate?’_ It took him a moment, then the penny dropped. “So you need a new shield with your new name, correct?”

“Yup!” Her answer was a happy chirp.

“Very well, I can do that right now, if you have the time?” He looked down at his desk for her old badge. His eyes fell on his collar. “Uhm, do you want me to put my collar back on? I feel quite calm now, I understand if you would prefer that I did.” She was just a little bunny, after all.

The look she gave the mentioned device should have left it a small molten pile. “I really rather you waited until I left. Hate the damned things. …and yes, I have the time.”

Eyebrows raised, he concluded that he didn´t feel like pressing the issue. Instead, he spent a few minutes filling in the paperwork and then getting out the tools to put her new name on a bare shield from stock. The rabbit hopped up to sit on the corner of his desk, watching him work.

“If you don´t mind me asking, how come you work here? I was under the impression that no predators were allowed to work in the police-force.” Her tone was curious, lacking any accusation.

He answered her without looking up from his work. “True, we can´t be officers, and usually an officer serves as the armourer, but strictly speaking the armourer doesn´t have to be an officer. It´s a bit of a loophole, but I had special skills so I got the job.”

(Special skills were right, Judy clearly remembered a kind wolf in his late seventies that had been a pioneer in the field of prosthetics and had helped her with her new legs, back in her last life. A wolf by the name of Frank Greypaw.)

“So a predator can work for the ZPD, just not as an officer, huh?” That little nugget made Judy’s mind come up with some… _interesting_ ideas.

“That’s the gist of it, not that the force has use for many besides me. Now, if _you_ don’t mind, I have a question of my own.” The wolf had missed her thoughtful/devious look, never looking away from his craft.

Already feeling perfectly at ease with the older canine, she didn´t hesitate. “Shoot.”

Still having eyes only for the shield he was fashioning, he asked: “What kind of name is Wilde, for a bunny? It doesn´t sound like any rabbit I´ve ever heard of.”

Giving the larger mammal a sharp look, Judy considered him for a moment. Then she took a leap of faith. “Have you ever heard of Wilde Times?”  
  


_That_ made him look up. “ …my young nephew might have mentioned it, sometime.”

Her smile was definitely on the devious end, with a side of smug satisfaction. “Boy, do I have a story for you…”

-RK-

45 minutes later and another stealthy walk through the precinct, Judy hopped back into her cruiser, new badge on her chest.

She felt she had made a new friend today, Mr Greypaw had listened to her story with rapt attention and laughed quite hard by the end. They had shared some other small talk as he finished her badge and she had offered him a free ticket for himself and a plus one of his choice to Wilde Times. She´d pay for it out of her own pocket if Nick didn’t feel like giving out any freebies.

Speaking of Nick, she pulled out her phone and rang his number before she strapped in and started the car. As she pulled away from the curb, the fox picked up.

-RK-

Said fox was looking out from his office window, feeling more content than he ever could remember, when his phone rang.

“Hello, Nick Wilde speaking.”

“Hi Nick!” That cheerful voice was unmistakable.

“Hey there, Sarge! How is it going?”

“Just fine, I´ve finished my errand at the precinct, so I thought I´d go shopping for a bit and then go home and install myself properly. Is it okay if I grab something from the guestroom? I think I saw a small shelf with hooks in there, perfect for hanging collars on.”

Still feeling amazed at her opinion of the collars, something else she had said caused his mood to go down several notches. “That’s fine, go right ahead. I really need to talk to Honey about the guestroom, though. What she did with it is just not okay.”

A paus. “…you remember I said I know some things about foxes?”

“Well, yeah?”

“Do you reckon she´s deserving of a… getting?”

That was rather shocking. _‘Where in Karmas name has she learned about something like_ that?’ “I… suppose it is deserved, yes. Why, did you have an idea?”

“I just might. I thought I could start with making dinner tonight, and then…”

By the time she had explained her idea, the fox was in complete agreement, laughing hysterically, and absolutely convinced that Judy had to be some kind of vixen, long ears and short tail notwithstanding.

-RK-

**And done! I think the last chapter took some out of me, it took me much longer to get this one typed out.**

**But here it is, more humours and light-hearted, but with several Chekovs guns prepped and ready.**

**A fox-getting is curtesy of Sarsis´ Guardian blue, by the way.**


	6. Preparations for a new

**AN: Prepare for a getting unlike any other, with unexpected and far-reaching consequences.**

**Rabbit karma Chapter six.**

Stuart Hopps was a happy rabbit. It was the weekend, the weather was sunny and nothing was amiss. All he was doing was taking a little walk across the farm, enjoying the sights of his home and his children playing. All was well in his world.

“Growl!” *Crash! *

Sighing internally, the farmer lengthened his stride towards the barn the commotion originated from. He should have known better, with so many kits around the peace never lasted for long.

“Not too shabby, but instead of _saying_ growl, it might be more realistic if you _actually_ growled, brother mine.”

Even more confused about what was going on, Stu opened the barn door wide, exposing a dozen of his kits in the low-to-mid teen range. Only two were girls, of the more tomboyish type, while the rest were boys. Ten of them were standing in a rough semi-circle, watching one male gnawing on a floored straw-dummy. The last one, whom Stu identified as sixteen-year-old Malcolm and the previous speaker, was using one of the family’s film cameras on the gnawer.

“What in tarnation is going on here?” His words made up for their lack of anger with a hefty dose of bewilderment.

The sound of his voice immediately gained him the attention of everyone present. As Malcolm spun around, his face lit up with an honest smile. This soothed the nerves of the father of many, whatever his children were up to his son was at least convinced that it´s not something Stu would disagree with.

“Hi dad! It’s good you’re here, if you help out, it’ll look much more believable!”

The farmer blinked. Twice. “Maybe if you tell me what you’re up to, I might?”

Fourteen-year-old Marie pumped her paws in the air and all but yelled the explanation. “We’re helping Judy pull a practical joke on some ah dem city slickers!”

Stuart Hopps was now surprised, pleased and relieved. Surprised, because his most fearless kit had never been one for pranks before. Pleased, because this meant that she was lightening up and had friends to pull a prank on. And relieved, because Judy was a sensible doe and would not take things too far.

“I’m pretty sure that if it’s something Judy thought up, I can help you out with a clear conscience. So, what has she gotten you up to, then?”

Malcolm smiled widely and shared a giggle with his siblings, as he gestured for his father to follow him to a small folding table with a laptop, set up against the wall. “I think you´ll get the gist of it if you read this, it´s something Judy set up already. It´s the craziest, most devious thing I´ve ever seen!”

Intrigued, the older buck sat down in front of the computer and put on his reading galsses.

 _‘Very well, let´s see what all the hulabaloo is about… hmm, wikipawdia, huh… some article about…_ _“_ Hugbears _?...” uhh, wait, what?”_

Reading through the article, the elder buck felt his disbelief skyrocket, until he got to the end. Turning to Malcolm, all he could do was give his offspring a wide-eyed look and gesturing with both paws towards the laptop with spread-out fingers. Luckily, his boy understood the gesture, and answered with a mischievous look. “You see, dad, Wikipawdia is like a public encyclopaedia, meaning anyone can add to it if they have knowledge about a certain subject, and then others will critique it, adding their own knowledge or flat-out claim its false. This makes it more-or-less self-correcting, and gives you access to pretty much all knowledge of mammal-kind in one place. Of course, it’s not flawless, and new articles may float around for some time before they´re either corrected or removed if they are wrong. Did you notice the name of the author, by the way?”

Stu blinked several times, again, while he took in and processed what he´d just been told. Then he turned back to the laptop, scanning the end of the article for the author: ‘Judas Therion Doodson.’

_‘Judas…? What does that have to do with…? Wait, Judas, Jude, Jude the d… oh. Oh!’_ Turning back to his son, Stu now matched his kits devious looks with one of his own. “So, Judy asked you to make a video that makes this seem more likely, did she?”

His teenage son was absolutely giddy by now. “Yup, she called about an hour ago to tell me about this and asked if we could fake a sort of training montage. In hindsight, it should of course be something that the elder generation taught to their children, you know, so we learn the… _proper_ ways.”

Feeling himself be caught up in his offspring’s mood, Stu took off his glasses and stood up with a grin from ear to ear. This was going to be _great_! He hadn´t had a chance to practice his acting skills since he was in high school!

(Little did Judy know that she came by her penchant for overacting honestly, if from an unexpected source.)

“Okay kits, gather around and let your old buck show you how it´s supposed to be done!”

Cheering ensued and much fun was had.

-RK-

**An hour and a half earlier, Wilde Times, Zootopia.**

“HAHAHAHAHAHAA!”

Finnick ´s large ears twitched, recognising the laughter as originating from his best friend. He found that strange; while Nick always smiled and seemed as happy as a clam twenty-four/seven, Finnick knew that it was mostly a mask, part of that “don´t let them see that they get to you” he had going on, and the red todd almost never let himself show how he truly felt. But now he was suddenly married, to a _bunny_ of all things, and even if they claimed that it´s just a marriage of convenience Nick has now let off an honest-to-goodness _belly laugh_ twice in the same day! _And it wasn´t even lunch yet!_ Normally, the fox only let himself go like that when he had overindulged somewhat.

Letting his ears lead him, the fennec set out for the larger fox; they needed to talk anyway, finding out what was so funny was just a bonus. Soon spotting him, Finnick was just in time to overhear the last words shared over a phone call: “ _…call to my little brother Malcolm, this is just up his alley! Then I´ll go shopping for something suitable for dinner tonight, I´ll make sure to sell it to her. Oh, don´t forget to get Finnick in on it too!”_

Nick seemed awfully happy, his tail sweeping back and forth and a wide grin on his muzzle. “Sure thing, Sarge! Don´t you worry, I will handle things on my end! You sure you´re not really just a very unusual vixen? You´re sure living up to the Wilde name!”

_“Nope, sorry, just your everyday police-bunny, I´m afraid! Talk to you later, Nick!”_

“Yes, because rabbit officers are a dime a dozen, right? See you later, Sarge.”

Watching his old friend hang up with a happy grin, Finnick felt his curiosity skyrocket. Those two were up to something, all right. Time for some good ol´ third degree!

Walking up to the taller mammal, he got straight to the point. “Yo, Nick! Was´ this about lettin´ me in on what?”

“Hey, big guy! Those head-sails of yours serve you well, I see. Yes, we have planned for a _getting,_ well earned and epic in scope, one for which your assistance will be of utmost importance!“ As usual, the red fox was not easily flustered, but got right into it himself.

While the answer was unexpected, the fennec hoped he knew the target. “A _gettin´,_ eh? Does that mean you heard a certn´ sandwich peddler we know was late t´day, _again, for tha third time in two weeks!”_ Finnick had to take a breath and calm himself. “The guy don´t have a mean bone in i´s body an´ he´s great with tha costumers, but i´tda be sweet if bunny cop could scare im straight, ya know. _”_

Nick seemed a bit surprised at first, to then scowl slightly and lower his face to rub his lower jaw in a thoughtful pose. “No… no, I didn´t know that, but…” A mischievous smile bloomed on his features. “…I do think you have the right of it.” He produced his phone again and spent a moment to rattle off a text.

Finnick observed this with a deadpan stare and a feeling of slight disbelief. “So, who were ya gonna get if not our lazy-ass sandwich-seller? An´ what ya mean, I ‘got the right of it’? Ya really think bunny-cop is gonna help ya with somethin´ like that?”

*Pling!*

Instead of answering, Nick checked his phone, smiled, and held it out to be read:

- _Sure Nick, I´ll be by as soon as I´m done with shopping._ _😉_ _-_

Finnick blinked. “Well… I guess she will?” He really didn´t know what more to say.

Looking far too pleased with himself, the larger todd put away his phone. “Indeed she will, and as for the _first_ getting, weeeell, please tell me my house rules if you would.” At the end, he seemed rather more serious.

Even if the seeming non sequitur surprised him, Finnick mentally shrugged and decided to roll with it. “Not much too em´, do your bit a´ de cookin´ an´ cleanin´, your room is yours and no one else´s an´ that goes for ev´ryone, ya clean up your own mess, try not ta be to much of a douche when others need sleepin´ an´ keep tha heavy duty stuff in tha basement an´ not cluttering up the rest of the house. Ain´t gunna hear me complainin bout none of it, since followin´ em is all ya charge for rent.” He was very happy about the arrangement, truth be told, since Nick took his part of the utility bills from his pay at Wilde times it was all wonderfully hassle free. Not only did he get a nice, big house to live in with his closest friends, but he had a place to look after his pride and joy; his van. It was a sweet setup, the garage was pretty much his domain while the rest of the cellar was taken up by Honeys workshop and storage for all the junk she used to build her inventions. _‘As long as she too remembers the rules, of course. Ya´d think she had ´nugh room for her crap.’_ He inwardly scowled at the thought before another hit him. “An´ since ya havn´t said otherwise, ah guess ‘no collars in the house, or else’ is gonna be on the list, yeah?” _That_ was the kind of rule he could get behind.

“Absolutely, one-hundred percent.” Nick looked very pleased to agree, too. “And since our favourite officer only asked for a place to stay as payment for all her help yesterday, I offered her the guestroom for as long as she kept to the same house rules as the rest of us. I mean, it´s not like anyone ever used it, and she seemed like pleasant enough company. But do you remember how you found us this morning?”

Finnick felt his ears practically snap back against his skull. “Not like ah´m ever gonna forget that! But… wait, hol´ on there…” His left paw came up to pinch the bridge of his nose as an annoying suspicion crept up in his mind. He had closed his eyes, but as he could all but _feel_ Nick opening his mouth to speak he raised his other paw in a STOP sign. “Don´t tell me, ah can see it in mah´ head; ya opened tha door ta show bunny-cop her new digs, an´ it was filled to tha rafters with Honeys crap, yeah? An´ then you felt bad abou´ not holdin´ up your part of tha deal an´ offered her ya own bed, an´ her perantly knowin´ too damn much bout foxes refused ta take it from ya so you two somehow ended up charin´. Sound about right?” He dropped his paw from his muzzle and gave his friend a half-lidded stare.

The larger fox seemed duly impressed. “Very astute of you, my dear Wattshound. Now, do you agree that a getting is deserved? You live in the same house too, you get a say in this.” Nick lifted an inquiring eyebrow.

Finnick waved it off with a paw. “Well an´ truly deserved, ain´t the first time she gone an´ pulled this shit. Jus´ tell me what Mrs Wilde have planned, ah wanna know if da bunny can live up to bein´ a vixen or not.”

Nick grinned and told him.

“BWAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!”

-RK-

Having finished her shopping, dropped of the groceries at home and collected a change of civilian clothes, Judy once more parked her cruiser outside the building that housed Wilde Times. As she slammed the door shut and locked it, she sniggered to herself as her shopping trip came to mind. Apparently, some of her items were not standard fare for rabbits and got her some rather peculiar looks from fellow shoppers and the cashier. _‘Oh well, none of their beeswax.’_

As she threw her bag of clothes across her back, she turned just in time to see Nick coming round the corner of the building.

She was pretty sure that no thought whatsoever was involved in what happened next. One moment she was standing next to her car, the next she had somehow crossed the space between them and had her fox in a tight hug, her nose in the ruff of his neck.

Feeling slightly chagrined at her own reaction, she looked up at her husband with a shy smile. “Hi, Nick.”

-RK-

Having clued in Finnick on the plan for Honey to the fennec’s great amusement, Nick spent the next hour just walking around his life’s work, simply basking in the visitor’s joy. When he had started up his amusement park, all he really had planned was to make a killing on the guaranteed attraction for predators to be free of their collars for a while, but the longer he kept it up the more important his guests joy became. It was almost like he could feel his very soul grow lighter day by day.

At the beginning, he had been prepared to take his savings and make a run for it if he had been discovered, but now he was ready to fight for what he had created. It was _important._

*Beep beep beep*

Startled out of his deep thoughts by the alarm he had set on his phone, the fox made his way for a hidden service exit as he turned off the noise. It was time to meet up with Sarge for the planned intervention.

A sigh escaped him at the thought of the irascible bunny; the sudden spikes of emotion concerning her had started to even out. That was good. Possibly less good was how his feelings for her had evened out on a rather higher-than-comfortable level and showed no signs of weakening.

*Sigh.*

At least, his walk around Wilde Times had given him some time to think. The first thing he had done was decide that while he was far from a grizzled old grey-muzzle, neither was he a blushing teenager; he would examine his own feelings and thoughts honestly and leave denial a river on a far-off continent.

That said, his reaction at the first sight of her was puzzling to the fox. Sure, after he had gotten to know her better he might have come to at least like her, as she had proven in just a day to be kind, helpful and brave but no matter all she had done for him in very short order since, it did not explain his immediate attraction. Considering he had not ever felt so much as a twinge of desire for any mammal that wasn’t a vixen, least of all a prey-mammal, the whole thing baffled him.

Wracking his memory for an explanation had yielded exactly nada, so he had instead tried to think it through logically which had awarded him a possible answer: Judy was by any standard physically strong, lean and fast; she was also knowledgeable, intelligent and clever. On top of that, she was fearless and had the sheer chutzpah to have both Honey and Finnick, two of the toughest and most contrary mammals he had ever met, pretty much standing at attention in terror.( The mental image still made him snicker internally.)

Had she been a vixen, that would have made her all but irresistible, so Nick figured his instincts had picked up on that and gotten his wires crossed straight across the species divide.

As theories goes, it felt rather flimsy to the fox, but short of some supernatural hijinks or some very sudden new predilection of his it was the best he could come up with. At the very least it could give him a reason as to why her presence in his den didn’t trigger any of his normal fox instincts about intruders, it was all just so _damn sudden_.

There was also Judy herself to consider, did she have any romantic feelings for him? Or was her physical affections simply how any rabbit would behave if Mother nature passed them by when she was doling out a sense of fear? (As much as a fearless rabbit seemed like an oxymoron.)

... Which led him to the only logical conclusion; he didn’t have enough information. But since the current situation was, if not strictly under control than at least not really _bad_ , he would simply roll with it. When and if things changed, he would take it from there, hoping that he would know more at the time.

Feeling much more sanguine about life after that decision, he opened the door and stepped outside. _‘Perfect timing, I see.‘_ And indeed, the doe of his thoughts had just parked and locked her car, turning to catch sight of him...

_‘Oooff!’_

_..._ and then he must have blinked, because she suddenly had her arms around him in a tight hug, her face pressed against his neck.

So surprised was he, that he just kind of stood there, looking down on the bunny with wide-open eyes. At least until she looked up to meet his gaze, looking rather shy and embarrassed, far from her usual fearless go-getter self. “Hi, Nick.”

Her quiet voice and the rosy hue around her eyes broke him out of his stupor, as his paws came up, one to hug her closer and the other to stroke down her long ears. With a chuckle, he marvelled at her abrupt change. “So, is this a thing now? This is how it´s going to be, sudden attacks of bunny-hugs, eh?”

She took half a step back, making him instantly miss the physical connection, but still leaving her paws gripping his shirt. “A ha ha, yeah I don´t know quite what came over me, I just saw you and then I was hugging you, I guess we´re still in the honey-moon phase, huh?” Her obvious embarrassment made it clear that, yes, she was equally surprised by her own actions.

Letting his arms fall to take her paws in his, the todd glanced around the large, empty lot. This was probably as much privacy as they were going to get. _‘Suppose I might as well put all that soul-searching to good use, no time like the present.’_ The fox gathered his courage for his next words.

“Our honey-moon, yes, about that, is your current behaviour indicative of some tender feelings, or is it just how a rabbit without fear acts? Bunnies are supposedly gregarious mammals, and you proved that you have no fear of preds last night when you slept like a babe on my arm.”

The bunny made a slight snort of disdain. “Like a babe? Most certainly not. In my experience, that means sleeping fitfully and waking up screaming in the wee hours of the night because you pooped yourself.”

*Snort!* “Hehehehe…” Her deadpan delivery made it extra funny. The fox quickly gathered himself. “Okey, point! But! Don´t try to change the subject. Now tell me, Sarge, why is it that a beautiful and successful doe in her prime like you, is so eager to sacrifice so much to stay with a mammal, a _fox,_ like me?”

She squeezed his paws, closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Then she looked straight into his eyes and spoke with sincerity. “Thank you for the compliment, Nick, but I think you´ll find that my beauty and success is mostly seen as such from the perspective of a predator like you. No!” She held up her paw to silence him just as he opened his muzzle to protest. “I´m serious! Just let me explain, this might take a while, okay?” He still wished to raise his disagreement, but in the end he just nodded.

She took a deep breath and let it out slowly. “Okay, so, I decided that I was going to be a cop when I was just nine years old, and I have worked my whole life since to make it happen. The most basic requirement for that is physical, can´t be an officer if you can´t catch the bad guys, right? So I´ve spent a lot of time and effort into moulding my body and make it as strong and fast as possible.” She gave a wry smile. “I think I made a pretty decent job of it, but unfortunately my slim build is pretty much the opposite of what most bucks want; they want a doe with far more curves that can give them a lot of kits, so as a bunny that is strike one against me.”

The fox was flabbergasted. _‘So what makes her so physically attractive to a fox like me is the same attributes that make her undesirable to a buck? Well well, you live and you learn.’_

“As for my successful career, the majority of rabbits are happy to live up to, or down to as the case may be, any and all stereotypes about bunnies. Since I simply do not, I was considered a weirdo for most of my life. Rabbits are _not_ police-officers, simple as that. So that’s strike two against me."

To Nick, that sounded rather awful. All foxes knew how they were seen as untrustworthy thieves, so if one of them managed something better, none of them would hold it against him. Or her. On the other paw, you didn´t necessarily throw a fellow fox under the bus if he was forced to resort to underhanded methods to feed himself and his family; being stereotyped as an _untrustworthy thief_ made it so darned hard to find a proper job, after all.

All that meant that most foxes only adhered to their stereotype for the sake of survival; most of them would never follow it if they had the choice, and anyone who _did,_ well, they were just weird.

And Judy claimed that a majority of bunnies _actively_ _sought_ to follow _their_ stereotypes. Unthinkable.

Unaware of Nicks thoughts, Judy continued her explanation, even as it more and more turned into a rant. “So, since I was a bony wierdo, most of my classmates considered me un-dateable. My parents and siblings noticed this and just _had_ to help me get over this terrible hurdle; after all, finding a mate and have lots of kits is _the_ most important thing to any _real_ bunny! That meant that from when I was fifteen and a half, or there about, they somehow managed to set me up with a new date on average two or three times a month, for the next _two and a half YEARS_!”

Her near shout at the end had the poor fox almost jumping out of his skin. At least he had a good idea about how to handle the situation; pull the panting doe into a tight hug, wait until she reciprocated, then stroke her ears gently and mumble a few soothing words into them. He was uncertain exactly _how_ he knew that, but he had her calmed down again in just a few minutes.

“Better now?” Hugging his bunny came more and more natural to him; she fitted in perfectly just under his chin if he just lowered his head a bit; like two pieces of a puzzle.

“Much better, thank you.” And wasn´t that just the damndest thing, that despite all the physical affection she seemed more than ready to heap upon him, it was the little _thank you_ that got to him most? Foxes tended to go without those smallest of courtesies between mammals, like _please_ and _thank you_ , so her offering it without a second thought hit him right in the feels.

Swallowing the lump in his throat, the fox scrambled for a new piece of conversation. “ _So,_ you went on an awful lot of dates in your teens, right? And you´re telling me that with all of those, you didn´t find a single good one?”

A slightly dark chuckle preceded her answer. “Not a single one. Told you I was considered un-dateable, so that filtered out a lot of the potentially good ones from the start. Then came the fact that my mother and sisters apparently think it _inconceivable_ that what makes _them_ happy with a buck is not the same things that make _me_ happy, no matter how I tried to explain it. After a few months, I think they just set me up with anyone they could get their paws on, figuring that if they kept throwing bucks my way they had to find one that stuck. I guess they tried to mitigate their lack of matchmaking-skills with sheer bloody-mindedness.” *Scoff.* “Didn´t work. Only three of those bucks ever even managed well enough that I chanced more than one date.”

Keeping up the stroking of her ears, he let her rub her face into the scruff of his neck; he felt rather mellow too by now and wanted to learn more about his weird bunny. “Oho? Want to tell me about those repeat offenders?”

“The first one just wanted into my pants, he was one of the earliest dates. He fooled me a bit by burning all his manners on the first date, thinking he could demand a cash-in on the second.”

“Why do I get the sense that he miscalculated?”

*Chuckles.* “Let’s just say that he is lucky that we rabbits grow our front teeth our whole lives. The second one was a _reeeeal_ smooth talker. So smooth, in fact, that halfway through our second date, he left with another doe on his arm.” She lifted her head from his neck to look up at him, giving him a wry grin. “She was one of my sisters, a year older than me. She had no idea about the situation, so she was understandably distraught when she found out. She made sure that guy never had a chance with another doe in Bunnyburrow, spreading the word about what an ass he was.”

“Ohhh, is that really acceptable language from a civic servant such as you?” The teasing grin came with a slow back and forth sweep of his tail. “So that’s one slimy sleazeball and one smooth sleazeball. What kind was the third? Rough, pretty, rich, self-absorbed, all of the above?” His grin grew just a little wider. “Lemon-lime?”

The light slap to his shoulder came without a moment’s hesitation. “Ha ha, fox, very funny. But I guess Andy, Andy Skippson, really was a pretty-boy. The only one I went on a third date with. I really couldn´t understand at first why he wanted to go on a date with me, we moved in completely different circles and I felt he wasn´t anything like what I wanted in a boyfriend. But on the other hand, he was easy on the eyes, easy to get along with, and he could actually carry a conversation for more than five minutes. He was such a pleasant break from my usual dating routine that I was happy to keep seeing him, if only to avoid the regular fare.” Her face turned rather wry, again. “And then halfway through the third date, he started tearing up and confessed he only went out with me because he needed a beard, turns out he was too scared to tell his parents about his _boyfriend.”_

Nick´s tail stopped mid-swing, his eyes popping wide open. “Whoa, plot-twist! Was there much drama?”

The doe shook her head slightly. “Nah, I never had any romantic aspirations towards him to begin with and he apologized so profusely; I basically gave him a big hug and told him I felt he was a great friend but a poor choice for a boyfriend; then wished him the best of luck with his paramour and offered to keep up the facade until he got things settled. Surprisingly, he told me he had been inspired by my drive and courage, so he had already made plans for coming out to his folks.” She smirked. “ _Then_ there was indeed some drama, but last I heard, it had all come out all right in the end.”

Still holding the bunny in a lose hug, Nick contemplated her story for a bit. It was surely interesting, but it led to more questions. “I can´t help but wonder why such a, uhm, _self-reliant_ doe like you put up with all those dates for so long? Surely your family would have understood if you explained just how awful they were?”

*Sigh.* “Yeah, probably. But my going along with it was pure calculation on my part. I figured that if they thought I might settle down any day, they wouldn´t try to hinder my plans in any other way. Guess it kind of worked in the end, shortly after Andy I skipped off to higher education, and out of reach of the family for several years. Then I trained at the ZPA and joined the force right after, so no more dates for me.”

His grip on her tightened a tad. “Are you okay with your folks? Any hard feelings?” He wasn´t even going to pretend that he was less than protective of her by now.

She looked up at him with a sweet smile. “Nope, I guess with me gone we have drifted apart somewhat, but there were never any harsh words and a big falling out. I suppose a certain estrangement is only natural, considering how different I am from the average bunny, but I still talk to my family on a regular basis.” Then she surprised him by rising up on her toes and rubbing her nose against his. “Thank you for worrying.”

The poor vulpine felt like his nose had gotten hit with a fox-tazer, his heart thundering as he went cross-eyed. Hug, nose-rub and another thank you. Triple whammy straight to the heart. His voice was somewhat hoarse and not entirely steady when the bunny backed off slightly. “So that´s why your single, I get it. But still, why _me?_ ”

He got a half-lidded stare in response. “You´re handsome and have a long, fluffy tail?” At his bewildered look, she looked him straight in the eyes and spoke with certainty. “Nicholas Piberius Wilde, you have your own company where you pretty much sell _happiness,_ you share your home with your friends for the price of their share of the chores, and you were fully intending to give up your _own bed_ just to keep your word to me.” Her grasp around him suddenly tightened considerably. “I fully intend to hold on to you, because the odds that there is someone _better_ for me out there are so astronomical that it´s not even funny.” Suddenly, her courage seemed to escape her as she lowered her eyes and spoke much quieter. “If… if that´s okay? You… haven´t said anything about how _you_ feel about this…”

The fox was… speechless. His mind churned with disparate thoughts, because this rabbit made no sense what-so-ever. Find a hangar full of uncollared preds? Just waltz right in.

Deciding to get a job that is impossible for your species? ‘What is this… _impossible_ you speak of?’

Finding loopholes in the law and _screw over_ _society as a whole_ just so you can do what you feel is right? _Which time?_

 _SHARING A BED WITH YOUR SPECIES ANCIENT PREDATOR?_ Snore fest. _Literally._

But the possibility of his displeasure with her makes her go all timid and quiet? Really? Nick felt that the correlation between these things somehow flew above his head.

It was all just too much, he had received emotional shocks one after the other, to the point that all his usual barriers were in ruins and tatters. Nick Wilde decided then and there that this time, he would tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth; it´s not like his current mental state allowed for anything else, anyway. He reached out and gently cupped her chin in his paw, lifting her head until their eyes met.

“When I saw you in my office yesterday, my very first thought was ‘ _Beautiful’!_ And wasn´t that a shocker? I can honestly say I have never thought of another species quite like that ever before. I was rather wary of you at first, I didn´t see how dealing with a ZPD-officer, a _bunny,_ could end well for me. But then, you just… did your thing? All my worries about you? Unfounded! All my fears for my business? POFF, gone! And never coming back!” He paused for a moment to take a deep breath, before he continued in a lower voice. “You have done so much to make my life better in the last day that it boggles the mind, and you have asked so very little in return. I, who is used to receive scorn and hatred from all quarters, suddenly find myself craving this unexpected care and kindness you heap on me. You ask how I feel? I feel like I want to know how much better your continued presence can make my life. Stay with me?” So saying, he softly pressed his nose against the wide-eyed bunny´s.

A gasp. A pair of tears. A single, half-choked “ _Yes!”._

At some point, they had both closed their eyes, and just stood like that for some time, nose to nose in each other’s arms. Lost in their own little world.

_‘Should I have tried for a kiss? No no, don´t be greedy, fox! This is perfect as it is. For now.’_ Well, nothing lasts forever.

And so, with mutual regret, they finally separated, no matter how much their paws lingered together.

The fox was sporting a bit of a thousand-yard stare, though. The bunny took notice. “Nick? What’s up?”

His expression did not change. “It´s just, did we just agree to give this weird marriage of ours a serious chance? Just like that?”

Her head tilted slightly in confusion. “Yeees? We communicated our feelings and wishes and agreed that we both wanted the same thing. Is that a problem? It is something intelligent adults does sometimes.”

The vulpine snorted. “Not in my experience, they don´t! Especially not when it´s something this emotionally charged. Not that I necessarily want it, but where is the turmoil, the yelling and screaming, where´s all the drama?” He was serious; for some reason he could not understand himself, he had the feeling that no couple should get together in this painless a manner.

His wife did not seem impressed, giving him an even stare with her arms crossed. “That kind of emo waffling is for teenagers, just be glad we are too mature for that sort of behaviour. Nick, I grew up with more than a hundred sisters; drama for the sake of drama gets really old, _really_ fast! Trust me on this one.”

The absolute certainty in her voice calmed the fox right down. He took several deep breaths and ran his paws over his head and down over his ears. “Right, right, you´re totally right, don´t know why I freaked out like that. But still, even if you and I are fine with this, aren´t you worried about, I don´t know…” He made an all-encompassing circular wave with his paw. “…friends, family, colleges and the rest of the world? I don´t think many are going to be as accepting of our relationship, you know.”

If he expected worry or doubt, he was sorely disappointed. She did not so much as blink as she held out a paw, fingers outstretched. “Okay, in order then: I´m a bit short on friends at the moment, so no worries there.” She folded one finger down. “As for my family, they have proven beyond every shadow of doubt that their ability to identify a potential good mate is beyond abysmal. As such, they _will_ accept my choice in the matter, _and BE HAPPY about it,_ or there _will_ be a… **reckoning.”**

That last word made the vulpine freeze in a good approximation of a fox statue, his neck-fur standing at rigid attention. He had never known that such existential dread could be expressed in only three syllables.

Another finger went down. “I am pretty much a pariah at work already, through no fault of my own, so my _esteemed co-workers_ can find a short pier and take their opinions for a long walk for all I care.” A third finger, leaving only her index finger in the air. “As for the rest of the world…” She swept her paw to the side, as if she was swatting away a pesky housefly. “…meh.”

The fox was astounded. The whole wide world, dismissed just like that? “Meh?”

Assured nod. “Meh.”

Blink. Blink. Head-tilt. Shrug. “Meh.”

Blinding smile… aaand a repeat of the bunny´s blink-and-you´ll-miss-it rib-bruising hug-attack.

The fox let out a shocked laugh, letting his arms come up around the bunny again. Then he let his gaze roam around the overgrown, mostly empty lot they were standing in; he needed to remember this moment. Finding nothing noteworthy, he instead looked up. Up, into a deep blue sky, not obscured by a single cloud.

Nick closed his eyes with a smile from ear to ear.

_‘Meh.’_

-RK-

**AN: Hoo boi, this was a long time coming. Some of it is Corona´s fault, in an ass-backwards secondhand way giving me lots of work and not letting me stay at home and write like some people. But mostly just because RL robbed me of my zeal for writing after I started so strongly.**

**Anyway, this chapter was supposed to end at the end of the day in story, but when I got this far I realised I was just about halfway and I was already at over 6000 words. Well, fuck that, this was a good endpoint, the rest of the day gets its own chapter.**


	7. The greatest getting.

**AN: A getting unlike any other, this time for sure.**

**Hadn´t planned for this to take so goddamned long, but instead we start the new year with the longest chapter I´ve ever written.**

**_A big thanks to Sir Archibald Haddock and Mr Head & c/o for ideas for the competition._ **

**Rabbit karma Chapter seven.**

In his booth in the middle of Wilde Times, a big cheetah was restocking his shelves with fresh sandwiches and pastries of every kind. A garish sign above him declared **“Claw-House of sandwiches and goodies.”** Let’s just say that his way with puns is worse than even Nicks, and leave it at that.

Humming quietly to himself while he worked, the portly feline hoped that the owner of the place wouldn’t notice him being a bit late today. He really hadn’t meant to be, but Gazelle, The Angel with Horns, was running a special this whole month; Every third day she would release one new song from her latest album. He just couldn´t help himself, he just had to hear it as soon as he could. And then, of course, he always lost track of time chatting about it online.

Thus, after three songs he had overslept a bit for the third time today.

_‘Oh well, Nicholas is a kind mammal, he won´t be too mad.’_ He thought as he filled up the last shelf with fresh cupcakes.

“A-hem.”

The unexpected throat-clearing right behind him made him toss the newly emptied pastry-tray into the air as he jumped two feet with a high-pitched squeak. Somehow, he managed to spin a full 180 degrees in mid-air and land facing… a bunny!?

Heart thundering in his chest, the cheetah stared wide-eyed at the small doe with a note-board in paw, as the tray hit the ground with a loud “klang-aaang-ang!”

Meeting the felines eyes with a half-lidded stare, she waited for a few moments in silence before she spoke: “Benjamin Clawhauser?”

Through the beatings of his heart and the flailing of his thoughts, such as ‘ _What is a bunny doing here?’_ and _‘Is that a police uniform she is wearing? Gosh that looks snazzy!’_ or _‘Why does she reek of muskmask? ‘_ and finally _‘Oh no there can´t be police officers at Wild Times there are no police bunnies are there but she is right there and oh noes I´mgonnagetarrestedandWildTimeswillbeshutdownforevereandeveryonewillbethrowninjailandandandOMgoodnessOMgoodnessOMgoodness!’_ well, it took him a few moments to stutter out a reply.

“Y-y-y-ye…”

Only to be brutally interrupted. “Good, good, then I have a few quick questions for you, if you don’t mind.” The bunny held up her note board a little higher to write something.

Having been shaken to his core, Clawhauser was still hung up on his last thoughts. He blurted out: “I didn´t think Wilde Times was known to the police!” When he realized what he had just said, he all but stuffed his paws into his mouth, as if he could force his words back in again.

The bunny stopped writing. Slowly, she lowered her note board just enough to reveal her scowling eyes. Twin pools of amethyst fire seemed to freeze the feline to the spot as they speared him right through his soul. He would later swear that her eyes were glowing.

When she spoke, her voice was slow, quiet, and menacing. “Sir. Are you implying, that you are _knowingly_ participating in an illegal act?”

Benjamin Clawhauser did not dare move, nor breath. Certainly not enough to speak. In the end, he managed a sort of high frequency side-to-side vibration of his head, praying that it would be accepted as an answer in the negative.

The terrifying bunny held him pinned with her eyes a few moments longer, before she suddenly returned to her writing. “Excellent! For your information, I can tell you that this facility is perfectly legal. I should know, I assisted Mister Wilde with the paperwork.”

The poor cat did not know what to do with this information. The whole situation was _surreal._

Not that the bunny gave him any time to consider it, as she promptly stopped writing and pointed her pen at one of the shelves. “Now I need a sample of your wares. One of those should suffice, I believe.”

Benjamin looked at the indicated sub with trepidation. “Uhmmm, ma´am, I _really_ don´t think…”

She speared him with her terrible, terrible eyes again. “Is there anything… _wrong…_ with it?”

He managed a higher amplitude in his head-vibration this time.

“Then kindly serve it for me.”

“But…”

“NOW!”

The sub appeared on a plate before her as if by magic, Clawhauser for once demonstrating that he really was a cheetah.

The feline then observed in stunned silence as the Bunny took a surprisingly big bite out of the chicken and curry sub. Chewing, the bunny nodded to herself and wrote some more.

Hoping that she was in a better mood after getting a bite to eat (it always worked for _him_ ), he tried to gently pry some new information out of her. “Uhh, ma’am, what is this all about, if I may ask?”

Slipping her pen into a pocket and putting her board under her left arm, she finally met his eyes as she raised her right pointer-finger to his OPEN-sign. “It’s about this, sir. According to your sign, you should have opened your booth over three hours ago.”

Clawhauser had wanted to protest, or at least say _something_ in his defence, but she simply bulldozed on.

“Also, I have it on certain authority that you were equally late to open last Wednesday.”

Ben tried to use his words. His words fled him.

Not that it mattered. “Just as you were last Saturday. Now, I understand that _force majeure_ is a thing, and family emergencies can pop up; However, if this is going to happen _every time_ Gazelle releases a new song…”

_‘How in Velocity’s name did she know that!’_ Several of Honeys more esoteric conspiracy theories that he had overheard her talking about, ran through Clawhausers mind.

“…then you risk being accused of false advertising. Since none of us want that, and your business came through my inspection with full marks otherwise, I am going to let you go with a warning this time. Just make sure that you either get someone to fill in for you or change your sign if you intend to make any large deviations from your opening hours in the future.”

The big cat let out a big sigh of relief at the word ‘warning’. He felt like he could melt into a puddle of relaxed goo at any moment.

As the bunny added a few more notes to her rapport, a new voice interrupted them. “How goes the inspection, Sarge?”

To Ben’s great astonishment, Wilde Times owner, Nicholas Wilde himself, strolled up to the booth with his paws in his pockets. Looking at him, one might be fooled into thinking that inspections by the ZPD was an everyday occurrence.

The bunny’s reaction didn’t lessen his consternation one bit, either. Her ears rose high and she turned to the fox with a bright smile. “Just about finished, Nick. All in all, Mr Clawhauser came through with flying colours.” She sent the staring cheetah a _look._ “He just has to remember to curb his enthusiasm a bit when Gazelle releases her next song, so he doesn´t oversleep again.”

Still reduced to a quietly staring spectator, Ben was at least mollified to see that he wasn´t the only one baffled by the bunny´s knowledge, as Nick crossed his arms and raised an eyebrow. “And how do you know what made Benji here late, Sergeant Hopps? I´m pretty sure there are some legal requirements before you can just go and investigate a mammal like that, you know, warrants and such?”

The rabbit seemed unperturbed by the fox´s accusation, as she gave him an impish grin and held up her badge to him. “I really don´t think you need to worry about my investigative skills, Mr Wilde, especially if you can´t even get my name right.”

The vulpine opened his mouth to speak, but as his eyes fell on the badge before him his eyes shot wide open and his words failed him.

Clawhauser actually felt apprehensive about it, what about that police badge could leave _Nicholas Wilde_ shocked and speechless?

The fox stared for a little longer before he managed to find his voice, his eyes still locked on the small shiny object in front of him. “You didn´t…”

“I did.”

“You _didn´t…”_

“It´s **done** _.”_

The last word was filled with a sense of absolute finality. A great many emotions appeared to vie for control of the fox´s face as the bunny put away her badge. He seemed to finally settle for a mix of apprehension and incredulous joy as he stared at her. _“Sly bunny.”_ His voice was a bit hoarse.

“Dumb fox.” Her answer was delivered with a sunny smile and had her leaning in ever so slightly.

When the fox reacted with a half step forward and starting to raise his arms as if to catch her, the lapin quickly skipped back with a teasing grin. “Ah-ah-ahh, no more PDA´s while I´m in uniform, especially were people can see us. You will just have to be patient, Mister Wilde.” All said while wagging a finger at the fox in admonition.

Nick´s response was to cross his arms with a huff, apparently already over his emotional turmoil. “Fine, but this means extra cuddles when we get home, I hope you realise. You can´t leave a fox wanting, now, can you?”

Clawhauser, still silently observing these strange things happening in front of him, felt his eyebrows climb far up on his forehead. These two had just said some truly outrageous things, and the implications, even more so. On the other paw, he was very much a live and let live kind of cat, so he immediately decided to stay quiet and sate his curiosity.

Meanwhile, the bunny still kept her teasing grin. “ _Deal!”_ Grabbing the sub she had tested earlier, she waved it at the fox. “I think I´ll finish off this, be a damn shame to throw away good food just because I had a nibble on it, and then I will have to _collude_ a bit with Finnick. Get everything ready for tonight, you know? After that I think I´ll head home and finally get properly settled in.”

Nick had not moved, but a certain aura of, peace? seemed to have settled over him now. “Oh, so you have something planned for Finn too?”

Her ill-gotten meal in paw, the doe skipped off with a wave over her shoulder. “Sure do! Later, Nick!”

“Count on it, Sarge.”

Clawhauser followed the departing bunny with his gaze, a feeling of disappointment in the pit of his stomach. His curiosity had not been sated. Rather, Nick and… _‘Sarge? Sergeant …Hopps? No wait, not Hopps, she said. Sarge Not-Hopps?’_

Ben suddenly realised that not only had these two only left him with more questions, but he didn´t even know the bunny´s _name_! He opened his mouth as he turned back to Nick as he prepared to inundate the vulpine with questions but was stopped by the smaller mammal´s appearance.

Still holding his right paw up in a wave, the fox was looking down on the ground with an intense scowl across his muzzle. The fox was muttering to himself in a low voice, but Ben manage to hear a few words, such as _“…impossible rabbit..”_ and _“…distracted me with a **shiny** …” _ and “ _…hopeless, annoying, pretty, cute, aaargh…._ ”. As much as Nick seemed determined to be annoyed, the corners of his mouth seemed equally determined to twitch upward.

With a final mumble of _“…too much vixen”,_ the fox raised his head as a manic grin spread over his face. Sending a look after the departed bunny, he threw his head back at let out a single barked “Ha!”. Manic grin still in place, he then spun in place and pointed a finger straight at Clawhauser.

“Okey Benji my friend, no more three-hour sleep-ins from now on, new Gazelle songs or not, or the bunny will GET YOU! Got me?” Having said his peace, Nick spun on his heel and walked off, paws in his pockets and tail swishing lively.

Completely dumbfounded, the cheetah was left standing with his mouth and eyes open wide for several minutes before his brain managed to dredge up a little nugget of fox-lore he had picked up rather by accident. ‘ _Wait, get you? Got me? …a getting? …uuuuhhh.’_

Feeling like his grey matter was getting cooked to a medium rare trying to parse through the last ten minutes, the cheetah’s shoulders slumped. With a deep sigh, Benjamin Clawhauser dropped his face into his paws.

“…oh em goodness.”

-RK-

As she finished the last bits of her free lunch at the picknick-table she had found, Judy considered her so far most excellent day. Her trip to the precinct had gone swimmingly, she had made a new friend and had an idea for her future career. And then, she had met up with Nick and… well. That had gone beyond her wildest dreams. She hadn´t believed for a moment that their relationship would make such a sudden leap forward so soon and had been more than ready to give Nick all the time and room he needed, but then he had asked her and… well, the truth had just come tumbling out of her.

Boy that had been scary, when she realised that she had bared her soul to him and could only wait for his answer. She loved him, more than anything. Literally, _anything._ But she had decades of memories of living with him and loving him, which Nick simply didn´t have.

She could only surmise that the soul-mate thing was a fact, why else would a fox give a weird bunny that turned up out of nowhere a chance in a romantic sense? But if his feelings were still the same, then wouldn´t he give her that chance as soon as he was presented the slightest excuse? That… made a sort of sense?

The relief when he accepted her feelings, at least on a trial basis, was such that she didn´t care anymore. She had her fox, mind and body, heart and soul. She would give him all the love she had, for as long as she could. That was that, and that was all.

Suddenly, her eyes turned to slits as they lit up with amethyst hellfire. She held up a fist before her as she swore an oath to herself, a low growl rising from her very core.

_‘And this time, he WILL survive me. I am NOT burying my husband one more time. And may all the powers that be have mercy on anyone who tries to take him from me, FOR I SHALL UTTERLY **DESTROY THEM!** ’_

-RK-

**The astral realm.**

In the house of the keeper of souls, what could be mistaken for sounds of home improvement could be heard.

*Thunk!* *Thunk!* *Thunk!* *Thunk!* *Thunk!*

On the other hand, one might question how your home might be improved upon through the repeated, concussive application of one´s skull to an interior wall.

Watching the keeper´s actions with some trepidation was a rabbit with generous curves. “ _Really,_ my dear, there is no reason to act like this! You can´t _really_ be surprised at Judy´s intentions, what with her previous actions? _You_ sent her to her soul-mate, what did you _think_ was going to happen?”

*Thunk!!* With one last, harder, impact, the keeper of souls stilled with her forehead against the wall and opened a bloodshot eye. It rolled in its socket in a most disquieting fashion, almost as of its own volition, before it focused in on the lapin.

Undeterred, the visitor met the unsettling gaze and gesticulated with both paws. “Yes, yes, I know that Nick was fated to serve his penance on that plane for just another six to eight months, before passing on. I know that the possible divergence from that path is messing with you. Thus, I am here to offer you a loophole.”

The keeper said nothing, but the bloodshot eye filled with the desperate light of a drowning mammal seeing a single reed of grass still within reach.

The visitor kept talking. “So, that plane is essentially a purgatory, correct? And Nick is there to serve a sort of punishment? Then, I propose that with Judy´s arrival, that punishment is over; I can´t see her letting her mate suffer in any way.” The rabbit gave her friend a hopeful look. “Does that work? Time served, and the fox continues on to a happier phase of his life, no matter what plane he is living on?”

The single eye stared at the visitor for a long moment, then it seemed to pulse red and slowly rolled back up into its socket.

“…uuuurrrrrh… M̵̢̡̬̹̮͚̩̟̓̊͋̒͋̒͆̒͝ű̶̝̞͔̦̻̻͓̗̟͛̈̈́r̵̢͙͔͔̹͓̗̝͉̻̮͝ͅg̷̩͉̰͉͍̳͗̒͝ǘ̶͚̝̫̳̗̑̾͛̐̅̏͐̌̐͒͗̇͠͠ͅr̴̠̦̦̻͚̭̝͉͚̘̽̅g̵̨̨̛̘̙̺̪̦͙̭̬̙̘̙̘̈̾̆̆̈́̚̕ͅļ̶̞̝̥̤͉̝͓̤̠̻͍̹̹̂̈́̾͊̎̽̂͊͗̈́͛͋͘͜͝é̵̛̦ ̷̹͓̥̮͙̅̔͋̿͗r̸͈̲͍̥̥͚̖̣̗͎̥̭̟̐͑̓͠o̸͓̜̘̦̾͗̾̅̋̈̓͝ğ̴̨̫̝̼̻͇̻̘̃̉ͅn̶͔͗̿͆͌͂͋͆̚͝͝͝͝t̸̼̗̻͔̠̥̊u̷̡̡̧̠̘̪̫̜̯̙͉̿͊̒̌̽͆͆̅̂̄͝d̷̛̳͂̈̆̆̈̈́j̷̫̥̘̤͈̟̩̬̗̰̼͂̿͒̏̽̉̚̚ͅư̵̲̥̣̻̠͉̲̱̩͔͓͚̾̄͐̾͜u̷͉͚͠ ̶̧͖̙̉̉̆̿̾̓̇̾͊̊̅͘̚͝F̸̢̤̘̮̞̝͈͈̟͇͓̯́̋͑͌̄̉͒̈́͌̽̽̑̚͝͝h̸͕͓͓̠̆̍̓͆ţ̵̭͙̍͂͛̏̂̎̂͒̈̓̿͝͝ḁ̸̰̒͑̋̇̐͛ģ̴̛̩̜͓̮̖͕̩̩͔̞̼̇̃͒͂͌̀̑͆͋̈̚͜ͅn̶̘͎̱͍̟̦͔̞̯̟̔͑̇͛̎̃͆͛̉.̴̬̘͉̼̙̠̠̭̼̭̯̦̗͐̒͋̆̊̇̅͊̃͂͑͠͝ͅ.̷̪͝.̸̡̛̮̖̰͙̜̗̪̣͎͛̄̆̓̈̉̓͝!̴̡̙̩̬͚̥̗̹͈̳̟͒̃͑͂̄̏̔̑̀̋ͅ “

*THUD!* *THUD!* *THUD!* *THUD!* *THUD!*

The visitor watched her college a few moments longer before she threw her arms up and turned to leave. “Fine. Fine! You do you.”

-RK-

Taking a deep breath to release the sudden tension in her body, Judy uncurled her fingers. There was no reason to get quite that worked up, she would deal with any threats to Nick as they came. She had already done all she could to make sure he was legally safe, hadn´t she? And as for her fox´s happiness, she had certainly shut down his little freak out right quick.

She snorted to herself; As if she was going to let Nick get all bent out of shape and angsty over what the rest of the world thought about them! She was far too experienced for angst, not that she hadn´t done her fare share in her previous life and especially so where her relation to Nick was concerned.

But that was just it, _she had done it already!_ Been there, done that, got the crappy t-shirt. At the end of the day, the question was, _is Nick worth it_? Right now, that was a silly question, of course he was, but the first time around? When neither of them knew if their relationship was even practically possible? That had been the time for angst, yes, but not now. Now, she _knew_.

Angst notwithstanding, Judy considered Nick´s other worry; the public´s reaction.

She immediately dismissed the thought; No matter who you were or what you did, someone, somewhere, for whatever reason, would disapprove. Sometimes, violently so.

Consider, for example, Emmit Otterton. A physically unthreatening person, a family mammal that earned his living by selling flowers, whose greatest sin was being on friendly terms with Mr Big.

As far as Judy knew, Emmit had never harmed another soul in his life, but he was a _predator._ And because of that, Dawn Bellweather and her thugs had felt perfectly justified to attack him in any way they pleased. According to them, they were good and he was bad, therefore all their actions against him were proper and just.

Judy had seen far too much of that sort of thing in her long life to give much credence to the opinions of some arbitrary mammal; If your actions was not a threat to someone else, then she didn´t think it was anyone’s business but your own. There were grey areas, of course, but thats what laws were meant for.

The bunny shook her head, trying to physically throw off such heavy thoughts. Her mind naturally went to Nick, instead. A smile crept up on her face at that. _‘And I got to see Benji again! Talk about the cherry on top of a great day!’_ Her smile got steadily wider, the cheetah was a bit slimmer than the feline in her memories, but he was still the same, the single kindest mammal she had ever met.

When Nick had told her who their little intervention was meant for, she had been quite shocked. However, a three second check of Gazelle´s schedule had informed her of the likely reason for the cheetah’s tardiness; His love of the singer was apparently multi-versal. She had immediately agreed to Nicks plan.

And then, the fox had proven his worth once again. He had reminded her that if she didn´t douse herself in musk-mask before she entered Wilde Times, the gig would be up; After their little téte-à-téte, she positively reeked of fox. Not even Clawhauser would have missed that.

That… warmed her heart. Despite everything, despite all her experience, she still _needed_ Nick to get things _right._ He was still the clever fox between the two of them. It… felt right.

“Whoa.”

“See? I told you!”

“Yeah, I know, but who would believe that there´s a bunny HERE!”

“And she´s dressed up like a cop! Yah guys think she´s a real one?”

Shaken from her thoughts, the bunny looked around to see who had intruded on her introspection.

A glance over her shoulder exposed the perpetrators and immediately made her want to go ‘Aaaaww’: A pair of wolf pups, similar enough that they had to be littermates, and a grey fox kit, all male and by her rather knowledgeable estimation in the eight to ten age-span. All of them staring up at her in curiosity at the peculiar bunny.

And all of them without T.A.M.E.-collars.

Judy felt her mouth stretch into another wide smile, as her so far most excellent day just ratcheted up another notch on the feel-good scale. This, she knew how to deal with.

“I am, in fact, a real cop. The one and only bunny-cop in the entire ZPD, actually.” Spinning in her seat, she made sure her voice was as happy and inviting as possible as she slid off the bench, not wanting to scare the wee ones.

Luckily, the pups and the kit seemed like her presence didn´t bother them one bit, as one of the wolves started asking her the very expected questions she knew they´d have. “The only bunny? Is it, like, too hard for bunnies to become cops or something?”

Judy started to open her mouth to say that, no, it wasn´t impossible for a bunny but, yes, it was extremely hard and that she had to work her tail off to make it in a profession really meant for far larger mammals; But then, she stopped herself as her new memories came to her.

In her previous life, getting through the ZPA had been a bitch and a half, but in this one? Not so much. The standards for officers had been set so incredibly low that, with the exception of a few size-related issues, it had really been a cakewalk for her counterpart. She quickly amended her answer.

“Absolutely not, it´s just that I don´t know a single other rabbit that has ever had any inclination of being an officer. Far too many bunnies just want to live the stereotype and be farmers and such.”

A sense of incredulity visibly spread among her small audience, as the fox kit asked the next question. “So just any mammal that isn´t a pred can be a cop, then?”

“Not quite, I´d say any mammal smaller than me would have a hard time, and it is a big difference between getting through the academy and being a proper officer.” Absolutely true. Then, a mischievous thought came to her. _‘It would be a good story, and it´s not like these three would ever learn it didn´t happen in_ this _life-time.’_ “And, well, _some_ things were not so easy in the police academy. Let me tell you a little bit about my _primary instructor…”_

-RK-

Felicia Greypaw, a grey fox vixen of twenty-three years, let out a small sigh as she stepped out of the ladies’ room. Giving herself a light stretch while rubbing at her blessedly collar-free neck, she looked forward to a few more hours of relaxing.

Or at least as much relaxing as one can get while looking after three young boys, but she was not too worried; Her little nephews were nice kits and rarely gave her any real problems. Besides, babysitting had been her primary income for years, she had it down to an art by now.

A wistful smile spread on her face at the thought of her _nephews._ One by blood, two by adoption. Such a marvellous thing that was; She had no delusions about her probable fate if Astrid and Reinhold Graypaw hadn´t taken her in after she had lost her birthparents in the… _incident._ She would be eternally in their debt for that kindness.

Shrugging off the heavy thoughts, she looked around for her charges. Certainly they couldn´t have wandered off too far? She had told them to wait for her and she had been away less than ten minutes.

She was right they hadn´t gone far, as she spotted them almost immediately. Unfortunately, that brought her no joy, as the situation she found them in made her blood run cold.

_‘Oh no, oh no, oh nononono!’_ In her near panic, she totally blanked on the fact that she wasn´t wearing her collar, and as such she could run or do whatever she wanted without risk of being electrocuted. Alas, a lifetime of painful indoctrination had taken its toll, so she naturally settled for a powerwalk towards her little charges.

In her mind, her distress was well founded; Her three nephews were being accosted by an officer of the ZPD! That the officer in question was just a rabbit didn´t really make a difference, she knew that being singled out by the police was a bad thing for any predator.

Worse, the rabbit seemed to be haranguing them with a vengeance, her face set in a furious scowl as she gesticulated wildly with both paws! The kids were visibly _trembling in fear!_ She didn´t know what was going on or how she would go about it, all she knew was that she had to stop this!

Her mind in overdrive with any number of bad outcomes, she at last came close enough to make out what the rabbit was saying.

“…thy toilet. You´re DEAD, fluff butt!”

“HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!”

Felicia just froze mid step. The sight of the kits rolling on the ground, laughing their little tails off, was so far from her expectations that her mind simply could not grasp it. The bunny had lost her scowl and her ears had risen into a far happier stance from their earlier position. She seemed awfully pleased with herself, suddenly.

For a few minutes the vixen remained in her frozen state, watching the little ones gasping in hilarity while the bunny watched them in turn, paws on her hips. Then, as the trio finally got it together enough to start to get up again and turn back to the bunny, she suddenly lost her smile as her ears fell back to standing straight out from her head. An even more furious glare on her face, she loomed over the kits and pointed a finger down at them as she all but growled:

“ _Dead!”_

“BAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

…Aaand they were off again.

The bunny instantly lost her threatening posture as she crossed her arms with a wide smile and closed her eyes. The smugness pouring off of her was practically fox-level.

This time, Felicia managed to get her head in gear; Shaking it a bit, as if she had to physically re-align her thoughts with reality, she at last approached the peculiar rabbit.

“Excuse me, Officer?”

As the rabbit turned to her, Felicia was surprised by her eyes; Amethyst spheres brimming with joy met her own golden brown. “Yes, ma’am? How can I help you?”

Yet another surprise, the bunny´s tone made it clear that she meant exactly what she said. “Well you see, I´m the one looking after these three,” indicating the still chuckling kits “and I was wondering, uhm, uhh…” At a bit of a loss for words, the vixen defaulted to indicating the kits with both paws in an all-encompassing gesture.

Turning her eyes to the trio that was finally getting back to their feet, even if they had to lean on each other a bit, the bunny chuckled slightly before she answered. “Oh it´s nothing big, they were curious about how I became a police officer, so I was telling them a little about my time at the academy and some of my interactions with my most, ahem, _memorable_ instructor.”

At her words, one of the wolves buried his head into his brother’s chest, shaking from head to toe, mumbling “memorable” over and over under his breath. His brother seemed determined to stay on his feet this time, and made sure to hold his sibling upright too.

Not that he didn´t have a hard time of it, as his tail thrashed uncontrollably behind him and he still shook from repressed laughter.

Only the fox-kit seemed to have gotten his wits about him enough to string an understandable sentence together, which he was quick to demonstrate. “Memorable, right! As many times as she ‘killed’ you, I´d think she was a predator!”

Felicia might have been worried when the bunny turned to her nephew with her arms crossed, if the teasing glint in the rabbits eyes hadn´t been so obvious.

Well, obvious to an adult, that is.

“Oh? The way you say that, one might think there is something wrong with being a prey?” A lifted eyebrow completed the look.

Realising he might have put his foot in his mouth in a bad way, the fox-kit attempted to backtrack right quick. “Ah, well, ya see, uhm, yes, I mean no! Uhm, uh, uhm…”

His fast fall into mumbled incoherence had the wolf-brothers giving each other a look with wagging tails before they started to chant.

“CHOKE! CHOKE! CHOKE! CHOKE!”

The little todd gave the two a betrayed look and yelled a loud “HEY!” before he gave chase after the fleeing, and laughing, wolves.

With an amused sigh, Felicia stepped up to the snickering rabbit, the two looking after the playing kits. Still looking highly entertained, the bunny turned to the fox. “I´m not so sure that is how a choke is supposed to work, but where I´m from, we would call those kits a barrel of hoots!”

With a dismissive gesture, the vixen answered. “Don´t mind those two, they saw that on TV last week and they´ve been dying to use it ever since.”

“I see, well I suppose a proper greeting is in order now, so…” The bunny offered her paw to the vixen, who grabbed it out of instinct. “Sergeant Judy Wilde, ZPD.”

“Felicia Greypaw.”

Still clasping paws, they both looked confused before they spoke over each other.

“Wilde/Greypaw?”

Their mutual surprise lasted a moment longer before they let go and Felicia was the first to speak.

“Oh! ZPD! You´ve maybe met Uncle Frank?”

The bunny nodded slowly, one ear taking a curious lean. “Yes, I´m friends with a Frank Greypaw, he made me my new badge as a matter of fact. But, he´s a wolf…?”

With a closed-eyed smile, Felicia was happy to explain. This was a happy subject for her. “Yep, I´m an orphan, but I had the great fortune to be adopted by the Greypaws. They´ve been the best parents a vixen could wish for.”

The bunny showed all the signs of astonishment before she gave a slightly melancholic smile. “I suppose it´s only fitting that a grey fox became a Grey _paw,_ huh? That´s… that´s actually really neat.”

The vixen nodded, still smiling herself, before she pointed at the doe. “Yes it is, and now I want to hear how you became friends with Uncle Frank and about your name! It´s only fair, I told you about mine!”

With another snicker, the rabbit gestured for her to follow. “I guess you´re right, and I further guess I can spare the time to tell the story. Very well, to be honest I only made friends with Frank earlier today when he made the badge for me. I told him the story of my name too, and he thought it was hilarious! My name-change all started the other day when a wildebeast barged into my office…”

And so Felicia followed the strange bunny in a slow pursuit of three rambunctious youngsters while she listened to the wildest tale she had ever heard.

Never in her _wildest_ dreams would she have guessed that she was walking right into a life-long friendship.

-RK-

Honey was nervous. Concerned. Distressed, even. She felt she had good reason, though.

Her whole day had been slightly… _off._ From the moment she had found Finnick staring into space, looking like he had seen a ghost, she felt like she had stepped straight into the twilight-zone. Finding Nick in bed with a bunny, whom he had _married,_ and was arguably the single scariest mammal she had ever met; That was merely the tip of the iceberg.

A small shudder went through her at the memory of the bunny stalking towards herself and Finnick with death in her eyes; Honey had stared down tigers and grizzlies, hell, even a wolverine that one time, and none of them had managed to be even half as menacing as Mrs Wilde had while dressed in nothing but one of Nicks horrible green shirts.

And then the new house rule: “ _No collars in the house!”_

The hell?

What kind of prey-mammal _demands_ to live in a house full of uncollared preds?

Apparently, the same kind that _marries a fox,_ but only after making sure that she has no legal way of taking advantage of him! She had kept a straight face at the time, but reading their pre-nuptials had certainly been another shock to the system. The bunny officer truly didn´t seem to have any motive but to be helpful to them, and Nick in particular.

That was… _nice… ,_ but the incongruity of it all set her teeth on edge!

As such, it had been a relief to go to work at Wilde Times and get back into the routine of the daily grind.

_Especially_ after the newlyweds’ awkwardly tender farewell. Nick didn´t quite seem to know what to do with his paws when he was the sudden victim of a quick stealth bunny-hug, until said bunny murmured “Just hug me, dumb fox.” It was the first time in living memory she had ever seen Nick looking, dare she think it, _chagrined_.

So anyway, she had gone about her day in the usual manner for several hours, mammaling the till at the entrance, removing collars, doing some mechanical upkeep and such. All routine.

And then, the bunny was back.

Honey thought her eyes were going to pop out of her head when she saw her, strolling through Wilde Times with Nick by her side and walking rather close together. She could have sworn they would have been holding paws if the bunny hadn´t been in uniform.

Considering no-one knew of the parks recently gained legal status, it should have been a disaster. A prey-mammal in ZPD-uniform walking through the predator haven that is Wilde Times should have driven the smaller and more nervous customers to flee in panic and the bigger and/or more aggressive ones should have gone on the attack. Roars, screams, harsh recriminations and threats followed by violence SHOULD have been the result of the rabbit’s presence, but… _but._

Nothing.

Zip, zilch, nada.

Oh sure, lots of people stopped and stared, many pointed and whispered between each-other and quite a few took some more or less candid photos. Wide eyes, head-scratches, many blinks, doubletakes and unbelieving shrugs was left in the rabbits’ wake, certainly.

But, but, BUT. No-one said a single bad word. No threats, no violence, no panic. Nothing.

To the badger, it was simply inconceivable. Was it because Nick was with her? He was well known as the owner, and he certainly gave off a calm and collected aura strolling by the bunny’s side. Maybe people just couldn´t take a bunny in uniform seriously, and thought it was some kind of joke? Was the bewildering bunny simply blessed by the gods? Or maybe the bunny’s own apparent happiness at being surrounded by uncollared predators on all sides made them doubt if she really _was_ a bunny?

Honeys mind had been spinning in circles since, and what more she had seen of Mrs Wilde had only exacerbated her condition; She had passed by Benjamin´s booth, finding the cheetah staring in bewilderment at a sandwich-munching bunny a ways off. The portly mammal had been repeating “No way, no way, there´s just no way…” under his breath the whole time. Honey had her own suspicions about that, knowing what Nick might think up to cure the feline of his resent bouts of tardiness.

The next time she had spotted the bunny had not cleared anything up, either. She had been helping Finnick with a supply-run for some of the booths when Judy had walked by, talking animatedly with a grey fox-vixen, one that Honey recognised as a semi-regular customer, as if they were old friends.

Then, later still, she had spotted Judy speaking with Finnick for a bit, leaving the fennec laughing in glee, tail wagging wildly when they parted.

She had taken the chance then, and walked up to the still grinning Finnick to get some answers.

“So, I see you´re getting along with our new house-mate?”

Turning to her, the small fox gave her a rather… peculiar look, before he switched to a surprisingly savage grin. “Yup. Mrs Wilde is one funny bunny. Heh. Ah wonder if Nick´s gotten to fill her up with foxiness already, know what ah mean?”

Ignoring the fennecs crude double entendre, Honey went for the question she most wanted answered. “Don´t know, don´t care. What I would like to know, is why the mammals around here react to her the way they do. Do you have any input to that, Finnick?”

One eyebrow raised, the tod hesitated for a moment before he answered, his voice expressing some uncertainty. “Weeell, her kind don´t offn´ come into da city, ya now? Ah guess she´s a bit of a novelty.” A, for the fennec very unusual, self-depreciating smile spread over his face. “Shit, ah didn´ even twig on mahself until Nick clued me in.”

Dafuq?

Finnick had said words, none of which was individually hard to grasp, but that in their entirety did not make any sense.

Her kind? Not in the city? Zootopia had rabbits everywhere, not in any way, shape or form could one of them be considered a NOVELTY! Nick clued him in? TO WHAT?

She had opened her mouth to demand a further explanation, but alas, it was not to be.

**“FINNICK!”**

Jumping, both her and the fox had spun to face the one who bellowed; A burly snow-leopardess dressed in an oil-covered coverall that had stepped out of the structure they were standing by.

“Oi Cherryl! Ya don´t need ta scream like a damn air-raid siren! I´m, like, half ears!”

The no-nonsense feline crossed her arms and answered with challengingly raised brows. “Oh yea? Then use em to hear this: I need your clever little paws to help me get the Whirl-twister in order, right now!”

Honey had expected the ornery fox to make a fuss, but all he did was grunt “Fine!” and walk off with the chief mechanic, muttering imprecations under his breath.

For the rest of the workday, she had been completely stymied in reaching any further clarity in the mystery that was Judy Wilde. Finnick had been busy the rest of the day, Nick had made himself conspicuously scarce, and all the other mammals she had had the opportunity to address only gained her shrugs and confusion.

Even the drive home had proven an informational bust, as Finnick had been in fine form, cranking the stereo way up and singing along to something that could only be called music if compared with the sound of several metric tons of scrap metal being thrown down a long set of stairs.

Finnick possessed a surprising list of skills, but singing was not one of them. She had hoped that Nick would put a stop to the infernal ruckus, but all he did was grin and join in on the chorus.

After a long, arduous, trying, _gruelling_ trip, she at last found herself home again.

Not without trepidation, she stepped through the entrance door. What new madness would the bunny bring now?

*Be-beep!*

Jumping a little at the sudden sound, she was surprised to feel her collar be removed. Turning, she found Nick with collar-opener in paw. With a silly grin, the tod reminded her; “No collars in the house, remember?”

As Finnick also came inside and got the same treatment as her, Honey set her eyes at the latest addition to the houses´ décor; A small shelf with a row of hooks at about Finnicks eye-level, complete with names by each hook just like in kindergarten: Finnick, Honey and Nick. She absently noted that the names were in alphabetical order.

Watching Nick place the opener on the shelf and hang Finnicks collar on it´s designated hook along with the two other, Honey was overcome with that feeling of having stepped into the twilight-zone again; here was the final, physical proof that the rabbit had been serious!

Reeling from this sudden epiphany, the badger barely reacted to the *thupthupthup* of rapidly approaching footsteps until, with a joyous shout of “Nick!”, a grey blur leapt past her to collide with that same red fox.

Laughing happily, the fox spun in place to bleed off the force of the impact, like he had spent his whole life catching airborne bunnies.

Honey couldn´t help staring; Not counting seeing the bunny in Nicks shirt in the morning, this was the first time she had seen her in civilian clothes. Dressed in simple blue jeans and a checkered shirt, she looked just like the stereotypical farmers daughter you could find anywhere out in the Triburrows, which made seeing her wrapped around her foxy husband all the more jarring.

As the mustelid was observing Mrs Wilde greeting her worse half with cuddles and a storm of butterfly kisses all over his face, Finnick seemed to have had his fill of the touchy-feely stuff and sought to break it up. “Yo bunny-cop, before ya eat dat fox a yours, think ya can spread it aroun´ a bit? Ah seem ta remember ya sayin´ ya were gunna fix dinner, ey?”

Pausing in showering Nick with affection, the doe turned in his arms to look down on the smaller tod. “I sure did! Food is on the stove, so you have about half an hour to get ready for dinner.”

“Lemme guess, ya made carrot stew?” The fennec´s grin seemed unexpectantly challenging.

The scowl and the set of her ears made it obvious that the rabbit heard the challenge too. A quick double-tap to Nicks arm was apparently a signal to set her down, which the fox did with an expectant grin. “No, I´m making Great-great Grandma Gretas Great-great Gumbo, with improvements by yours truly. You got a problem with that?” As she spoke, she walked up to Finnick to stare him right in the eyes.

Finnick seemed less than impressed, though. His answer was given along with a negligent wave of a paw. “Bah, ah expect a lotta bunny-food boiled ina pot. Tell me ah´m wrong, cottontail.”

Narrowing her eyes at her detractor, Judy was straight to the point. “You´re wrong. And if the food I make isn´t good enough, I´m not forcing you to eat it, short stuff.”

Knowing how sensitive the fennec could be about his height, his rumbling snarl was not really unexpected. The bunny answering in kind, however, _was._ And it wasn´t some little pretend growl, either; Oh no, the small rabbit managed to produce a sound that would make a furious polar-bear proud, if said bear had been the size of a celestials-be-damned _hippo_! The deep, rumbling growl made the honey badger take a quick step back, as the only time she could remember hearing anything remotely similar was in an old monster-movie, right as the main monster had torn a skyscraper out of the ground and tossed it at his opponent!

To his credit, Finnick only widened his eyes by the smallest margin before leaning in to the rabbit and the two began a furious exchange of insults and expletives.

“Hay-muncher!”

“Filthy pelt!”

“Spunk-garbler!”

“Rat-humper!”

“Cheap harlot!”

“Street-hustler!”

_‘Whoa, that escalated quickly!’_ Looking to Nick for help to separate the two before it came to blows, Honey was amazed at what she saw; Not worried at all, the red fox had his arms crossed and tail swaying contentedly behind him. There was not a hint of nerves to his expression, rather he wore an indulgent smile with a hint of… nostalgia?

“B-girl!”

“Garbage-thief!”

“Floozy!”

“Hobo!”

“Dish-rag!”

“Small-pox!”

_‘Wow, rhyming with small fox for a dig at his size and calling him a disease at the same time? Way to non-sexualize the double entendre!’_ The overall confusion of the moment left the badger frozen in place; On the one paw, she felt it would be best to break it up before the situation escalated further, but on the other paw, Nick didn´t seem worried at all.

“Bimbo!”

“Wastrel!”

“Wench!”

“Tramp!”

“Hussy!”

“Bum!”

_‘I had no idea that Finnick could be so verbose.’_ Resigning herself to wait and see where this went, Honey instead paid some more attention to the ongoing verbal match.

“Tart!”

“Deadbeat!”

“Witch!”

“Guttersnipe!”

“Fuzzy-wuzzy!”

“Belemnite!”

“Pachyrhizus!”

“Filibusterer!”

“Diplodocus!”

“Coelacanth!”

_‘Well shit, they’re getting really bloody technical now!’_ As well-educated as she was, Honey had honestly no idea what some of the words they were using even meant.

“Aborigine!”

“Artichoke!”

“Baboon!”

“Brigand!”

“Crab-apple!”

“Cro-magnon!”

“Dizzard!”

“Doryphore!”

_‘And now they´re going alphabetical. Yeesh. Is it just me, or is the insult-quality going down rapidly?’_

“Liquorice!”

“Visigoth!”

“Vegetarian!”

“Crook!”

“Nincompoop!”

“Ungulate!”

“Nyctalops!”

“Mameluke!”

As Honey watched, the fierceness of the deliveries increased at a similar rate to the calibre-decrease of the imprecations delivered.

“Slubberdegullion!”

“Hooligan!”

“Jackalope!”

“Cur!”

“Twister!”

“Gherkin!”

“Orangutang!”

“Gorilla!”

“Foul-mouth!”

“Jerk-face!”

The badger felt a bit of worry for Finnick at this point; He was practically vibrating with rage now.

“Bung-hole!”

“Dum-dum!”

“Ass-wipe!”

“Turd-burglar!”

“Panty wuss!”

“Fart-knocker!”

“Dill weed!”

“Butt breath!”

“Dumbass!”

Looking like she was ready to chew steel and crap nails, the bunny all but hissed her next words.

“ _Stooopid…_ HEAD!”

Reeling like he had been physically hit, the fennec stumbled back and put a paw to the wall to stabilize himself. For a moment, he stood there, head down and quivering. Then, he threw his head back, and…

“BWAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

Thrown for a loop by the sudden turn of events, Honey looked to the others for an explanation and found a smiling Judy with one paw held up above her head by Nick. “And the bunny wins by a landslide!”

Letting go of his wife’s paw after declaring her victory, the fox gave a slightly melancholic grin. “Holy crap, I haven´t seen an actual hugbear throwdown since I was seven years old, I think.”

Still smiling like all was sunshine and roses, Judy put her paw gently on her husband’s arm. “Glad I could be of service, if only to bring back old memories. Now, off with you to the shower, I´ll have food ready for you in a jiffy.”

With a “Yes ma’am!” the fox was off with the bunny in tow, leaving a still laughing fennec and a very confused honey badger in the entrance hall.

Feeling that if she had been an old-fashioned cartoon figure, she would have had a whole swarm of question marks circling her head, Honey just stood in her place and waited for Finnick to pull himself together.

Witch he did, after several minutes of mumbling “Stoopid-head” over and over under his breath, he finally straightened himself up with a few last snickers.

Finding the badger staring at him, he rose an eyebrow in question. “What?”

She opened her mouth to speak, but paused. She had so many questions swirling in her head, she just had no idea where to start. Finally, she spoke.

“Liquorice?”

A beat, as the fennec met her stare.

“Ah hate liquorice.”

Another beat. Stare. The fennec gave her a shrug, and left for his quarters.

Honey stared after him until she heard his door slam shut. As if that was a signal, she gave a full-body shiver and hurried for her own room; She had a lead to investigate and little time before dinner.

-RK-

Closing her door behind her, Honey quickly booted up her computer. Nick had finally given her a data point to follow up on, she was not going to waste another second!

As soon as she was able, she started her favourite search-engine and typed in ‘hugbear throwdown’ and hit enter. Dismayed, she found that hits were few and far between. Only one link, to a wikipawdia article, seemed at all promising. Hesitating a bit, as she felt wikipawdia was far too mainstream for her, she nevertheless clicked the link.

Further dismay hit her as she realised the article was only a few sentences long:

_“Hugbear throwdown, a ritualistic trial of wits and articulation, used in place of a physical altercation. The winner is decided as the one who can keep a steady stream of insults going the longest, without losing his/her composure. Loss of composure is the usual reason for losing, as it is part of the game to make the expletives used more and more kittish as the competition goes on. This is counted as another pro of the throwdown, as a person too busy belly laughing is not likely to feel stung at a loss.”_

That explained what had happened in the hallway, yes, but it really left her with more questions then it answered. Scrolling down, she found a single link for ‘Hugbear/Bunbear’ at the bottom of the page. Feeling like she was reaching for a viper somehow, she clicked on.

What she found left her stunned.

_“ **Bunbear”**_

****

_“The bunbear (Ursus Leporidae), also known as hugbear and sometimes Caerbunny, is one of nature’s most extreme cases of aggressive mimicry. Outwardly indistinguishable from a regular rabbit, the bunbear is the only member of the Ursus family that traditionally live in family groups, effectively making them to ursine what lions are to feline._

_Please note, however, that a **terror** (the scientific noun for a bunbear grouping) of bunbears works far more like a wolfpack than a lion pride. You have the two alphas, the betas and the omega, just like a pack. The only distinctive difference is **the Lure,** which would be the bravest, fastest and/or strongest member of any particular terror. _

_The lure would be vital to how the bunbears used to hunt back in feral times, and is where the mimicry comes into play. It is not, as one might suspect, a means to prey on regular rabbits, but rather to capture other predators who would do so. A terror would spread out in an area where rabbits could normally be found, and graze on whatever plants they found suitable; Like most bear-species, bunbears are omnivores._

_If a predator is spotted, the lure would then move away from the rest of the group just a tad, making itself seem just a little less observant in order to provoke an attack. When an attack was initiated, the lure would then either sprint for the rest of the terror or leap for the throat in a counterattack, in both cases giving the group a chance to dog-pile their soon-to-be next meal._

_This behaviour would also be applied to any large and possibly aggressive herbivores entering the area, as well as any bird of prey foolish enough to dive on a member of a terror, most often ending in a fearful squawk as the intended prey would jump up to meet the avian attacker en masse.”_

At this point, Honey paused in her reading to bury her face in her paws. _‘No way, no way, no way in hell is this true! It has to be a joke! A plot! A bloody conspiracy! There can´t be such a thing as a hugbear, if there was then how could I never have heard of them!_

Unfortunately for her, she was something of a conspiracy nut herself. Her traitorous but able mind started to put together all the little inconsistencies over the day, the scary bunny from the morning that would share a bed with a fox without hesitation, the bunny´s hatred of the collars, how all the preds at Wilde Times had reacted.

No matter how she insisted in her head _‘No way, no how, not possible!’_ an insistent little voice in the back of her mind kept yammering about the _possibilities._

**_Mimicry._ **

That word echoed through her mind, over and over. She could still remember when she learnt its meaning as a young cub in middle school. The teacher had called her “a perfect example of genuine aposematism”, which she had taken as an insult until the teacher had shown them a picture of a brightly coloured snake. “This,” Mr Altwood had said, ”is a coral snake. Pretty, yes? Also deadly venomous, its bright coloration is a _warning_. This kind of visible threat is called _aposematism_.” Mr Altwood had then shown a picture of another colourful reptile. “This little one, however, is a red milk snake. Completely harmless, unless you are _very_ small. As you can see, it is remarkably similar to a coral snake, yes? This is called _Batesian mimicry,_ by looking like a dangerous species it scares predators away. There are a great many mimics in nature, often to camouflage a creature from detection by predator or prey, often both. The anti-thesis of batesian mimicry is _aggressive mimicry,_ wherein a predator lures in another predator by appearing as prey, such as the anglerfish.”

It had been the single best class in her entire life, as her teacher had gone on to explain that vivid colours on any living being most often only had three possible reasons: Fancy-pants camouflage, a warning to _stay the fuck away if you know what´s good for you,_ or an invitation to mating. That last bit had her tickled pink, as some of the girly-girls in the class had actually _cried_ when they realised that, all those pretty flowers they liked so much? They were only pretty just so they could non-verbally scream to all pollinators in range to “DO ME! DO ME!” Mr Altwood was her favourite teacher, but he was maybe lacking a bit in subtlety.

She had walked home that day with her head held high, proud of being a badass badger with an ‘inversed countershading’ to tell everyone that saw her that they messed with her at their own peril!

It was also the day that she had learned the power of knowledge, which had served her well her whole life since.

Now, though, her very brain seemed to conspire against her. In desperation, she returned to reading the article, hoping for some nugget of insight for or against the existence of hugbears.

Rapidly skimming through the taxonomy, description, behaviour, ecology and traditional habitat which all boiled down to: A grizzly squished down to rabbit-shape and given the instincts of a wolf living in rabbit country. Only at the very end did she find something she thought promising.

_“Despite the ferocity of the bunbear and the two species routinely living very close to each other, contrary to expectation no account exists of any bunbear ever preying on rabbits. There are a number of logical reasons why, for example it is unwise thinning your own camouflage or depriving your normal prey of their food-source. Perhaps it is as simple as an unwillingness to engage in what would seem like cannibalism to an outsider, bunbears and rabbits being totally impossible to tell apart from appearance alone. Famous explorer James Bruiser (1730-1794) had this to say on the subject:_

_”_

_Truly, the rabbit and the caerbunny be coming out of the same mold, only the core materia separate the two._

_I´ve heard it said that the caerbun may have his front teeth sloping inwards to a point to give him a more fierce bite, while the common rabbit would have his teeth arranged in a single line in the likeness of a beaver. I would not personally stand for it, ´tis an idle indication at best._

_No, the only way I know, to truly tell if the mammal standing before you be bear or bun, be to lay into him with the crudest of words until he can abide no more. If he then breaks out in tears and runs away, then he be a mere feckless bunny._

_However, should he instead make sound not unlike a steam engine under heavy burden and leap for your face, then, my friend, have you found yourself a bona fide caerbunny._

_I can not, despite the methods efficacy, in good conscience recommend it´s use; At best you have acted as a cur most foul to an innocent rabbit, at worst you will return home lacking parts of your head, if you should return at all.”_

_In modern days, it seems the bunbear community has given up their carnivorous past to instead emulate their rabbit neighbours, becoming bespoke farmers and using their physical appearance to dodge all the negative aspects of being predators. As such, they live almost exclusively out in the farmlands and avoid any attention to the best of their ability._

_Should you ever come across a verified bunbear outside what is considered rabbit-country, it is almost certain to be someone from the ‘Lure’ class, as they are the ones most likely to go off on their own.”_

Having finished the article, Honey threw herself into trying to disprove it.

Her first try, looking up James Bruiser, was not helpful at all: A real historical figure, a tall lion with reddish mane and an arrogant disposition, he was known for his tall tales of far-reaching expeditions and incredible finds.

Problem was, all his tales had been proven correct by later explorers, following in his footsteps by use of his writings. No help for her there.

Since it seemed the only way to tell a hugbear from a rabbit was an extensive medical examination, her next target was to try to find proof either way of hugbear behaviour.

Another quick search gave a result that brought the badger up short; A ewetube video named ‘Old style hugbear training for the young uns´’ was at the very top of her results.

Ever so slowly, with a feeling of diving far down the rabbit-hole, Honey brought the cursor up to click on the link.

She was faced with a rather rotund, grey furred rabbit buck dressed in shirt, suspender-pants and a green baseball cap. The video showed the middle-aged mammal standing in a barn next to what seemed to be some sort of large effigy made from hay and string. Honey couldn´t shake the notion that the rabbit seemed awfully familiar, somehow.

With a big, happy smile the buck started speaking. “Welcome everyone to this little session! I guess I could stand here and talk your ears off for the next hour, but my boy Malcolm tells me that a demonstration would be much better, so let´s get right to it, shall we?”

So saying, the farmer walk out of frame, stage left as the camera zoomed out a bit and centred on the effigy.

Next thing the badger knew, there came a terrible but familiar growl, and suddenly the rabbit came flying into frame in a truly spectacular leap. Face contorted in a rictus of a snarl, the buck impacted the straw figure like a wrecking ball and brought it down to the floor with his teeth firmly clamped around it´s throat.

After finishing off his demonstration by rearing his head back and tearing a good chunk out of the dummy, the farmer climbed back on his feet and, after quickly wiping the dust off his front, he was back to his effervescent mien.

“And that’s how it´s done! Right then! Line up, kits, everyone gets a turn on the dummy!”

To Honey´s ever-increasing horror, she was then subjected to a cavalcade of more-or-less successful, feral attacks by young rabbits on the slowly disintegrating straw dummy. First it was solo attacks, then the bunnies(?) came in pairs, and as a grand finale they all jumped the poor effigy as a single group and absolutely shredded it.

All this to a constant barrage of helpful advice from their father:

“Go for the throat! The throat! That´s it!”

“You gotta put your back into it when you tear it out!”

“No no, jump higher! Higher! Hafta hit high to topple im proper!”

“Jonny got the neck, Jenny you get the legs! That´s right, get them hamstrings!”

“You got im on the ground, now pile on, pile on!”

“Great, now tear im up good! **Rip and tear!”**

When the video ended, Honey was left sitting by her desk, struck dumb from existential dread.

She only got about thirty seconds though, as Finnick´s voice echoed between the walls.

**“OI HONEY! GRUB!”**

In a daze, the mustelid slowly shambled to the dinner table. The delectable smell she walked into, however, suddenly snapped her out of it.

As she slowly took her place by the table, she watched as the bunny spooned up gumbo for them all.

With a deep sigh, getting a nose full of a truly delicious smell, she decided that, _‘Heck with it’,_ she would enjoy the food and leave her questions for a bit later.

She watched as the two foxes dug in with relish, Finnick didn´t seem able to move his utensils between his mouth and his bowl fast enough for his taste. Curious, she scooped up a mouthful for herself and brought it to her mouth.

_Bliss._

It was, quite simply, one of the most wonderful things she had ever tasted. So rich and creamy, tasting of herbs and vegetables and… and… _seafood._

Looking askance at the rabbit(?) that was happily scarfing down her own portion, Honey made sure that, yes, she had definitely served them all from the same pot.

Trying for a detached air, she put a bit of humour in her voice. “Wow, Judy, the way you eat seafood it´s hard to think your prey. You sure you’re not a… hugbear, or something?”

The bunny gave her a confused look for a moment before she waved off the suggestion with a small laugh. “Don´t be ridiculous! I´m pretty sure that old urban legend was made up by some farmer to keep city-slickers out of his crops.” As she spoke, she picked up a fork and speared a jumbo shrimp from her bowl. Opening wide, she stuffed it in her maw and shewed it loudly before she finished. “There is no such thing as a bunbear!”

Honey felt she had gone well over her ration of staring dumbly for the day, but now she added some more for good measure.

“By the by, Honey, when had you planned to clear out the guest-room? You´ve really made quite the mess of it.”

At the completely out of left field comment, the honey badger moved her gaze to Nick with a sudden pang of unease.

At the fox´s even gaze, she had an epiphany that hit her like a lightning-bolt from a clear sky.

_‘THIS IS A BLOODY GETTING! All day has been a setup for this! The article, the video, the mammals at Wilde Times! Judy is even eating meat!_

_…they have really gone out of their way for this prank, it´s rather hard to NOT believe there are bunbears with all the evidence… oh no. OH no no no no!’_

She cast her eyes around the table and found herself the centre of attention. Finnick was grinning evilly, Nick was wearing The SmugTM, but the bunny´s completely guileless smile was probably worst.

Carefully moving her bowl well to the side, she gave a thousand-yard stare into the abyss…

*KA-THUNK!*

…before she performed a textbook faceplant into the table with extra gusto. Then she spoke into the tabletop.

“You evil, evil mammals! You know I love conspiracies and hate not knowing stuff! You´re going to hold the truth about hugbears, or bunbears, or whatever, over my head until I get that room cleaned out, aren´t you?”

Her only answer was a lot of raucous laughter.

-RK-

Later that evening, after having had a stupendous meal and cleaned off the table, the whole gang had gathered before the TV to end the day with a movie before bed.

Sitting in his usual spot on the couch, with Honey on the other end and Nick in his favourite recliner as usual, Finnick pondered his day with satisfaction. Patting his stomach, full of good eating, he could honestly say that he couldn´t remember the last time he had laughed so much. Or the last time he had seen Nick laugh so much. That fox was always cool, calm and collected, the mammal with the plan! To se him let go as much as he had today warmed the little fennec´s heart.

_‘Who´d have thunk that a bunny could do all this? Heh, I really think I might like having bunny-cop around, after all!’_

Speaking of the bunny, she was walking over with a pair of popcorn bowls in her paws. Setting one down on the table between him and Honey, she took the other one over to Nick and set it on the armrest of his seat. Then, she patted the fox lightly on his legs to get him to make room for her.

Still amazed at how the small bunny was so comfortable getting close to the red tod, Finnick watched her sit between Nicks legs and lean back against his long torso, her head under his chin. Wriggling in place a bit, she snuggled in as close as she could get, before she took the unresisting fox´s large paws and wrapped them around her mid-riff.

Nick seemed a bit surprised at this, but the bunny´s whispered “I owe you this, remember?”, he relaxed back in his seat and held his bunny wife close.

Watching them from the corner of his eye, Finnick got the impression that the two mammals was all but exuding a field of pure contentment. Still, his eyebrows rose ever-so-slightly when Nick´s tail came up to wrap itself around the bunny, too.

They crept up still a bit further when Judy put the popcorn-bowl in her lap and started feeding both herself and Nick the treats. That she had to put her paw into the fox´s mouth to do it didn´t even seem to register with the couple.

Still, the action-comedy they were watching wasn´t that great, so it was not that big a surprise that after about half of it, Finnick found himself almost nodding off. Blinking a few times, he looked around and noticed that Judy had beaten him to the land of Nod; Hugging Nick´s tail close, she was sleeping soundly.

“Oi, Nick.” His deep voice carried well even at very low volume.

“Hm?” The tod looked ready to fall asleep himself.

“Ah think the wifey conked out on ya.”

Looking down with a sleepy smile, the fox confirmed it was so.

“So she has. Meh, she has the right of it. Ima take her to bed.”

Moving the bunny to a princess-carry, the fox slipped off his seat and padded off with his precious cargo.

Watching Nick turn the corner, the fennec was slightly surprised by Honey´s voice.

“That is just so _WEIRD_.”

Blinking a bit, he turned to her with a raised eyebrow. “Why´s dat? Far as ah can tell, them two seem like they wer made for each-otha.”

Lifting her arm and pointing a claw right at his nose so close that he went cross-eyed, the badger whisper-shouted: “ _THAT! Right there! THAT_ is the weird part! Since when were foxes and bunnies MADE for each other?” Crossing her arms with a huff, she added to her point. “Damn, I myself can´t even so much as imagine Nick with another female now!”

Scrunching his face into a thoughtful scowl, Finnick gave that some serious contemplation.

Okey, he had to give it to the badger, the way that bunny-cop and Nick just seemed to click into place after just a day was seriously weird, but surely it wasn´t that hard to think of a handsome tod like Nick with a pretty vixen, was it? Not that he could ever get the bigger fox to take a chance with the fairer sex ever before; Nick would look, go “Yes, very pretty.” And then loose interest. It was as if all the vixens were lacking something crucial for the red fox to take any interest. After a while, Finnick had assumed that he was simply asexual or some such and left it at that.

But just imagining it couldn´t be that hard, right? Squinting his eyes shut, the fennec saw Nick with his inner eye. The red fox was standing by an anonymous building somewhere, casually leaning on the wall. Then, a beautiful vixen walking down the street, heading for the fox. So far, so good. But then, as the smiling vixen approached, she started to subtly change; Her tail shrank, her ears grew, her fur took on a different hue. As the female reached Nick, she was no longer a vixen, but a grey-furred bunny doe that immediately jumped to catch a smiling Nick in an embrace.

Exasperated, Finnick focused harder and tried again and again, trying to fix the vixen in his mind and making her approach faster and faster. To no avail; The mammal reaching Nick was always a small grey bunny.

Gritting his teeth in annoyance, the dessert fox decided to try another tack. If bunny-cop was going to be difficult, then let’s see how she liked it! Replacing his thought-version of Nick with the bunny, Finnick instead imagined a good-looking buck sauntering up towards her with a flirtatious grin.

However, the closer he came, the less pleased thought-Judy looked. As the buck came within a few yards, she actually showed her teeth!

‘GROOOOOWRR!’

-RK-

Honey watched her friend witch curiosity and a touch of concern. He had sat motionless for a few minutes now, only he appeared to be getting more and more wound up, grinding his teeth.

Suddenly, without warning, the small fox jumped in his seat like he had gotten shocked but good by a T.A.M.E.-collar, his eyes snapping open to the size of saucers!

“What? What´s wrong, Finnick? You looked like you got zapped there, but you´re not wearing your collar!”

Waving her down with one paw while he held the other over his heart, he none the less sounded somewhat peaved. “Naw, naw, is all good, still your fault, though!”

What?

“What?”

“Totally is! You said ya couldn´t see Nick with any otha female, so ah tried ta imagine it.”

Nonplussed, she tried to make sense of what he was saying. “Oookey?”

*Huff.* “Yeah, couldn´t do it. Da vixen ah sent for Nick kept turnin’ into da bunny, no matter what.”

Amused now, she made a circular ‘go on’ gesture with her paw. “Yes, and so…?”

Crossing his arms and looking decidedly irritated by now, he continued his explanation. “So ah tried ta do it da other way aroun’, givin’ da bunny a fancy buck. Didn´t work any betta, she growled an’ gave im a round-house kick hard ‘nuff ta pink-mist im on da spot. Fuck it all, even in ma own head dat bunny is scary as shit!”

Honey stared at her diminutive friend for several moments before she laughed so hard that she promptly fell off the couch.

-RK-

“BWAHAHA*THUMP!*HAHAHAHA!”

Nick was lying in his bed with his bunny in his arms when the loud disturbance roused him from the light doze he had just achieved. “The heck was that?” Not wanting to disturb his bed-mate, it was said in a low murmur.

Said bed-mates sniggering attested to her neither being asleep nor as out of the loop as the fox. “That, my dear fox, was the sound of Honey laughing so hard at Finnick that she fell off the couch. Didn´t stop her laughing, though.”

Now Nick was sniggering too. “Yeah, you know, honey badger don´t care.”

The two shared a quiet laugh at their housemate’s expense, before the fox continued.

“Well, normally she don´t, but I´m pretty sure you made her care today. That was some getting you planned, sly bunny!”

“Ha, you´re one to talk, Mr ‘haven´t-seen-a-hugbear-throwdown-since-I-was-seven’! Clever fox!”

“Well, I had to get her on the right track somehow. How many red herrings about hugbears have you seeded the ‘net with, anyway?”

“Oh, lots and lots. Had to make sure there is reasonable doubt, you know?”

“I just hope she found the training video. Would be a damned shame if she missed your dads´ instructions.”

*Snigger.* “Rip and tear! I can´t believe he said that. Malcolm must have coached him.”

“Heh. Your family is way cooler than I ever imagined.”

At those words, Judy put her paws on his cheeks and turned his head down to her. And then she kissed him. It was a long, damned good kiss that left the fox speechless.

After the kiss, she backed off slightly and looked him straight in the eyes.

“It sure is, Nick. It sure is.”

After that, she had once more cuddled in to him as close as physically possible and, for the third time, fell asleep in his arms.

That left a poor tod lying awake all atingle.

All he could do was lay there and pull his wife close.

Celestials, but she was amazing! Like just a few minutes ago, when he had put her down on their bed to get changed, and when he turned back to her she was already dressed in one of his shirts again and under the cover. He had taken his eyes off her for, like, two seconds! She had been asleep!

*Sigh.* ‘ _What a day. One of those days you will never forget for as long as you live.’_

Relaxing fully, he felt his consciousness start slipping away almost immediately.

_‘Oh well, I think I can live with that burden…’_

-RK-

**AN: This chapter fought me long and hard, which is why it is just that.**

**I can only pray to the Digital Omnissiah that I hence forth be blessed with the same generative capacity as the Wordborg himself.**

**End of lime.**

**\---NOTHING FOLLOWS---**


End file.
